Author Archives: theshytird

Thursday, 31 August 2023 | 09:40 AM

Woke up two hours before the alarm, my intestines hurting all around, but I managed to fall back asleep. Now I am on the toilet, and I wish I didn’t eat nor drink what I did yesterday. One beer, two Aperol spritz, one fried pizza, two bloody mary. My crap is crap

Tuesday, 29 August 2023 | 11:00 AM

There’s a logistics problem in my bathroom. My cat loves to destroy toilet paper, so we can’t keep it next to the toilet, instead we had to store it somewhere else, safely. You know, that place is so safe, I always forgot to take it before taking a shit… I always end up finishing withoutContinue reading “Tuesday, 29 August 2023 | 11:00 AM”

Monday, 28 August 2023 | 08:30 AM

This morning I have to stay home, gotta wait for the technician who will install my new wi-fi. That is a fact. Now, he could be arriving between 08:30 AM and 01:00 PM. Fuck, why does he have to be here two minutes after I started shitting? Hate it! Now gotta drop fast! I howContinue reading “Monday, 28 August 2023 | 08:30 AM”

Sunday, 27 August 2023 | 10:00 AM

I’m back home after a whole week spent out for business. These days have been demanding for my bowels… I ate at least a hamburger every day, plus more meat, as least veggies possible, and I slept for just few hours every night. Today is the first day I can take a shit with noContinue reading “Sunday, 27 August 2023 | 10:00 AM”

Friday, 25 August 2023 | 07:44 AM

Even if I promote to stay sit on the toilet for at least 30minutes a day, so you can rest, pause, thus facilitating your bowels to expel all the trash, sometimes I’d just like to empty it all at once, just like dustmen do with garbage. This morning it’s taking forever! Little piece by littleContinue reading “Friday, 25 August 2023 | 07:44 AM”

Saturday, 19 August 2023 | 09:27 AM

‘Let’s have a crap!’ That’s my expectation. Reality is I am a little constipated, my crap is hard and dry, I am still drowsy and I just want to sleep but my sunlight reached my tent, and is now hot as a sauna. Let’s have just a few turds…. Sad Crap 😦

Friday, 18 August 2023 | 10:34 AM

That haemorrhoid is still there, but shrinking, luckily. With this taken into account, I think I crossed the line of non-return. I’ve always taken shits squatting on the toilet as much as I could, until something got out. I believe this will just stay in the past. Now I’m scared! How can I push ifContinue reading “Friday, 18 August 2023 | 10:34 AM”

Tuesday, 15 August 2023 | 08:55 AM

First things first, some huge turds. Got it. This is my third day camping, third day on holiday, third day of fun, third day of tirds, coming from acohol. Just got another one out! Ain’t feel nice… In just ten minutes I squeezed myself out, and the toilet is now full. On the bottom someContinue reading “Tuesday, 15 August 2023 | 08:55 AM”

Sunday, 13 August 2023 | 09:10 AM

I’ve been sitting on the toilet for more than thirty minutes now, I think I deployed everything I needed. I am pretty satisfied. Today I am leaving for a trip of one week, the sole holiday I could spare this year, hence I want to be free – at least the very first day –Continue reading “Sunday, 13 August 2023 | 09:10 AM”

Wednesday, 9 August 2023 | 07:33 AM

There’s nothing better than waking up and rushing to the bathroom having diarrhoea. Uh, actually there is a lot better than this… Yet still, right now this is the only thing making me a little better… Yeah, that hamburger for dinner was a very special great idea!! It was surely delicious, giving me all theContinue reading “Wednesday, 9 August 2023 | 07:33 AM”