Author Archives: theshytird

Nnnoope

I haven’t given up on my dream to become a shitfluencer millionaire, so I keep shitting! Today, a little harder than yesterday, it comes without scent at all. I hope one day I could sell my shit to somebody

Sadly, another morning with nothing but air from my arse 😦

Still positive on the bad shit. I repeat, it’s the naughtier in weeks. I am crouching in pain! Well it is official, there’s clearly something going on with my intestines, I am dying in pain even if I’ve been almost fasting for an entire week!! Oh fuck me!

Pretty early for a piece of shit ah? Well not so much considering I woke myself up at 1:30AM… Btw this is the naughtier shit in weeks! It’s so creamy one could use it as a gourmet sauce!

I am fucking insomniac, Some weeks ago I’ve decided a new drastic strategy, no more dinner. For insomnia is not doing much by the moment, for my shit it’s just that I have no shit to do! There’s nothing inside me! I am empty and I feel so! Depressed repressed

Finally a few stones came out

No shit. 2-day streak, my biology is fucked up

No shit

How peculiar, it’s been at least a week since my shit stained the toilet paper when wiping off

I flushed down thrice. The turd is still floating mid-water. Fuck it.

Am sitting at a bar outside, drinking with friends. Suddenly reeking farts amass in my arse. Gotta get inside to expel ‘em. Even if outside it is fucking stinky! Now am in the toilet. Relieved. Oops, a turd got out! Uncorking the bottle of smell now the toilet is out of order.

Squiddy shitty brownie

Another one for the arse-killing-nuggets. It sank down immediately, it must weighted some 3-4kilos

And now a fist-shaped turd extrudes. It was as well as big as a fist. Ouch

Since I spontaneously woke up at 1:30 AM my body’s clock is completely fucked up and my arse simply don’t respond

Pretty smooth shit. My arse is wiped clean

Covid negative. End of quarantine. Japanese-Beazilian restaurant. Death of my intestines. Now I am both constipated and full of farts

Not so much to shit in this cold morning

The fourth one of the day, I guess 🙃

Another piece of shit

Curry for lunch and now, a good sounding splash.

Gross

With tiramisu as second breakfast, I needed a great shit, which I did. And now I am satisfied. 🥰

Pretty uncommon for me, six-hour sleep uninterrupted, then woke up floating mid-air, farts transmuted me into a baloon. I levitated towards the bathroom, had a proper shit. I can walk again now.

Another sticky little stinky sink down the hole

Finally comes newly-minced hamburgers. It’s shit now!

It’s six in the morning and I would much rather be asleep. But yesterday I had hamburgers for dinner and this clearly means I have to stay up trying to banish the devil from within my soul. Ain’t I sick? Some days I just hope to die soon

Not a proper shit yet

Face to face. Is it time for a shit? Yes it is