Author Archives: theshytird

Great, a new week begins. Birds are singing, every bulb of my body is sweating, and shit is down the hole! Even if it’s the size of two beans…

I was relaxed, starting to write a draft for the second episode of my podcast, when I thought ‘mh, talking about shit… what if there’s something to do here!’ Yes there was!

A very quick reprisal. It seems that black magic was through, but some dark stuff was still in! Spicy

I was looking forward for this morning’s discharging, ever since I bit the very first pizza slice for dinner. It was heavy, I felt it. Difficult for my bowels to process. I knew it. I slept uncommonly good, but as soon as I was awake, a powerful great sceptre was pulsing inside me. With itsContinue reading “Sunday, 26 June 2022 | 09:20 AM”

In the end I made it. Slept for three hours. Lol. Now I am taking a shit, and my bowels is making fun of me farting all around. So frustrating!! Couldn’t you make it last night? So stupid!

I am awake, my eyes keep crossing because of the tiredness. As soon as I close them though, I feel a strong pain ok my belly. There’s some gas blocked, I tried ‘em all to get it out, candle position, pushing through with my hands, walking, laying face up, face down. Nothing helps.

Since yesterday I had no dinner, I am just expelling a little yuck. Very very little. Very very soft. Very very unworthy of any kind of story. Definitely missing the great crap from the last days…

Can’t believe this! Another shit!! That german restaurant should be proud of itself! This one looks just like cats’ poop after a meat buffet.

There’s more. The odds were 100% happening for sure. Blip blop, turds falling like raindrop on a lake, blistering water like a professional trampoline diver, producing no splash at all. Almost a pleasure to see that. But I can’t, I am too concentrated on calming my mind, setting myself apart from the affliction of losingContinue reading “Thursday, 23 June 2022 | 07:38 AM”

OKAAAY OKAAAAY, I am awake! CALM YOURSELF DOWN!!! These are my first words this morning. I was just trying to get back to sleep, so I tossed in bed, flipping from the right side to the left, when a hasty pressure inside my bowels just presented itself abruptly, exploding inside so rapidly it was suddenContinue reading “Thursday, 23 June 2022 | 06:50 AM”

Aaaand here comes another reprisal. Yeah, actually I already knew, it is impossible for me to have a normal poop routine the day after some beers, or eating bread, or both. It simply means I have bowels problems, and I’ve never wanted to warn about it. As I am writing, stool keep getting out ofContinue reading “Wednesday, 22 June 2022 | 02:28 PM”

Ok I guess my thought was legit. I’ve just clutched some little pieces of marmalade out. They were more beer-sandwich related. Now makes sense, I just needed some patience. I always lack of patience in life. Patience always bring happiness, and SHIIIIIIT! More SHIIIIT.

I really don’t understand my body. There are those days when I eat sandwiches, pizza and stuff like this and I have diarrhoea, followed by days of bloating, very stinky shit and a diffuse sickness in my belly. And the days when I do the same, even drink some beers, and the day later IContinue reading “Wednesday, 22 June 2022 | 08:30 AM”

Sliding through the door as I crouch down the toilet. How can it be so easy? My shit is so calm, whilst me am so in turmoil

One long thing

After the first shit I had breakfast and headed to the supermarket. It was fast, but never enough. While queuing for the check-out I spread the air surrounding me with pestilent stink, the man behind the desk was very fast and professional, and didn’t protest for the strong smell. Rushed home. I am now calmContinue reading “Sunday, 19 June 2022 | 10:00 AM”

I need to sleep more. What kept me from doing it this morning was the shit inside me. It’s very soft and very gassy, It’s very smooth and very messy, Color may vary, I am just shady

As I already knew, YES! There was more! More and more! I can proudly say, what I shat this morning was not just half of it but more like a fifth of the total. Noooow, THAAT’s what I am talking about!!! Yeah baby! That’s shitting!!

All right. I woke myself up pretty early, in this beginning of the weekend, but I am going hiking with a friend. It might be cool. Now, the first thing a hiker needs is to be as light as possibile, unburdened from anything unnecessary. I haven’t done it properly, been sitting here for half anContinue reading “Saturday, 18 June 2022 | 05:22 AM”

This morning I am sprouting little balls, little tiny balls of shit. They have no personality, they simply are, they exist. But they have no meaning.

GM, some stuff is already in the hole, gotta wait for the twin to reach the brother though. I’m in no mood for waiting, just get out and free me plz

Some kind of hard dry stool. At the beginning Some very soft, high in gas turds. At the end

A little sum up: I haven’t taken a shit in more than 30 hours. I drank a bottle of wine before dinner. I turned of on the sofa for some 4 hours. I opened my eyes at 3 o’clock, insomniac, I went running at first daylight. Now I am back. First things first, let’s tryContinue reading “Wednesday, 15 June 2022 | 06:36 AM”

Eventually I spent the day not taking a shit at all. I emptied a bottle of red wine before dinner, and I fell asleep. Now I am awake, been sleepless for almost a hour now. Feel like my belly is full of shit. Fucking telling lies. C’mon! It is clear AF, there’s evil inside! JustContinue reading “Wednesday, 15 June 2022 | 03:56 AM”

Fucking spent twenty minutes sitting on the toilet. WITH NO RESULT WHATSOEVER. The say starts badly

Fucking hottest summer is making my sleep poor as ever. I wake up in the morning just because I see the light, bur my body stays in the grey zone. My shit is still locked inside. I gotta rush to get to the office, but I am blocked inside my bathroom. Chained to my toiletContinue reading “Tuesday, 14 June 2022 | 08:57 AM”

Okay, so I went for a run, had breakfast, took some rest. NOOOW my bowels are ready. Shit deployed. It was a ton. Now it keeps floating

I thought I could shit more today, I really thought, as I was farting the worst yesterday evening before going to sleep. Well, all right. I guess I’ll just need to wait… 😕

It’s too hot outside. I’ll stay home and have some shit. Again.

Huge turds. The weekend is frenzy for my bowels