the Shy Tird

After a few more turds my arse started aching.

Now I wonder, What am I doing wrong?

As I opened my eyes I noticed a huge fart was trapped inside me. I waited and waited, even had breakfast, then I sat here on my white throne, and POP, there it came.

Out! Safe and SOUND! Loyally followed by three turd folks, they all loved the dive!

Long have I been waiting for this dung to come out. Now that’s out I kinda miss it

I’m stuck sitting on the toilet. Been here for some thirty minutes. Yet no burden has left.

Still here waiting. But I got no time anymore.

Gotta bail.

Second attempt.

Oh nuggets!

New day, new week let’s see what we get.

Absolutely nothing!

Nnnoope

I haven’t given up on my dream to become a shitfluencer millionaire, so I keep shitting!

Today, a little harder than yesterday, it comes without scent at all.

I hope one day I could sell my shit to somebody

Sadly, another morning with nothing but air from my arse 😦

Still positive on the bad shit. I repeat, it’s the naughtier in weeks.

I am crouching in pain!

Well it is official, there’s clearly something going on with my intestines, I am dying in pain even if I’ve been almost fasting for an entire week!!

Oh fuck me!

Pretty early for a piece of shit ah? Well not so much considering I woke myself up at 1:30AM…

Btw this is the naughtier shit in weeks! It’s so creamy one could use it as a gourmet sauce!

I am fucking insomniac, Some weeks ago I’ve decided a new drastic strategy, no more dinner. For insomnia is not doing much by the moment, for my shit it’s just that I have no shit to do! There’s nothing inside me!

I am empty and I feel so!

Depressed repressed

Finally a few stones came out

No shit.

2-day streak, my biology is fucked up

No shit

How peculiar, it’s been at least a week since my shit stained the toilet paper when wiping off

I flushed down thrice. The turd is still floating mid-water.

Fuck it.

Am sitting at a bar outside, drinking with friends. Suddenly reeking farts amass in my arse. Gotta get inside to expel ‘em.

Even if outside it is fucking stinky!

Now am in the toilet. Relieved. Oops, a turd got out! Uncorking the bottle of smell now the toilet is out of order.

Squiddy shitty brownie

Another one for the arse-killing-nuggets.

It sank down immediately, it must weighted some 3-4kilos

And now a fist-shaped turd extrudes.

It was as well as big as a fist.

Ouch

Since I spontaneously woke up at 1:30 AM my body’s clock is completely fucked up and my arse simply don’t respond

Pretty smooth shit. My arse is wiped clean

Covid negative. End of quarantine. Japanese-Beazilian restaurant. Death of my intestines.

Now I am both constipated and full of farts

Not so much to shit in this cold morning

The fourth one of the day, I guess 🙃

Another piece of shit

Curry for lunch and now, a good sounding splash.

Gross

With tiramisu as second breakfast, I needed a great shit, which I did. And now I am satisfied. 🥰