Author Archives: theshytird

I love it when in starts solid, then sticky, then blobby, then loosy. AAAAAALLL IN ONE TURD!

Easy Squeezy

Just pressed the quick-relieve button

My shit smells now.

Common stuff. Pizza causes malfunctions

Seems like no shit wants to get out this morning!

Yet, another turbulent rumble at the toilet.Obviously bringing my laptop with me.Harmful.

Exams always gave me anxiety, that is diarrhoea, loose poop, agitation, more shit, terrible farts. I have an exam in forty minutes, and I’ve decided for a beans soup as yesterday’s dinner. There have never been an idea greatest than that… Luckily, the examination is online. I shall have my laptop ready for the diveContinue reading “Tuesday, 14 December 2021 | 07:50 AM”

No shit in the morning Sends evening a warning

Well, I lost count. May be the sixth shit of the day…

Another one for the Shithole-of-fame!

Just a few winey drops as I opened my eyes on the toilet. In the same moment, I realised I dreamt shitting in a public toilet, but dropping the stool on the floor, people coming in the toilet, humiliating me. What In The Hell Was that?!

I don’t feel it Christmas. I just feel tipsy hippy need-to-shitty, constipaty Shitty. Needy. Greedy. Ho Dear santa. I want some laxatives

Yesterday I had just one meal. It was all you can eat sushi for lunch. Then nothing. No Hunger at all for the rest of the day, just disgust, discomfort, farts, nausea. This morning I was hoping to see a proper very bad shit. Yet nothing of this happened. That’s so weird how our bodyContinue reading “Saturday, 11 December 2021 | 10:18 AM”

ssooooo liberating. Friday evening, friends night! Gotta jump directly from office. Huge tird on the exit. Gotta rush. The boss got out. SOOOO LIBERATING. The night can now begin.

Eventually, it went through, utterly disappointing me. Well, isn’t the hype for pleasure, the pleasure itself, after all?

I feel it coming. I feel it inside. Every push I feel it closer and closer. Nevertheless, I feel like it’s huge and satisfying, and I am pushing it back inside, putting its pop off, postponing the pleasure.

Some morning, especially those when I oversleep, it’s difficult to have a poop. These days I sit and fart many farts, they’re squiddy moist.

It’s a turd. A turd. Can’t define it otherwise. It’s the common tird. Half-an-inch thick, 3-inch long.

After loads and loads of farts right next to my dear colleague, the time has come to reach the toilet and get over with it. The smell is divine. And I believe in Satan. Hell! What a shit! Lava.

Going out drinking on a Monday morning was a very nice idea! Right, a very nice idea… Now I’ll be stuck at the toilet, panting, for ages! While my nose turns green cos’ of my products terrible smell. Luckily I caught a cold 🤧

A little turd got out while taking a wee at work. Shit! I hate it when it floats!

It’s getting harder and harder to take a poop in the morning

A nice clean solid shit before going to bed

Nowww that’s what I call SHITTINGGGG! Yeeees Very blobby yet very solid! That’s GOLD! Yeeees Exciting

Took a shit twice today, I had no phone with me, there’s been lunch then, and a very romantic sex. I HAD LOADS OF FARTS TO DOOOOOO! Couldn’t though, there are moments when you simply can’t. Just had a loooooong soundful fart as soon as my gf went to the bathroom. Cool days

I was wondering when my body would have thrusted out the spicy chicken I ate last night, which deprived me of sleep, which I adored, which is now laying at the bottom of the toilet in the form of-Well, it actually has no shape whatsoever. It’s just a brown blob. The spiciness has now becomeContinue reading “Friday, 3 December 2021 | 01:57 PM”

Just shat. Now, my post on one hand, my arsehole on the other, cleansing

Taking shit means patience. My intestines needs at least thirty minutes to be emptied. Sometimes it can even take hours. In the morning everything is more difficult, since my whole body is still metaphorically laid in bed. Nevertheless, I start my day turd by turd. Now, this is a metaphor for life!

Last month of the year. Me, I feel like have nothing achieved. I only piled loads of shit. Loads of ideas, such as selling my shit in jars as unique pieces, creating a cryptocurrency for my SHYT, NFTs, creating a kamaSutra for shitting positions, new stickers for advertising my Blog. Nothing Done. Perhaps I hopeContinue reading “Wednesday, 1 December 2021 | 08:43 AM”