the Shy Tird

Now I am ready to pop. Had breakfast with hot milk and cold pie. I hope the temperature contrast will make it work.

Yesterday, I ate a lot both for lunch and for dinner. My body should have spent the night transforming it into something useful for the planet, now I am waiting for it to be expelled.

But I guess I should have breakfast first…

My girlfriend still has stuff at her ex husband.

Today I am helping her moving her stuff.

I had diarrhoea. I am now shitting at her ex’s bathroom.

No more words needed

When I am this drowsy, I find it difficult to send connections to my bowels. My brain is disconnected to my body, it just want to think about stuff, deep thoughts, dreams. Philosophical matter.

But in the end, everything is just crap

Finally some product! It took a while today…

Even if I discharged before breakfast, there were just a few bits. I had a lot more coming.

So now I am at my toilet, cramping. It hurts.

How come we are the most advanced animal there is in the planet, and I still suffer while taking a poo, just because I ate some bread?

Frustrating…. but I guess that’s part of the evolution. My kind will get extinct if we keep sustaining on bread. The rest will thrive.

Normally I am having breakfast before having a shit. Today I just felt something moving towards the exit while having my first morning pee.

All right, I always listen to what my body needs!

Burstday. Yeah, it’s kinda like loose shit. Pretty normal. I had a lot of raw fish yesterday, after all.

Fine fine… let’s go on with my day, hoping it’ll pass soon

Just got back from sushi. Normally I am sleeping at this time of the day, but, I am here now. Yeas. Right from my kinda china desk.

Throne Closet.

Closer look, shithole.

Oops. I did it again. Couldn’t get to the office without first getting rid of the burden!

There’s no tiiiiiime!

But a turd gets out!

How naughty!!

Oh c’mon! Another shit?

I had this turds idling inside me.

They’re finally out!

This morning I am in a rush, nevertheless, I am trying to have a shit anyways.

I am sitting on the toilet, but I heard just a shy fart.

Not good.

I tried a new red wine for dinner.

Not good.

Crap is not good

Sunday is rebel day for my bowels. Probably they expect me to idle at home for the whole day, so they retain from exploiting in the morning, and they make it happen in the evening.

Yeah, great idea! The thing is, I am not idling at home all day! I was at the beach, and I even had a bath, it was so cool. But I was burdened.

Finally, now I am home, and I am relieved.

Mh, nah. No

There sure is some more somewhere

I am not satisfied

Fucking hell!!

I woke myself quite too early, I had a huge dinner yesterday, and I simply needed to expel my burden. Nevertheless, I’ve decided to have breakfast, set my bed and do stuff in my room, so I can finally have a great shit not thinking ti anything else…

Right when I was about to enter the bathroom, I saw my flatmate entering before me. OH SHIT!

I kept waiting, but I noticed even the kitchen’s door was closed. I was feeling cramps in my anus, and I didn’t feel like entering the kitchen to have any kind of social moment. But what if… my flatmate is in the kitchen, he cannot be in the bathroom as well!!

Oh great, the bathroom was free all the time!

I jumped inside, sat on my white throne, and WOOOSH. Fuck. Yeah. Liberating.

I am still here though, there is much to expel in here!

A kebab for dinner resets my bowels. This morning some fresh product for the world!

Nobody was waiting for it though uh?

Never postpone your shit. Don’t do it!

I am trying to have mine now, but my arsehole refuses to. It’s saying ‘you blocked me before? Now I am cross, I am clogging you now! i am not your servant!’

How rude…

How nice! All at once! Toad in the hole!

Uh! I forgot they stopped water supply for the whole morning at home…. what now?

A little turd just after dinner

This week I’ve decided I will behave. No alcohol, no gluten. Gotta heal my bowels.

Yesterday potatoes for lunch, risotto for dinner.

Morning product is dull and struggles getting out. Right, I’ll buy some apples..

Yesterday, my experience was so ugly, and complete, that I have nothing to shit today 😦

Empty 😦

Finally got home after a day spent climbing.

I had a lot of fun, I say ‘finally’ just because I was really looking forward to cleaning myself.

In the morning I had to take a shit in the wild. Fine. After that I felt a little relieved, I was usure about the future…

After some rice eaten for lunch, I felt it. What did not present itself before. Some serious loose shit. And I say serious because it was one of those moment you wish to be at home, in your own toilet.

There was no toilet. And I was crouched, trying to balance my muscles in order not to get sprayed by my reeky arsehole. Yes. Sprayed was the right word.

And that’s it

The best part was piling the second session’s product on top of the first one. A big pile of poop.

How cool…

I have some clear issue.

Yeah, dull! But also long….

This crap is taking forever!

Yesterday I had just a cup of milk for dinner.

Gotta say shitting is not that fun when I eat healthy food. It’s dull! Yeah, sure! I feel great! But I had no fun on the toilet this morning 😦

Even id my gf got out already, I am busy in her bathroom. Hope her flatmate won’t wake up yet…

Let some reek lay off first…

Woke up abruptly for a urge of peeing. Thing is my girlfriend was in the bathroom already, then I had to wait. I kept waiting and waiting and waiting, and my urge became even stronger. Oh crap! Literally! Shit was suddenly added to the menu. Now I am tangling, crouched, waiting for her to free the bathroom, so I can free myself!

Finally, FINALLY! She got out, she wanted a hug, but I couldn’t. I had no energy left, I just ran for the loo, ran for life.

What once was life, now is pure death, idling down the toilet, seething.

I feel much better now. I wash myself, so I can hug my love now!

My intention was to go have some training at the gym, but it’s late…. and my bowels had a surprise for me…