Author Archives: theshytird

Wednesday, 15 January 2020 | 11:49 PM At the end of the day this is just something physiological.

Wednesday, 15 January 2020 | 06:48 PM A speedy shat before going running. Just farts. Just fun. Here comes concrete stuff! Let’s go working out!

Wednesday, 15 January 2020 | 08:36 AM Yesterday I came home so late I had no time opening a parcel I received. Opening parcels is one of the most exciting, mysterious and fun activity a man of the present – such as we all are – could experience. I thought it was my Amazon orderContinue reading “Wednesday, 15 January 2020 | 08:36 AM”

Tuesday, 14 January 2020 | 10:05 PM Fuck! Sometimes it’s pretty tricky writing new posts. I gotta invent something new every time. It’s tough. Especially when you can’t live without having a shat three times a day!

Tuesday, 14 January 2020 | 05:16 PM Remember, if you make it at a friend’s loo just be kind and place some paper on the closet’s slope. If you’re lucky you won’t even get to clean! If you’re unlucky, well, if there’s no toilet paper, praise the lord.

Tuesday, 13 January 2020 | 10:31 PM Today I started running again. It’s such a pain in the neck when you’re into it, just giving your best but you feel The burden inside you- and it just wants to get out.

Monday, 13 January 2020 | 08:37 AM It is pretty difficult waking up on Mondays, but that’s something everybody knows… I’ll tell you something nobody knows: constipation is what makes a Monday unpleasant! But in the end, it doesn’t even matter: it gets out on its shyness.

Sunday, 12 January 2020 | 06:41 PM Sheeeet! I’ve been waiting for this all day! After a super hot dog at lunch and an all you can eat sushi at dinner yesterday, today I felt like double gravity was on me! How odd! Now I float in mid-air like a hot-air balloon

Sunday, 12 January 2020 | 03:18 AM I hate it when I just want to go to sleep, but I desperately need a shit. In the meanwhile my slimy tirds start to sing Michael Jackson’s Bad.

Saturday, 11 January 2020 | 06:39 PM Is humankind real? or are we just our own self-imagination? crap.

Saturday, 11 January 2020 | 11:57 AM Caco, ergo sum I simply think thoughts are more powerful when shitting.I reckon even Descartes used to produce his genius thoughts during his defecations.

Friday, 10 January 2020| 11:12 PM Well I emptied an entire bottle of red wine all by myself. I just arsecrafted an awl made of shit. It hurts. Still, I feel fulfilled in my hearth: I am happy.

Friday, 10 January 2020 | 10:42 AM Sprinkled reprise.

Friday, 10 January 2020 | 10:23 AM I feel lankier.

Friday, 10 January 2020 | 12:20 AM I’d better clear the pipes, otherwise it would jeopardise my sleep, and I’m pretty sick of it! Ow, such a soothing sound.

Thursday, 9 January 2020 | 08:40 AM Bombs Away! Better shout it before shitting than at war.

Wednesday, 8 January 2020 | 02:55 PM Lazy stones rolling out my arse, I am thinking I am entering in a new phase of my life. New Year’s Eve was more than a week ago, but I still feel 2020 is going to be a powerful year.

Tuesday, 7 January 2020 | 04:47 PM Yawn! There’s nothing better than a little poop after a 20-minute nap! But hard though…

Monday, 6 January 2020 | 04:33 PM Hell! Here I am again!Cheer up for this little guy here! He is so shy!

Monday, 6 January 2020 | 01:53 PM Just a sticky tird to leave before lunch.

Monday, 6 January 2020 | 11:43 AM I hate when I just got out from the shower but I gotta poop. Yes. My arse still dripping.

Sunday, 5 January 2020 | 03:30 PM Another powerful moment of thoughts.

Sunday, 5 January 2020 | 01:07 PM I need to reinstate my routine so bad! These holidays has been devastating. I did not gain any weight whatsoever, I even think I lose a kilo… You may think how lucky I am, yet this diarrhoea is nothing pleasing, let me assure you this.

Saturday, 4 January 2020 | 08:43 PM I am proud to announce I am pooping at my favourite pizzeria. I’ve been daydreaming about this moment for at least 10 years. Pretty huge poop , I dare say. I can enjoy my pizza now.

Saturday, 4 January 2020 | 11:53 AM Yuck! Inspired by Manzoni’s 1961 artwork Artist’s Shit, I’ve just done the worst thing ever. I photoshot my shit. Basically I photoshat. My shit’s a model now! It’s going to be famous!

Friday, 3 January 2020 | 09:46 AM Oh boy! I was waiting for this moment since I woke up. It was 5 o’clock in the morning, and I came home at 3 AM. Basically my stomach hurt so much I couldn’t sleep. I am sick of it! Well I am sick too. But really, IContinue reading “Friday, 3 January 2020 | 09:46 AM”

Thursday, 2 January 2020 | 09:35 PM All right, fuck, my phone is dying. I’m at my best friend birthday party at his house. It’s full of people and I’m high. I just discovered one of my mate’s girlfriend loves Harry Style, I am kinda obsessed with him since his last album came out. IContinue reading “Thursday, 2 January 2020 | 09:35 PM”

Thursday, 2 January 2019 | 10:13 AM Shots

Wednesday, 1 January 2020 | 04:35 PM Alcohol aftermaths are the worst.

Wednesday, 1 January 2020 | 02:47 PM The only way to recover from a hangover is this.