the Shy Tird

A little turd got out while taking a wee at work.

Shit! I hate it when it floats!

It’s getting harder and harder to take a poop in the morning

A nice clean solid shit before going to bed

Nowww that’s what I call SHITTINGGGG! Yeeees

Very blobby yet very solid! That’s GOLD!

Yeeees

Exciting

Took a shit twice today, I had no phone with me, there’s been lunch then, and a very romantic sex.

I HAD LOADS OF FARTS TO DOOOOOO! Couldn’t though, there are moments when you simply can’t.

Just had a loooooong soundful fart as soon as my gf went to the bathroom.

Cool days

I was wondering when my body would have thrusted out the spicy chicken I ate last night, which deprived me of sleep, which I adored, which is now laying at the bottom of the toilet in the form of-
Well, it actually has no shape whatsoever. It’s just a brown blob.

The spiciness has now become itchiness.

I now wonder what kind of poker face will I be showing as soon as I open this toilet’s door at the office. .-.

Just shat.

Now, my post on one hand, my arsehole on the other, cleansing

Taking shit means patience. My intestines needs at least thirty minutes to be emptied. Sometimes it can even take hours. In the morning everything is more difficult, since my whole body is still metaphorically laid in bed.

Nevertheless, I start my day turd by turd. Now, this is a metaphor for life!

Last month of the year. Me, I feel like have nothing achieved. I only piled loads of shit.

Loads of ideas, such as selling my shit in jars as unique pieces, creating a cryptocurrency for my SHYT, NFTs, creating a kamaSutra for shitting positions, new stickers for advertising my Blog. Nothing Done.

Perhaps I hope next year I will be able at least to start the one I care about the most, The Shyt Show, the awesome podcast where I read my posts out loud, and tell more around those.

Still nothing. Only a few shameful turds. That’s what my life’s about right now.

I fucking spent the whole day holding a stupid loose shit inside me.

Finally am home. Perhaps I would have preferred to hold it forever. It stinks too much!

At least I feel healthier now

A new experience for me. Eating at the toilet.
I am sorry, that’s kinda disgusting, but I needed a shit whilst hungry. What else could I do?

Avocado and chips will do fine!🥑

BTW, Deep, veeery deep inside, I hear a voice saying, ‘What’s wrong with you!?’

Uh, btw, after a way-too-early alarm, a non-stop-rainy-day, a stupid non-heated-workplace in a freaking freezing day, I dragged my lunchbox along. It guarded me even during my diarrhoea attack.

At lunch I enjoyed my chicken curry, heated at point. Everything seemed in peace…

Well, war was just beginning. Farts kept congesting within my insides, and I couldn’t dare pffing any, had to hold ‘em for life. I held them so firmly, Now that I got out from work five hours ago, I still have the same tons of air trapped inside me.

It. Fucking. Kills. Me.

Sometimes, when my shit is this loose, I’d really like to have a mould in which to cast some cool sculpture, obviously made of my own CRAP.

Btw, I have diarrhoea, and it’s pretty difficult to go to work today, I’m late on my delay. my belly still aching

This morning I can’t separate my arse from the toilet seat. It’s sticky.

Yes, my crap is.

Sure! All the shit I haven’t done in the weekend, postponed to Monday morning. Been sitting here for forty minutes now, and the torture – because it is also painful, YES, why not! – hasn’t even finished yet!

C’moooon it’s getting late!!

Dunno why but in the weekend it’s like my body doesn’t care about shitting. Like ‘it’s not a working day, Let me beee!’

Crazy body

I ordered pizza for dinner. I’d like to enjoy it emptying my insides before it. I’ve been sittin for twenty minutes, not a single fart 😦

I took today in such an easy way that even my bowels relaxed. No shit

I am having some trouble at taking shit this morning.

I shall start counting how many times a year I struggle having shits. Not sure for what purpose…

I hate it when I get distracted while working… been Thinking this morning I had no shit 😦

It was still, more loose shit. stinky, impolitely stinky. Definitely Not Safe for Work.

Surely not safe for a toilet with no windows, at work.

OH FUCK!

I had my launch, then had a little piece of chocolate. Kept working. Kept working.

I’m on my laptop when suddenly, OUT OF NOWHERE, my insides started screaming DIARRHOEA!!!

Shit. Shit shit shit. Had a run.

The loose stools thing goes on. Have I been poisoned? Someone wants the king of shit dead!

Lol. It was the burger

My arse, a sprinkler.

I fell asleep one hour ago, then suddenly a urge woke me up. That’s a proper wake up call.

I sit on the toilet. I expel some turds, i feel evil inside me. It hurts. Some more turds. It feels like the evil is getting lower and lower, until.

BOOOOOM. A burst of shit from my arse. It’s total liquid. My arse is now a shit-sprinkler.

After a thirty-minute experience, I am back in bed, not feeling entirely right. I simply hope not to remember anything about this tomorrow

I’ve just proclaimed myself, King of my own reign, The Shyt Kingdom. by now I just feel lonely, all alone on my stained white throne.

While some little turds bounces off my arse, I will keep waiting for foresters to join my palace. It’s such a crappy place!

In the meanwhile I must study a way to promote my reign. Discord is fun, when in company.

‘Happiness is only real when shared‘, after all

Trying to figure out how to sleep, can’t. the excitement of my new discord is over the top

I created my discord, looking forward for meeting people inside it.

Just a little rapid shit, two tirds to be accurate. Two little littly shitty turds.

Kebab for lunch has been a very nice idea!

Farts while working is what I’ve really been missing 🙃

Time passes by and my shit keeps getting out, this means I am well. Not so cool tirds today btw