the Shy Tird

After a night spent bloating, leaving farts everywhere, at Christmas markets, at the bar, at the disco, inside the bedsheets, I can finally take a freaking shit!

Clearly rhythmic with farts!

Omg, I ate Lebanese food for lunch, and I still haven’t digested it.

I don’t understand, there must be something wrong. Also because I am farting all day long, yet still the only shit I am making is two useless tirds. ☹️

New day, new place. I am now in Luxembourg at my friend’s.

Every turd I am crafting contains only French dump, result of what I’ve been eating in Paris!

I hope my friend doesn’t get a fine for international chemical attack…

I’ve got everything packed, was about to leave, today’s my last day in Paris. But(t)!

Another brilliant stinky shit came.

Take second.

Yesterday’s dinner was vegan, but it was plenty of spices, and this hurts the day after.

My belly’s bloating with not-so-fresh air. Now I am trying to expel it, but it’s interrupted by a lot of pieces of art.

Yes, my very own art products.

Shit.

Morning shits are the best. Because my bowels are so lazy, still dreaming.

Not at all true, that’s my brain, my bowels instead are awake as hell. Ready to popopop!

Btw I dreams some friends of mine created a tornado of poo in an open field. Wtf

First shit in Paris at a pub.

Sill loose, still chill. Always good.

I’ll have another beer

New home, new hosts. I am now in Paris, having a loose shit at my friends. Luckily they’re already left for work!

Otherwise they would be knowing a pretty smelly house right now…

What really passionate me about public restrooms at airports, is that one can feel totally comfortable inside. Even if people eavesdrop your shit session, who cares? When one would ever see you again?

I am right here, in a public restroom at the airport, I can tell for sure that I feel completely comfortable, but I guess so does the guy next to me. I feel his breathing, and I guess he’s enjoying himself on his phone, I’ve just heard Netflix’s unmistakeable jingle.

Lol, I love travelling!

Another country, another crap.

This time I am at Gdansk airport waiting for my flight to Paris. Since the wait will be 3 hours, I guess I am plenty of time to take a very deep and freeing shit.

Yes indeed

Airport. Never had sleep. Let’s get my fight now!

Sweating. Luckily enough, I am early enough. I really need a huge shit!

Okokok, let’s make it, and then I’m assured to have a safe flight!

Idk why, but I’ve decided to go back to my friend’s restaurant for the 5th day in a row.

Perhaps not the best move, since he gives me a pint as I get in. My bowels can’t take it anymore…

What about now? Just woken up by the light from the window. Sure enough, I went to the toilet as the first thing. Now, I’ve just remembered that the last time I took a shit, was in a public restroom, and I noticed that water I flushed off was deep red. Even the toilet paper I used for wiping off was a little reddish. Oh shit, I thought!

What I also remembered is I drank a beetroot juice as late brunch. Must have been the dyer….

What I now hope, is to stop drinking this much, even if it was just because of some beetroot, I reckon it would be better not to start bleeding from my arsehole…

Btw, it is still deep red.

Aa I walked out the toilet, I discovered there’s blood in my faeces.

Ok. I told this ti my friend. He handed me a beer.

‘Cheers!’, he said

Right. Let’s enjoy the gig now

I don’t even know how possible it is, I need to shit anymore.

Oh well, must be the beers I’m drinking…

Btw, I am at a concert right now, I hope I could enjoy that, no shit attacks, pleaseeee!!

Hanging out with my friend in Copenhagen means I gotta drink as many beers as I offers.

And he does a lot.

So now, I am at his restaurant, having a pause from my laptop-work, gotta have a shit!

Sorry bout that mate, you’re going to clean it!

Well well, a 12-hour slumber. I fucking needed to recover. After that what could it be I need of?

The very first thing? Taking a huge shit!

It’s so urgent that my arse now burns. It needed a little warm up perhaps..

Ever since I opened this blog I looked forward to the next shit for writing something new.

This time I wish I could write more, to be fair, since I am eating more than I should, and everything is now clogging my insides!

My crap is so numerous recently, I shall seriously consider the idea of selling it

Unexpected shit at my friend’s pizzeria.

I guess I shall stop eating.

Second session. During this trip I am taking so much shit I can’t tell anymore when is real and when it is not.

Spoiler alert, all of them are real

Goooood mooorning Copenhagen! I salut you with a liquid movement of my bowels. A good turdy sturdy production!

Second shit on the go. Still at my friend’s restaurant

I am at my friend’s restaurant, I guess my hangovery shit strikes again. This time it was better to discharge before enjoying the pizza.

Anyways. WHAT THE FUCKING SMELL IS this????!?!!!!

I lost count of the times I spent on the toilet today.

Just another one, c’mon!!

Some more shit developed.

Uh! I love hangovers!

I don’t even know what to write. This hangover with just a couple hours sleep is terrible already. But it’s even worsened by spicy loose shit.

I don’t know where to start.

Long story short, we came back home only now. It was the longest pub crawling ever. i seriously doubt my friend’s mental health now that he lives here in Copenhagen.

Me? I am crazy, and I needed a shit long ago, but I could make it only now, home. After I dunno how much and what I ate or drank.

After that, I think imma go strict to bed

Basically I had to sleep at least two hours after lunch to recover the least energies to get over the day. I even had no energy to push out all of my trash piled inside me.

this time it floats in shapeless brown clouds. Creative!