Author Archives: theshytird

It’s getting harder and harder to shit

My slumber gets interrupted at least once during the night, I’m used to take a wee, after that, I normally fall back asleep, but it’s not uncommon for me to just wake up and start my day earlier. Normally my girlfriend keeps sleeping while I work at my laptop. This morning happened exactly that, butContinue reading “Tuesday, 11 February 2025 | 7:32 AM”

Fast shit. Hate it but today is a workday for me.

Just woke up. Shit

Guess what, I must get out ASAP, but I’m stuck on the toilet. I’m supposed to get back home late today, as I’ve got plenty of things to do, so I’m trying to expel as much shit as possible. Had chili for dinner, you know! Btw, being on a rush stresses out my bowels… resultingContinue reading “Friday, 7 February 2025 | 7:27 AM”

My belly hurts, I had no shit yesterday, but I also ate Korean spicy udon for lunch and Mexican chili for dinner… I feel like the shit I produced is not enough to cope with that…

Dunno, not much to say. Woke up at 3:45AM. Not much ready to take a shit yet. But I should, yet don’t get out. Whatever. Dull. Hate it. Bye

You know those moments you realise you have more shit to do, but you realise it only when you’re already washing your bum? Yeah, just what is happening right now. And you have to get back sitting on the toilet. You know, I spend some 20/30 minutes here on the throne every day

Dunno, dumb shit

Lentils for dinner. You already know everything you didn’t even wanted to know about my shit this morning

KFC for lunch, ends up in diarrhoea

Well, after that dinner at Chinese restaurant I was expecting some diarrhoea or something, but actually, nothing. Just dull normal shit

Luckily got back home. Sat on throne. Extruded some tirds. Feel better. My day can begin

Every time I ask my girlfriend to borrow her car I found myself in times of trouble. Gotta get out fast, do everything fast, breakfast, washing, even shit, because I have to take her to her job place. Know what? CAN’T DOO! Been on the toilet for twenty minutes and now I am late. amContinue reading “Friday, 31 January 2025 | 7:37 AM”

Had herring salad for dinner. Anybody knows the effect? Just come, take a big breathe in my bathroom right now! Yeah, this is it, and a spicy hitch to the bottom line, arsehole

I’ve spent the whole morning farting, now I’m home, had lunch, kept farting. Fart fart Nother fart Fart Ok they’re too man-FART! I go take a shit now S-HIT! BOOM

Ok so what? Ate too many baked potatoes for dinner, I thought my girlfriend would have eaten more of that, and I cooked some more. In the end I couldn’t finish but I had to, they’re not good the day after, and I would have thrown them away. Was it wrong though? In the endContinue reading “Tuesday, 28 January 2025 | 7:57 AM”

There ain’t much to say about the current status of my shit this morning. It was hard, hard to shit, hard life today I feel weak and dizzy. Shit. Btw I believe there’s still a lot inside me to get rid of, it takes at least three days to get back to routine after theContinue reading “Monday, 27 January 2025 | 7:39 AM”

Perhaps some turds on the go. Better go to the toilet. Yep. That’s what it is. Just way too less than needed

Uhm…. another constipated day. I’m at my girlfriend’s mom and she always cooks for ten people, even if we’re just 2. Fuck. I miss my home toilet! I hate two-in-a-row constipated day

Woke up too late for having a real shit… I’ll pass that today. Hope everything will go well

I have nausea and vertigo, I’ve been sitting on my toilet for almost one hour. I feel sick. I maintained a streak of 20 days not drinking alcohol, and yesterday I broke it. Had a beer and four red wine glasses. The result is something I was desperately avoiding. It’s not that I have anyContinue reading “Friday, 24 January 2025 | 7:56AM”

No shit this morning Hence not much to say about

At first poop didn’t want to get out. There was no chance. Then, suddenly, while pushing and pulling my arsehole for the 100th time, BLOPBLOP. Everything out at once! Nice

My morning shit was soft and squashy this morning. Thing is though, once I wiped my arsehole, I noticed my shit was reddish. How odd. Did I eat an alien without me knowing it?? Well it was good. Or perhaps even my bowels is celebrating Trump! 🤔

This morning I wanted to craft a rapid shit, but my plans got wrecked by my bowels Clusters of turds burst out holding each other’s hand. Yeah, they don’t have hand, but I need a hand. Anyone?

I was going to write a dull post this morning, about yesterday being constipated, today waking up late and tomorrow have my routine reprised, but it would have been dull. Instead, Imma just describe today’s consistency. On a scale from 1 to 10 where one is hard and 10 is soft, today is 5. AsContinue reading “Sunday, 19 January 2025 | 10:27 AM”

This morning I woke up late and I didn’t have time for a shit. Nor I had the stimulus. Perhaps it will happen later