a new post every time I take a shit
This morning I had enough time, and I’ve decided to spend half an hour on the toilet.
I actually needed it! yesterday morning it was too late already, so this morning I’ve been gentle to my bowels.
They are indeed happy.
Happy bowels means a joyful life!
All right so, just to sum up, this morning I woke up late, I had to work and I couldn’t allow myself to take some minutes just for me and my bowels. Went to work, Then had some beers and a huge sandwich – remember, I am gluten intolerant – then went to the beach.
During these whole lot of activities I was pregnant of a huge disgusting child, and now I can finally give birth to him.
His name is SHIT
Even if it’s Sunday, I’ve got to work. I should have woke up one hour ago, and now I must RUUUN!
What really keeps me here is shit… not ready to go. C’mon arsehole! I’m late!!!
I guess yesterday I had so much shit there ain’t left none this morning 
This morning I’ve decided to drink a coffee after a very long time. I’ve never been a coffee drinker, but after a few I used to drink, years ago I found out it gives me anxiety, agitation, stress, so I quitted, no more coffee, I don’t even miss it, I am way too active without it, but I like the taste.
This morning, after three years, I drank a coffe. My boss really wanted to know what was I like on caffeine, since I told him why I don’t drink it, and we had a lot of work to do, so I did it, he offered me a coffee and I drank it.
Luckily it didn’t give me the other side effect I used to experience: abrupt diarrhoea.
As I would have expected I kept active the whole morning, the whole afternoon and the evening. I am still high on caffeine, and I couldn’t bear it, so I decided to smoke a joint. Now the THC kicked in, and the side effect the coffee didn’t give me, the spliff did.
As always, I’m writing you from the toilet.
Same old shit.
What gives you direction in life?
Shit. If I keep doing it, my life makes sense.
When it will be over, my life will too.
It’s easy.
Rumbling turds, but pretty fast.
My morning session is gone in a matter of seconds.
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
The only one who’s really judging you is yourself. Nobody Else.
From Tame Impala’s Alter Ego
I have a poop blog, I write a post every time I take a shit. People would judge? No, only me can, and I love it, so I keep doing it! Proudly.
I love mornings like this one, when I can wake up with no alarm, have a calm breakfast, and go to the bathroom right afterwards. It’s my perfect routine.
This way, my bowels fully wake up, so they’re ready to discharge the whole lot. Once they’ve done that, I wash myself and I am ready to start my day!
This is part of my healthy bowels program. I believe that a happy tummy means a joyful life
Milk and cereal always give me the right amount of energy to start the day.
I am ready to go!!!
But also, give me the right push for ending my morning poop!
I am Ready to goooo!!!
I should have had breakfast before trying to have a shit today. See you back in some minutes!
Have you ever been camping?
I practice amateur sport climbing and I go camping almost every weekend. Usually we leave on Saturday, we camp, and then go climbing on Sunday morning.
Camping is real fun, it makes me feel mor in contact with nature, I can turn off my technological appliances and just enjoy my own self, be animals again. The camping experience is plenty of cool features, such as start a fire and cook raw meat on top of it, sleeping with natural sound in the background, waking up with the real sunlight, instead of artificial lights, and more.
But it is also full of downsides. For instance, the last weekend I couldn’t join my group camping, my girlfriend told me she almost didn’t sleep because she got bullied by cows… they circled around her tent, grazing in the middle of the night, keeping her awake with their bells. If her slumber was not bad enough already, she definitely ended up sleepless when a real bull went grazing right underneath her tent, moving her mat with her on top with his giant nose. She was frightened, moon light projected ita huge face on the tent, with its giant horns scaring her to death.
Apart from that camping is a lot of fun, especially for me, I wake up, have some breakfast, then straightly go find the best spot to crouch and have a shit. Love it.
I just hope I don’t have diarrhoea…
I drank a lot of wine yesterday, so I expect fireworks from my arse in some minutes, bur first, let’s have some breakfast!
Few preliminary turds deployed
International Labour Day, me and my girlfriend decided to have a barbecue in the wild. I am now taking a shit, but I feel I can’t produce it all. I guess have some surprises later on…
When do you feel most productive?
You know those moment when you just have to take a lot of poop and can’t help but staying on the toilet for dozens of minutes?
That’s when I feel the most productive!
Random droppings out of my arsehole.
I mean random just because I was expecting something more consistent.
I ate pizza yesterday, again, two days in a row, so I thought I would have ended up cramping, but instead, it is a fairly normal Sunday morning.
I’m happy
What are your favorite emojis?
💩🚽
Accuracy is everything for me, and that’s why I’m reporting the second shit of the morning, just some minutes after the first. Been sitting here ages!
I was about to get in the shower, but I was blocked by another diarrhoea attack! Still painful. I just wanted to deal with some stuff on my laptop this morning, but it seems like I’m impeded
Yesterday I had pizza for dinner, and I knew it! This morning I still haven’t completely digested it, and I feel centralised abdomen pain.
I know, I shouldn’t be eating that, I am gluten intolerant, and I got IBS, but how can I live without such joy?
The real question is, can I survive in this environment? Where I suffer, sweating, bearing bowels’ pain, having random diarrhoeas, somedays constipation, and stressful farts scanning my life.
Idk, but I haven’t even had breakfast this morning, straight to the toilet.
My weekend has begun!
What topics do you like to discuss?
I love talking about crap, how much time one spends on the toilet, what kind of shit do they do, color, smell…
Pretty much everything
I farted through the crowd, on the road from the office to my place.
Now I am taking another shit. Not that much, just a few turds. Fine enough.
My weekend starts here.
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?
About ten minutes ago.
I took a shit at the office, my boss was out for a coffee, and I was expecting diarrhoea and deafening sounds.
I was really scared for what was about to happen, but in the end everything went well, no diarrhoea, my boss is still out, and I opened the window, no smell left.
Mission accomplished!
In the end I had to take a shit at the office…
Luckily I had my fresh wipes always with me!
Hoping for some shit.
Nope.
Constipation this morning
The thing is, this morning is quite too early, but I just gotta go to work.
I’d need to expel all the piled poop, but my bowels are still sleeping….
Just a turd got out. Now, I hope I won’r have problems today
I thought I would have ended up suffering this very poop session, since I had a pizza for lunch, but it didn’t happen.
Probably I found the pizzeria that suits me the most! Am I dreaming? Only time will tell. Let’s wait for the fart response.
Under 10 farts during the rest of the day means I found it,
Over 10 means I gotta keep looking 😦
Smooth loose shit as the second session of the day
What makes you nervous?
Most of all, when I am sitting on the toilet, I feel shit inside me, but somehow I can’t expel it.
This brings me a lot of stress, because then I have to do stuff, meet people, stay indoor, and I have to keep my stupid farts, generating more stress!!
Back on my Squatty Potty, I am trying to understand if it actually easies my shats.
This morning’s poop is consistent, yesterday I had a burger for lunch, and just a beer for dinner, I already knew my bowels would have disapproved it, so it is the perfect moment to try it out!
At the moment I gotta admit I find the get out a little easier, I mean, right the moment of expulsion. Less contracted.
Nice. I’ll meep updated
Just finished working. Today I had to keep up some underdeveloped stuff.
You know what was overdeveloped instead?
The shit I’m taking now. I should have taken it at least three hours ago, but I couldn’t. Had to finish.
So now these turds are enormous, but I am safe, they’re right where they belong now, my toilet.
the Shy Tird 