Author Archives: theshytird

These days are simply crazy, I am sleeping two maybe three hours a night, I have no time for thinking, nor barely have the time to have a shit. So well, yeah, I guess the morning is the best time! Here it is, a slimy piece of shit, I can proudly call a wrapped crap!Continue reading “Monday, 25 July 2022 | 07:43 AM”

Ah, so this morning we have something??

Just two turds Third shit of the day

I’m just going to record every shit I do during the day. Second.

This trip will be a hellfire, I won’t have a routine, I will be hard boiling because of the heat. I won’t be shitt- Well actually, I just took a crap! Niice!

Yeah, yeah, I know, it is. Yeah, it is another shit. Yeah

Yeah, why not, another shit is cool!

Finally arrived to the hotel. First things first: TAKING THIS FUCKING SHIT Killed it!

The trip goes on, and the crap piles up. Now on the bus, hope we arrive sooooooon

I am inside the toilet cabin. Will it be my first time shitting on a plane? I know, it’s weird for the king of shit not to have ever taken a crap on board, but, you know, I get constipated, must be the pressure effect, don’t know. Anyways, nope. Just farts for me 😦

Airplane mode switched on. Not just on devices, also on my bowels. As we get higher and higher up in the air, breaking layers of the atmosphere, my belly bloats and bloats. Unluckily, I had no shit this morning, hence even crap is expanding, as an obvious consequence, I am freeing little farts to myContinue reading “Friday, 22 July 2022 | 08:19 AM”

There’s nothing I can do, my body just doesn’t need a shit right now. It is what it is! Very frustrating, since I have a flight in two hours, and I just need to liberare myself… Uh, there’s pizza inside here, FYI!

Trying to have a shit at this time of the night is just impossibile. Even if I am still awake or already, it’s just foolish.

Pizza for lunch, make me ready for the launch

Right on time! I was sure the beer effect wouldn’t be keeping longer! Yes indeed! I felt something coming, but I waited. I was patient, just like a lion browsing around its prey. I wanted to delay the enjoyment, first I needed to finish tidying up my room, but once done, I had nothing leftContinue reading “Thursday, 21 July 2022 | 10:30 AM”

Weird. Yesterday I had loads of beers for lunch. My belly was calling me the whole evening, but this morning it exposes itself with just a stone. Mmh. Weird

I was sure about this. Another round another crap. This time with a little thrashing

Light brown-ish. Makes me home I am healthy. Yes. Ok. Yesterday I had shit three times, I expect it happening at least twice today.

You know horseshoes? This turd has exactly the same size, and the same shape. The very same colour, and the same hardness. It was very difficult to expel indeed. But it is nice to see that outside now, I shall hang it somewhere, it may bring luck!

I am casually sitting on the toilet, having a wee, when I felt I could push a little, you know, just to try… Something pop out! Such a surprising day!

The first turd was very stocky, and it made me stretch, the second one was simply normal and went through easily. The third one was… just a fart

Had rice with lentils for lunch. What am I doing now? Farting all around and taking a crap. Are these two things related? Yes.

I was just finishing editing my podcast when my bowels felt it. Probably engaged by the topics I was recording about, it produced a little turd, which I gently deployed inside my WC.

The beginning of my day is delayed. All right. The most important thing is down the toilet now. Good Job

I have the most annoying arse. My arse is an arsehole. I had just began watching Spider-man: no way home but it needed a shit. All right all right! DONE! Can we please resume watching it?

All in all it was just Another shit in the hole I miss those days shaped by sudden random diarrhoeas… do I?

Not working at all, staying home all day, watching TV shows on the couch, only eating shitty snacks, no lunch nor dinners. Shitty life, means shitty shit. C’mon, what the fuck, useless pieces of crap here. So dry… I’m not even eating fruits… duh

Too little has passed since my last poop. And yet, a crooked turd got out. Just a few centimetres long, but it is something!

Just got back home. ‘The sooner the better’, that’s what my arse was thinking in the last few hours. First thing I did as I opened the door, was hurrying to the loo, I had no time to turn on the lights. Now, I have been spreading my arsehole for minutes now, and it feltContinue reading “Saturday, 16 July 2022 | 02:09 AM”

I am not so familiar with those alien-themed video games, but I am sure there’s some kind of weapon, sone sort of big rod with a huge stone on top. I don’t remember clearly. Can’t see that in my mind, but I see that right before my very eyes. Its a huge huge turd, andContinue reading “Friday, 15 July 2022 | 07:55 AM”