Sunday, 6 September 2026 | 6:49 AM

Another round of diarrhoea. Meanwhile the sun’s climbing up the sky and I still haven’t slept. Not exactly a mystery, is it — this horrible headache, and my guts so full and so irritated.

Sunday, 6 September 2026 | 6:21 AM

Stag do for a mate. I’ve spent the whole day drinking beer. Would’ve been manageable if I hadn’t been up since 5AM on four hours’ sleep. Now I’ve got a splitting headache and I just can’t sleep. Hang on — there’s something else keeping me awake… I keep farting....