the Shy Tird

Give yourself some time on the toilet,

It’s wonderful what happens!

You shit!

Incredible uh?

Nice and easy shit in the morning. Everything perfect.

But one thing.

I keep forgetting toilet paper on the basin shelf, and I have to squat leg-open, crab-like, to the shelf, to grab the paper without spreading my dung on my cheeks.

Disgusting ain’t it? Just picture it!

One night out with friends for a party, and my bowels swell. Plenty of hard as hell shit.

Now, I’ve just got back home, and flushed hell down the toilet

It’s getting difficult to grow back a streak.

With this blog of mine, I probably reached an over 200-day streak, until I broke it. Shit, I love streaks, my streak on Duolingo is 1294 days.

But I can’t keep up with my shit streak, there’s always something getting in between, that makes me forget to renew my daily pledge: to take a shit reporting it. Sometimes it’s just constipation, some other times it is my stressful life, which also triggers constipation…

Anyway, let’s try to do this one more time. I take a shit and Immediately report it. Yeah, I can do it!

I must say, It’s easier on days such as this when my urge to shit pushes me further, I have to expel my girlfriend from the bathroom because I can’t survive longer…

This week has been harsh, been working for way too much time. Indeed, I am working all day also today.

All right, who cares?

Nobody but my bowels, which are cross, so angry they don’t allow me to take a freaking shit.

C’mon! I just need some shiiit!

A kebab for lunch, and home-made tandoori-like chicken for dinner.

In the morning, WIEIFFUSJAKEJFFJFJSJER

A carnage in the toilet

This morning my shit is as hard as a rock. More like a diamond actually, probably not as precious…

I should have been out already, at least half an hour ago, yet, I am still on the toilet, dripping shit…

Shit at noon. I was feeling bad right before it.

It was not a good Sunday until this moment, let’s say the best moment ist still due to come.

Right now I am still feeling mostly bad, in this reek environment.

Hope it won’t last long

I’ve probably emptied myself from the previous constipated days

Smell was utterly harmful

Seems like my body just healed, after a safe and sound sleep. 7-hour slumber and a nice turd sequence after breakfast!

Finally home, finally (some) shit.

It’s dark and stiff. It’s hard and I can’t sniff.

Btw now I feel better

Yesterday no shit at all, this morning no shit.

In the meanwhile I keep eating as always. Yesterday, I even had a pretty spicy dinner!

What now? Am I going to explode?

And what shall I do? I am at the office for the whole day!

It’s terrible, I had no shit today.

And the worst thing of all is, I spent too much time sitting on my toilet trying, and I am late

It’s certainly been a while since I had this kind of non-stop shit. I had some (much) wine yesterday, as I met a friend who lives abroad and he’s kind of a wine expert/enthusiast, and we also had some Japanese-fusion-ish food.

Well, I am now draining shit, and thing is I have to get out right now, but I can’t, as I am still here on the toilet, stuck, stuck.

Tuck, tuck, splash, fart

Ok, I guess I just had to wait… A LOT OF SHIT NOW.

I can leave home now…

Having a shit these days, is quite difficult.

I am taking too few veggies, and this is NOT GOOD!

Not much shit today