Author Archives: theshytird

Sunday, 29 December 2019 | 10:37 AM There’s nothing like playing poker at your friend’s house, drinking beer, getting high, never stop drinking beer, drinking wine too! Coming back home at six o’clock in the morning, waking up at 10:30 AM with a thundering diarrhea exploding inside you. That was hot.

Saturday, 28 December 2019 | 09:12 PM There’s nothing like playing poker at your friend’s house, drinking beer, getting high, and shit your crap in his loo.

Saturday, 28 December 2019 | 11:16 AM Some days I wish some days some people invent some kind of something to suck shit out of my arse.

Saturday, 28 December 2019 | 12:06 AM Midnight Shit! Such a wonderful thing!

Friday, 27 December 2019 | 12:08 PM It’s so sad… These are my last shats of the year…

Thursday, 26 December 2019 | 08:20 PM I just realised I took no poop today! Let’s make it up!

Wednesday, 25 December 2019 | 11:40 PM Still got some.

Wednesday, 25 December 2019 | 08:28 PM T(H)IRD TIME!CHRISTMAS TIME!

Wednesday, 25 December 2019 | 04:41 PM I just had the deepest nap ever. Post-Christmas-lunch shat is divine! And that’s what I call a holy shit!

Wednesday, 25 December 2019 | 12:14 PM Shit! I lost my streak again! Must be due to the fact I had nothing to expel… I kinda stop eating two days before Christmas in order to prepare myself to the great holiday feast. Yesterday was just Day1 of this devastating tradition. I devoured an entire crab,Continue reading “Wednesday, 25 December 2019 | 12:14 PM”

Monday, 23 December 2019 | 05:27 PM Yesterday I had a high school mates reunion. When I asked for a steak, rare cooked, one of my mates said ‘I wouldn’t do that!’ -Why? ‘The last time I asked for a rare steak in here I spent the next three days sick with a terrible diarrhea’Continue reading “Monday, 23 December 2019 | 05:27 PM”

Monday, 23 December 2019 | 03:17 PM I’m in my bed trying to get a little power nap. Obviously I could not fucking sleep, had to deal with insomnia. Why did I drink that capuccino in the morning? I never learn, do I? In the meanwhile something was ripening inside me. I was on theContinue reading “Monday, 23 December 2019 | 03:17 PM”

Monday, 23 December 2019 | 10:19 AM Here comes that time in the year when every plan you make just fails. I just want to sleep till lunch time…. ‘Course not! You can’t! Says my belly. Thus I sit here waiting until the smelly rainfall ends.

Sunday, 22 December 2019 | 10:50 AM Back again on distress!Everytime I struggle, in pain, having a shit I try to share it with people. It is impossible to make them understand how bad I feel. Horrible contraptions rise from my bowels, I freeze. Every contraption lasts between 30secs and 2mins. Some minutes pass andContinue reading “Sunday, 22 December 2019 | 10:50 AM”

Saturday, 21 December 2019 | 01:26 PM Alrighty, I just started back working at disco parties. So I just woke myself up. Hate it. At first I am like ‘such a cool thing’. At the end I am like ‘fuck me!’ In the morning evening my arse is like NNNNOOOOOO

Friday, 20 December 2019 | 05:18 PM Finally home! Fuck me! I just spent kinda 2 hours on the bus struggling to hold my farts. Obviously as soon as I sat on my throne I copiously shat.

Friday, 20 December 2019 | 07:47 AM Nihil sub sole novum (nothing new under the sun) states the Bible (Ecclesiastes 1:9). Now, I do not consider myself as a religious person. I am indeed an atheist. Though the Bible is full of references; here it phrases that ever since Earth was created, everything happening onContinue reading “Friday, 20 December 2019 | 07:47 AM”

Thursday, 19 December 2019 |12:41 AM Ever since I started this whole shitty thing I gave me just one rule: publish a post every time I take a poo. I think it is clear. Besides that I can’t publish posts if I don’t take a poo. It is a stupid rule, I know I amContinue reading “Thursday, 19 December 2019 |12:41 AM”

Tuesday, 17 December 2019 | 01:16 PM Lunch time sessions are my favourite ones. My body is fully aware of what’s going on, my mind as well. My nose is not so lucky though.

Tuesday, 17 December 2019 | 10:25 AM Despite my name, this shat is pretty pushy. It just wanted to come out, kept sending dire warnings since I opened my eyes in the morning.

Monday, 16 December 2019 | 07:39 AM Induced reprise! I can’t leave bringing such a burden all day long. And Yes. It smells like this one’s the best idea of the day. Better lock this scent in my loo.

Monday, 16 December 2019 | 06:54 AM Fuck me! Fuck me! I need to sleep, body! Yesterday I had one of the best dinner ever. A friend of mine is a fisherman, so he and his girlfriend basically take some fish every weekend, they eat all the big ones right away, saving the little onesContinue reading “Monday, 16 December 2019 | 06:54 AM”

Sunday, 15 December 2019 | 04:28 PM Oh boy! Eventually I free myself! Yesterday I went to a night party, it was so long since I attended one. I came back late in the morning. Guess my body just forgot what time it was because of that!

Saturday, 14 December 2019 | 07:12 PM You know I don’t like defining my diet in tags. I am not a vegetarian, I am not a carnivore either. Obviously I am not vegan. I like everything. I care about planet sustainability, yet I eat at fast foods (like one a year). My diet is healthy,Continue reading “Saturday, 14 December 2019 | 07:12 PM”

Saturday, 14 December 2019 | 10:27 AM Great morning today! Yet I just disposed of three little children.

Saturday, 14 December 2019 | 01:06 AM Just a few crumbles before rest.

Friday, 13 December 2019 | 08:47 AM And here comes the reprise!! Oh boy! You know haruspex? In Ancient Rome they used to practice divination, they were able to read omens typically from dead animal corpses. Nowadays some cultures (Turkey, Greece) reads future (or pretend to do so) from empty coffee cups. Well, I justContinue reading “Friday, 13 December 2019 | 08:47 AM”

Friday, 13 December 2019 | 07:22 AM Thank god it’s Friday! And I ate pizza yesterday! This means just one thing: TIRD-XPLOSION! I kinda scent there will be many during the day!

Thursday, 12 December 2019 | 06:31 PM You know, there are some moments in which I am just having my wee… then SHIT HAPPENS! Everybody knows that. But my arse knows it better!

Thursday, 12 December 2019 | 08:49 AM Sizes matter. Especially when you got a huge tirdpedo coming out from your arse, defying elasticity of my skin.