Monday, 4 November 2019 | 06:21 AM

Monday, 4 November 2019 | 06:21 AM

Days go by and my poop routine has been compromised.

It’s been a 2days trip wandering around for countryside festival: basically meat and red wine. As one can imagine this stuff requires hard sitting sessions, well I didn’t have time and space for that.

My tirds become shy when there comes friends around, a throne not yours, rapid pace trips.

This non-ordinary-smell shit was mild satisfactory. Accompanied by grandiose flatulences.

Thursday, 31 October 2019 | 07:06 AM

Thursday, 31 October 2019 | 07:06 AM

After several attempts – many minutes already sat on the white thingy – accompanied just by the sound of useless farts there it comes: the characteristic pile of morning shit.

It seems to be floating, but it is a lie! The bastard is just sticking to the china white wall brushing against the water surface, just like a crocodile waiting for its quarry.

The funny thing is: it fell. My insults might have made him feel ashamed…

Sunday, 27 October 2019 | 11:37 AM

Sunday, 27 October 2019 | 11:37 AM
The longest tird.

Yesterday party made me come back home at 6 in the morning. I ain’t used to that anymore.
Naturally I was still sleeping at my usual morning-shit-time. I think timing was the first thing bringing me to beat the records. Whilst whiskey and cola helped soften, sticken and compact the mass, the aging process was crucial, in fact, during the bonus time, the 40cm-long extrusion could ripen inside me.
As soon as I sat on the white throne the thing just popped out instantly, just like toothpaste out of its tube.

The tail had not yet been expelled completely, it reached the bottom of the pool and broke.
That was sad; and yet, to be remembered in years.