Author Archives: theshytird

Eventually I spent the day not taking a shit at all. I emptied a bottle of red wine before dinner, and I fell asleep. Now I am awake, been sleepless for almost a hour now. Feel like my belly is full of shit. Fucking telling lies. C’mon! It is clear AF, there’s evil inside! JustContinue reading “Wednesday, 15 June 2022 | 03:56 AM”

Fucking spent twenty minutes sitting on the toilet. WITH NO RESULT WHATSOEVER. The say starts badly

Fucking hottest summer is making my sleep poor as ever. I wake up in the morning just because I see the light, bur my body stays in the grey zone. My shit is still locked inside. I gotta rush to get to the office, but I am blocked inside my bathroom. Chained to my toiletContinue reading “Tuesday, 14 June 2022 | 08:57 AM”

Okay, so I went for a run, had breakfast, took some rest. NOOOW my bowels are ready. Shit deployed. It was a ton. Now it keeps floating

I thought I could shit more today, I really thought, as I was farting the worst yesterday evening before going to sleep. Well, all right. I guess I’ll just need to wait… 😕

It’s too hot outside. I’ll stay home and have some shit. Again.

Huge turds. The weekend is frenzy for my bowels

Eventually comes the reprisal shit I was waiting for. It was a matter of survival. This shit resembles clay, after two days of forgetting it on top of the table. Not completely dried, not even soft enough. Just ugly. At least I feel much better now.

First hangover in a very long timespan. First turd is almost inconsistent. The second doesn’t even exist. Inside me it’s the universe in its birth. Big Bang. I don’t understand what I am talking about. I’ll just sleep now. I’ll lett my bowels wake me up when it feels like

One week pause from my workout, now my shit habits are delayed in the evening A thin brown line

I’m awake. Still drowsing in my bed. Gotta rush for the toilet. My girlfriend in the shower. No shit, what shall I do? One moment later I am shitting next next to her having a shampoo. Luckily it was not stinky. But I am waiting for a reprisal…

I went out of the office, walked my colleague to the Bus stop. As we crossed the first street, I felt a turd knocking the door. I waved at my colleague and ran home. I am sitting on the toilet, and I’ve just laid a hooked turd with the hugest gauge I’ve ever seen. Woah.Continue reading “Thursday, 9 June 2022 | 06:25 AM”

This morning I am very little inspired by my toilet. Just looking at these three little tirds, and I simply feel like it was not satisfying at all. Uhm… okay…

Speedy shit before the concert

Fresh roots

Ok I was waiting for this BIIIIIG SHIIIIT to come. It was huge. Plenty sarisfying. Lol Ok

Back home, some four thousand hours of sleep needed to recover, but none used. Back to my toilet, some 50pound of shit is now clogging my toilet. That was fast.

I don’t really know how to put it, but now I am sitting in this dimly lighted toilet, the floor has green tiles, and I’ve just downloaded everything pending inside my bowels. So freeeeeeeeeiiiiiinggg! Btw I fucking need some fresh fruit and fiber, in the hustle and bustle of this weekend I barely ate anythingContinue reading “Sunday, 5 June 2022 | 07:44 AM”

Now I finally earned a free moment to reconnect to my inner soul. Peace within me. Turds extruding like madness. Rest. Calm. Now my day can continue…

I spent yesterday walking all day long to complete tasks all around a place I’ve never seen before. Everything is so fast ai had to skip my shit today. I am burdened.

A three-day visiting work-stuff in a new town. Been put in a house with random people I’ve never mer before. First things first guys: I need a bathroom in the morning, otherwise I’ll just go have a shit in the wilderness. This morning I’ve been lucky enough to take a shit inside a windowless toilet.Continue reading “Friday, 3 June 2022 | 06:19 AM”

Another reprisal shit. This time it resembles brains. I mean it! Have you ever seen those brain in jars, with liquid to preserve it? Totally the same here!

Reprisal shit. This one has a very greasy smell, kind of synesthetic right? I had a spicy pepperoni pizza for dinner, Salami in it is very greasy, dense. That is what this thin smell feels like. It’s kind of wholesome…

Deadly serpents Gloomy spirals Evil stones These are the kind of rarity I produce right now

After a whole month not drinking alchool, yesterday I had a couple of beers. They were GREAT, I enjoyed every single sip. I went to sleep kinda early, then here I am, sitting on my toilet in the morning. There’s shit thrashing out of my hole, feeling like there’s a few more every single turdContinue reading “Wednesday, 1 June 2022 | 06:56 AM”

Anxiety and stress alter our body’s most basic instincts. Our stress comes from our so-frenetic life we live, so modern, hustle and bustle, running to pur jobs, making this and that. That is so sad. We’re not born for that. That doesn’t let us appreciate our mist basic needs. We are born for pleasure, weContinue reading “Tuesday, 31 May 2022 | 06:28 AM”

A quick drop after twelve hours of pause. Such a clockwork bowels! Nice, very nice! Now, what makes it longer than expected is sluckiness. It stained my arse so much I now have to clean myself thoroughly

Days are getting worst, and me, I feel torn into pieces just like my shit is. Today just scratches of a past turd. Just so ugly to see, not even worth mentioning.

Uhm, just a thin little rod. I was expecting something different I’ve gotta say it. You know, I spent yesterday evening farting all around my house. My girlfriend even did some math and we discovered I made something like 100’000 farts in my life. I sincerely thinks it’s way underestimated, but anyway… C’mooon I wasContinue reading “Sunday, 29 May 2022 | 08:42 AM”

A little HUGE reprisal shit. I was comfortably laying on the sofa watching some random YouTube videos when I felt my bowels calling. I immediately went to the toilet, where I sat idly. Just a few moments and then… My arsehole started puking copiously, it was very warm and utter creamy. It was good. IContinue reading “Saturday, 28 May 2022 | 07:38 AM”