Tuesday, 12 October 2021 | 07:34 AM

Well well well, here we go again. I had some beers and I slept less than I firmly need to get through with my day. My belly’s weighted, my shit is still inside. I am constipated.

There’s this friend of mine who’s getting abroad, one year in Peru. Very nice indeed! Whatever was the reason to drink though, even if the nobler one, I have to cope with the fact that I simply cannot afford it. My body doesn’t take it. I shall really stop drinking, even if it’s unfair. Why can people have fun and I cannot?!

I opened this blog to tell about my shit habits, not my dull life! I would rather tell my shit it’s staining all over my toilet now! I want a normal life!

End of this stupid outburst.

Friday, 8 October 2021 | 01:10 PM

I thought what I experienced this morning was enough. I could not be more wrong.

I was working smoothly when a call from within reached me abruptly. I am now defecating what seems like lava, at my office toilet, which has no windows, just an old under-performing vent. 😐

In the meanwhile, my bowels feel more tangled than wires behind TVs. Oh, and it hurts!

Friday, 8 October 2021 | 05:40 AM

It is way too early to be awake already. Here’s what’s happened.

There’s this friend of mine who raps, he’s been telling me he does ever since I knew him. Whole these years I never happened to have listened to him. Yesterday he made kind of a debut with his crossover band, Thursday is not exactly the best day for a gig but I simply couldn’t miss his show.

So I went to the gym, I got out and I had a kebab, I got to the party and a friend of mine handed me a zoot, cool. Yes, it was a bit cool. I was freezing my arse off, I wasn’t prepared for such a strong wind. BTW, while smoking I felt my belly hurting, ‘oh shit, it’s coming!’. I successfully tried to make it pass. Then I kept drinking my three beers.

It was all very nice. There was even a mosh-pit, which I sling myself into every time possible. I slept bitterly, waking up every two hours for a wee, then at 5 o’clock my belly couldn’t procrastinate over, and here I am, painfully piling crap inside my toilet.

Painfully. It hurts. Everybody’s sleeping still, I can’t thrash things around me, not even yell in pain. It does have to stay inside me, pain at least! Shit is very much outside. Very much indeed, it’s so abundant it loaded my toilet above the water.

That said, Let the weekend begin!

Thursday, 7 October 2021 | 04:54 PM

I’ve got to say what’s just happened doesn’t happen very often. It never occurred before to me indeed.

I was about to leave the office when I realised I might have needed a shit, so I sat on the toilet. I stretched for a while, but nothing seemed to get out apart from some random air. Well, after ten minutes I bailed.

What was utter surprise it’s the little turd I saw floating mid-water once I turned around to flush it.

It made my day