Sunday, 25 July 2021 | 05:39 PM

I spent the last couple of hours drinking litres and litres of water. I needed to clean my insides. During the same amount of time, I kept farting in turmoil, disgusting mayhem coming from my arse. I kept waiting and waiting for the water to take effect until...

Sunday, 25 July 2021 | 09:51 AM

Aaaaaaalll right this is going to hurt. I feel the devil inside me. Utter cream is getting down easily though. Nice and tidy, shit. Nice, a tidal of shit.

Friday, 23 July 2021 | 04:03 PM

As I was saying, i transferred the office in my toilet. Eventually, it happened for real, the pencil fell inside the toilet, squashing itself in turds. Fun. Let’s go back to writing. I’ve got a new ink to try!