Wednesday, 18 May 2022 | 06:48 AM

When my body has not recovered enough, and it is not yet wide awake, it cannot make the whole shit in the morning in only one session.

It often happens I finish my session wiping my arsehole with some toilet paper, I clean my butt, and I go have a day start.

So what happens is, I put my shoes on, tie my shoelaces, and my arse gives me the first call, then I am turning the key in the front door locket, and my arse gives me the second call. I don’t even wait for a third one, because I know the third one means a Turd one!

This is precisely what happened this morning, and now I am taking my reprisal shit.

Saturday, 14 May 2022 | 06:50 AM

My night was harsh. Couldn’t get why, mostly anxiety I guess.

NOPE, it was because of those fried pastry-filled-mozzarella-thinghyies I had for lunch. As soon as I woke up I created a little pile of shit. It’s more like a miniature Mountain.

Trust me, it’s like when you use a shovel and you move fresh soil into s new pile. Exactly the same.N

ow, about my health…. still questioning

Friday, 13 May 2022 | 06:27 AM

Today I am having troubles pooping. I mean, it’s not constipation, but I feel like there’s something left inside after each push.

Well, guess it’s something normal…

Maybe it’s caused by the fact I had some nightmares not long ago, or maybe is because I am very sad this morning. Or maybe, maybe it’s just random. Let me wipe this thing off and get the day started…

Wednesday, 11 May 2022 | 06:23 AM

I am taking polka dot shit. Yes this is what I’ve just made, a polka dot poop.

It is brown and has loads of black freckles in it, they seem like small gems mounted on it in a pretty precise way.

Now I am trying to gather my thoughts and remember what did I eat that could have caused it… but I simply can’t recall. Well let’s just imagine My arse became a painter!

Monday, 9 May 2022 | 01:46 PM

Ever since I finished crafting my first shit, this morning I felt like there was more.

I stopped thinking about it for a while, gotta focus on work to do! Nice. Ok.

Then my boss went out early, I had lunch, and the toilet was all for me. It actually is.

Yeah. I am sitting on this little toilet (my office’s toilet is a bit low) and I’ve just made the longest turd ever. I mean, GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS, can you hear me??

Now, how do I flush down this huge mess? Firstly, I am so proud of it I’d prefer exposing it in some museum, secondly, I shall dispose of it. But the flush doesn’t properly work….

Friday, 6 May 2022 | 03:40 PM

A day off. I spent the day planning my podcast. It’ll be called The Shyt Show, will get out weekly, and I’ll be reading my week’s shit out loud.

I was on the sofa, making record tryouts, when suddenly, my session was interrupted by this snake of crap, it has born death though.

All right, I don’t have time for a shit right now, let’s move on, we have a show to broadcast here!

Thursday, 5 May 2022 | 05:56 AM

Can’t connect my brain, the only thing I see is war, there’s a deadly missile laying on the water, it is brown and has wrinkles, has it got out of me? Do ai have war inside me?

This and many other questions belong to to nighttime.

Whatever, Yesterday I had an ice cream for dinner, nothing else, it’s clearly not the healthiest choice I could make, and my body felt it.

I just find it cool that the sweet snack was more or less square-shaped, while this brownie tird is spiky and has an aerodynamic techy shape. The fact their color is just the same, I guess it was just luck!

At the bottom of the post, gotta do it, I must promote my brand new TELEGRAM CHANNEL, where anybody could stay up to date on the latest Shiiiiiit I make. Give it a look!