Author Archives: theshytird

After a nearly 10-hour slumber, I can now proudly sit on my toilet, dropping the bomb lucidly, enjoying every single protrusion coming out of my arsehole. PAINFULLYYYYYY!

It’s almost Halloween and all the marketing surrounding me is kind of suggesting me to celebrate it. Perhaps I could carve a pumpkin, fill it with my own shit, and then set fire to it. Not that scary uh? What if I produced many of them and throw one at any trick-or-treater who knocks myContinue reading “Friday, 22 October 2021 | 07:26 AM”

I’ve just remembered my dream. I was at my office’s toilet, shat all over it. My boss from outside was yelling. ‘Not the right moment! Hurry up!’ I was struggling. The flush had just broke, my creamy shit was all over the poopbrush, and the toilet has no window. I woke up

I woke up quite too early, five o’clock, the alarm was set for six. I spent the spare hour sitting on my toilet, just to incentivise my arse to produce what remains of that curry I had yesterday.

Yesterday I decided to change my website’s skin after two years. Feels like an awesome change. Can’t say the same for my bottom. It’s seven o’clock and it doesn’t seem to care about taking a shit 😦

All right, now a new complication begins., the more I keep shitting, the more I feel pain inside me. Right! Exactly the boon my morning is supposed to begin with! Feels soooo great being late at work just because my body is so troubled!

Some days I reckon I shall open a blog about insomnia. I’ve just spent one of those night in which I feel like I would not exist at all. In the end, the very first moment after the mindstorm I find myself lucid enough to think clearly is this, while I sit on the toilet.Continue reading “Tuesday, 19 October 2021 | 08:28 AM”

My workday is finally over, I could freely go to the gym- …Though wait a minute! I’m about to lose some weight! T-t-t-tird down the hole! Nice.

I had to wait at least 25 minutes before something started to shoot out. Eventually, some cream fell inside the pool. My work-week could now begin

I noticed I struggle having a shit in no-routine days. It’s sunday, I woke myself up late, not had any shit. Now nothing seems to get out.

Climbing my weight down. More shit is coming! I am finally freeeeeee! 0.8 kilos of shit in less than 10 hours. Impressive!

Before this shat I was 66.6 kg, There’s clearly something evil in it! After a long and painful shit, I am not even back to my average weight, half a kilogram of shit. This, though, is still something!

What to say?Let’s just say I have been feeling quite wrong for days now, constipation, difficulties in farting, What’s up?!?!?! I feel like there’s a whole cargo shit inside me! C’moooooon let’s get rid of it! …not without pain though…

According to what I felt inside me yesterday, I shall have loads of shit to expel, piled up for days. Nevertheless, I only pooped some dry tirds, idle pieces of shit. Not satisfying at all.

I am having some issues today. No shit in the morning (even if I sat there for 45 minutes). Loads of farts. A lot is gone already, some are still inside, punching me within.

I’ve just realised I am not eating fruit these days. I noticed from my clogged shit. I mean it is in its way out, I feel it in my inner anus, but it just doesn’t want to get out

Back on the technical stuff. Since I feel crap hidden inside me, I am trying to stimulate it out using this technique of mine (which I don’t think I invented), it consists of stretching my anus in and out alternately. After a few movements, the bowels shall activate, and burst it all out. This timeContinue reading “Tuesday, 12 October 2021 | 07:44 AM”

Well well well, here we go again. I had some beers and I slept less than I firmly need to get through with my day. My belly’s weighted, my shit is still inside. I am constipated. There’s this friend of mine who’s getting abroad, one year in Peru. Very nice indeed! Whatever was the reasonContinue reading “Tuesday, 12 October 2021 | 07:34 AM”

Finally, a place to stay stain. My friend leaves for one year in South America, and I had to use his home toilet for a stone shit. I mean, it really feels like I’ve just shat a big pebble. I feel better now btw…

Now that I digested lunch it’s getting harder and harder to hold my farts at work. But I guess I gotta wait… My anus is not as determined though

A little constipation to start the week. Not a good sign.

I don’t remember to have any shit today…

Been trying unsuccessfully. I get it! Gotta fill up the tank first! Yesterday’s diarrhoea emptied it all…

AGAIN. Transitioning to liquidity this time…

I thought what I experienced this morning was enough. I could not be more wrong. I was working smoothly when a call from within reached me abruptly. I am now defecating what seems like lava, at my office toilet, which has no windows, just an old under-performing vent. 😐 In the meanwhile, my bowels feelContinue reading “Friday, 8 October 2021 | 01:10 PM”

It is way too early to be awake already. Here’s what’s happened. There’s this friend of mine who raps, he’s been telling me he does ever since I knew him. Whole these years I never happened to have listened to him. Yesterday he made kind of a debut with his crossover band, Thursday is notContinue reading “Friday, 8 October 2021 | 05:40 AM”

I’ve got to say what’s just happened doesn’t happen very often. It never occurred before to me indeed. I was about to leave the office when I realised I might have needed a shit, so I sat on the toilet. I stretched for a while, but nothing seemed to get out apart from some randomContinue reading “Thursday, 7 October 2021 | 04:54 PM”

Yesterday I had pizza for dinner, and I am the kind of person who orders it once a month. I thought I would have had a good solid Tird for shitting this morning, but it didn’t happen 🙁 Only a few droplets, such a shame!

Even if I spent 40 minutes trying, no turd got out. Not even a shy one 🙁

In the morning pooping often does not come easily, nevertheless I don’t haste, I grab my hammer and I build this shit BRICK BY BRICK!