Tuesday, 11 August 2026 | 6:24 AM

My bowels don’t hurt much, just a bit. Roosters in the background singing, telling me to HAVE A SHIIIIIIIT! I hate them waking me up sooner than my alarm. This time they’re right. I’ve got a flight to catch, and a lot of turds to deploy. Alcohol...

Saturday, 8 August 2026 | 6:58 AM

Ok so. It’s tremendously hot these days. We already know. But if you add the fact that I only slept 3 hours, I drank yesterday, and I ate junk food, well. You have the picture. Or perhaps you could imagine how it is right below my arsehole, sitting on the toilet, just...