Tuesday, 13 April 2021 | 10:26 AM

First things first. There’s a long rope made of poop in my toilet. It came from my arse. It is now silently entering in the foamy pool.

Sunday, 11 April 2021 | 08:55 PM

Just arrived back home after a 2-day sleepover. I ate too much. Now I shit for the third time in a day, and the amount of crap for each one is still much more than a single normal day shit. Great day.

Sunday, 11 April 2021 | 11:09 AM

Therefore, I sit here, on the white throne. Crap thrashing from my arse. Now the only thing I could think of is ‘I’m hungry!’, and while I entertain the idea of eating some doughnuts, I’m arse-crafting brownish tenders.