Author Archives: theshytird

Tuesday, 2 April 2024 | 08:27 AM

Yeah, I know, it hasn’t passed much since my last post, that is to say, it hasn’t passed much since my last poop, but everybody knows diarrhoea, don’t they? Fuck! It hurts! Luckily I felt the second go just before leaving the house…..

Tuesday, 2 April 2024 | 08:19 AM

As always happens when you don’t take enough shit for two or more days, you end up having rough shit all at once. This time is even more difficult to me, since my sciatica hasn’t healed yet… Even pushing hard for some shit hurts a lot!!

First thing in the morning

What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like? Lol. First hour? Let’s say it takes me thirty minutes to have my milk and cereal for breakfast, then I jump to the bathroom and I take as much as thirty minutes taking a shit. It’s not that I spendContinue reading “First thing in the morning”

Saturday, 30 March 2024 | 07:28 AM

It’s early in the morning, it’s Saturday, and I am already on the toilet crafting some shit. There’s a news though! Today’s the very first day my girlfriend joins the loo while I’m taking a poo! So lovely! You know, we’re both late, and none of us could stand waiting outside! Gotta admit, my bowelsContinue reading “Saturday, 30 March 2024 | 07:28 AM”

Friday, 29 March 2024 | 06:41 PM

I’m on a business trip, we’re building the stage for a concert, all of us has their own apartment, but only my boss’ is the closest to the venue. I’ve got his keys, and desperately need a sheet from this morning. There’s not much else to say… just do the math

Thursday, 28 March 2024 | 07:42 AM

Ok this is the day. Like yesterday, and the day before, and tomorrow, I hope… I take a shit! Self-accomplishment day is every day! A fair amount of poop in the morning eases life, gives you self-confidence, reliability and a spread anus!

Sunday, 24 March 2024 | 10:10 PM

Btw, I forgot to report one peculiar shit I had today… I was just warming up, bouldering outdoor with friends, when sciatica shot me. What does back-pain have to deal with shit? Well I kept bouldering, and the urge for a shit grew and grew. Well well, on the road back home we had toContinue reading “Sunday, 24 March 2024 | 10:10 PM”

Sunday, 24 March 2024 | 10:09 AM

Late shit on Sunday morning. This, I dare to say, feels like an achievement for me, because normally on Sundays I oversleep, wake up way too relaxed, and I end up constipated 😦 Birds chirping in distance, sun shining through the window, and a big turd splashing in the pool. This sounds like a greatContinue reading “Sunday, 24 March 2024 | 10:09 AM”

Wednesday, 20 March 2024 | 08:42 AM

You know, when you drink beer and the day after you’re all cluttered, well, I’ve decided to have dinner with milk and cereal after my two pints, I thought it might protect and stabilise my tummy. Hell yeah, it worked! I slept fairly nice, and I have no stomach aching! Although, once on the toilet,Continue reading “Wednesday, 20 March 2024 | 08:42 AM”

Saturday, 16 March 2024 | 08:28 AM

To take a shit the day after a pizza, is getting mire and more difficult. You know, at first I feel constipated, even farts find their way out hardly, then some loose shit gets on, but very slowly, then stop, I’m not able to continue… All the day goes along with farts and my stomachContinue reading “Saturday, 16 March 2024 | 08:28 AM”

Thursday, 14 March 2024 | 08:21 AM

I had to do a lot of house chores this morning, dishes, fold the dry robes, laundry, clean cat’s litter, everything before having a relaxed shit! As soon as I sat, I got devoured by my toilet, shat all at once.

The airport bathroom

As I passed the security check, I rushed to the closest bathroom, as I desperately need a poo! I trust every arrow they put, following them to my craved destination, I tidily put my luggage one on top of the other, and I lower my trousers. Here I am. Yeah, I can finally push everythingContinue reading “The airport bathroom”

A letter to my 100yo self

Write a letter to your 100-year-old self. As you’re now crossing the century milestone, just look back. Do you see it? It’s still the same as it has always been: your shit resting at the bottom of the toilet. Hopingly, you’re at your own house, probably not even writing blog posts anymore, only giving inputsContinue reading “A letter to my 100yo self”