Author Archives: theshytird

My arsehole producing shit makes the best job ever. It is very good at it. It even works on the weekends. Nice. Very nice. I should give it a raise!

Trouble shitting today. I guess it’s because I’m out of my routine Well could be! There’s only a shy little tird watching me, head right on top of the water surface.

Yes, as a matter of fact, there was more. There is now in my toilet more or less the same amount of shit there was ten minutes ago. And I flushed it down, you know. It kind of re-spawned. Where the hell does it come from? I haven’t eaten double! Now my body is self-producingContinue reading “Thursday, 26 May 2022 | 06:25 AM”

The Omen was correct, now the pool is crowded with chilling tirds, sitting all around in a very hazy water. Sure they are happy now, finally freed from a dark and claustrophobic place such as the intestines. There’s a bit more coming though, I feel it. Or perhaps my anus is just a little itchyContinue reading “Thursday, 26 May 2022 | 06:10 AM”

Ominous bowels burden.

The good the bad and the ugly are inside the shell. The good is a HUGE turd taking all the spot, nothing to say, it is the winner, the bigger, the better, the stronger the BAD boy stays a little out, seeking revenge from the good The UGLY is small and underdeveloped, it’s not evenContinue reading “Wednesday, 25 May 2022 | 06:41 AM”

I woke up this morning with this insane idea of falling back to sleep, but something was awake already, something prevented me from falling back into Morpheus’ arms. There’s a bomb ticking inside me, going to explode, gotta be dropped. Don’t know why though, I didn’t eat anything terrible, I guess it is just myContinue reading “Tuesday, 24 May 2022 | 06:34 AM”

I have a turd still attached to my arsehole. Oh, right, it fell. The end.

As I thought, every bit of shit was still inside me. Now it is outside. Having a party in the pool altogether.

The deafening sound of silence interrupted by an incisive splash. It is a shy tird in the hole! And nothing more. Everything else is just phantom crap

I’ve just felt abused by my own bowels. My arsehole was very not ready to accept anything to step through it. Nevertheless my intestines decided to go at their own pace. I’ve been raped. Now I cry.

Eerie movements inside my intestines….

You’ve waited enough time! Meatballs are ready now! Breakfast is served! I wouldn’t recommend ‘em though, put some sauce on it, it’ll adjust the pointy flavour. Jokes aside, guys, my turds are perfectly shaped meatballs. Size is perfect, consistence is great… If I were selling my shit in jars, this would be one of aContinue reading “Friday, 20 May 2022 | 06:33 AM”

This poop is nothing great. It is one of those which stays hidden inside, sacrificing few bits to stay concealed. I only got rid of these pieces, yet still waiting for the core.

When my body has not recovered enough, and it is not yet wide awake, it cannot make the whole shit in the morning in only one session. It often happens I finish my session wiping my arsehole with some toilet paper, I clean my butt, and I go have a day start. So what happensContinue reading “Wednesday, 18 May 2022 | 06:48 AM”

It feels like I shouldn’t have woken up this morning, my arse won’t even start. I mean, there’s stuff inside, but there’s not enough energy to pull it off. And it is also way too clean…

Brisk reprisal

My eyes just want to stay shut, but my anus wants to stay broad. It has to put all the pirates outboard. Since yesterday I had sushi, now raw fish can go back swimming in the ocean.

After a sushi dinner anything is gas related. I am stuffed with air

It is the first morning in a while I can’t really take a crap as soon as I wake up. That’s a little odd, but I guess it’s just a matter of patience and it will come… Two minutes later Yeh, here it is. It’s always so liberating, me still drowsy, dream-like-thinking, and some shitContinue reading “Monday, 16 May 2022 | 06:26 AM”

It’s not easy to describe what’s up with my anus this morning. Tu put it simply: spiciness. I had a spicy dinner, and now my hole is fully fired. Idk, I probably like this kind of feeling. I can’t be sure she will enjoy being the room as soon as my girlfriend wakes up… ThisContinue reading “Sunday, 15 May 2022 | 06:22 AM”

Reprisal

My night was harsh. Couldn’t get why, mostly anxiety I guess. NOPE, it was because of those fried pastry-filled-mozzarella-thinghyies I had for lunch. As soon as I woke up I created a little pile of shit. It’s more like a miniature Mountain. Trust me, it’s like when you use a shovel and you move freshContinue reading “Saturday, 14 May 2022 | 06:50 AM”

It’s three thirty in the morning, I can’t sleep, but I can soundly fart. I go have some proper ones in the bathroom.

All righty, it actually happened what I felt was going to. It’s happening pretty often, to be fair. And I am glad it happened. Simply, I was about to get out for my morning jog, when the shit I felt was still inside me knock-knocked. Who’s there? ‘WHROOOOM’! That was immediate!

Today I am having troubles pooping. I mean, it’s not constipation, but I feel like there’s something left inside after each push. Well, guess it’s something normal… Maybe it’s caused by the fact I had some nightmares not long ago, or maybe is because I am very sad this morning. Or maybe, maybe it’s justContinue reading “Friday, 13 May 2022 | 06:27 AM”

A Softy

Live from the white throne. I’ve just had breakfast and I was headed to the shower, the toilet was in between, so I decided to take some advantage of it. I achieved almost nothing. I’ve just stained the slope with the littlest turd ever. POINTLESS.

The beginning of the day means deflating, i.e. MANY FAAARTS. And a huge piece of crap after me, i.e. A BIG TURD. That doesn’t make me awake, though

I have a freaking serious gas problem. I’m constantly bloating. I am serious. My bowels are highly problematic. And flammable I believe… So now, I’d pretty much like to sleep, BUT, this internal air I’ve got stored within me is very discomfortable. It stresses me out! Ok ok… GOTTA RELAAAAX.