a new post every time I take a shit
Yesterday I prepared chicken curry at my best friend. We were amazed by the wonderful flavour. He has this super spicy curry paste, and we stir it in all along. Delicious.
Now the downsides: all the spiciness has now become itchiness, and my arsehole burns.
How do you balance work and home life?
I work from my toilet.
I have a perfectly balanced life.
During this ending week I’ve been at my friends, it was a very ling time not seeing each other, and I was so happy I just didn’t care what I ate or drank.
The result is I am now plenty of shit, but constipated. I mean, I pumped a few turds, but that’s the only thing.I
am scared of going back home…. perhaps my girlfriend will die out of toxic exhalation.
Sorry 😦
A single dropping as Friday evening begins.
A little turd on the go
What’s the oldest things you’re wearing today?
My face.
It’s hard. It’s hard in the morning. It’s hard in the morning to take a shit.
Especially when I spent the last few days not caring what to eat, certainly not a single fruit or veggy.
Nice, but it’s Friday, so the condition can’t do but worsen
Yesterday I had no shit at all. Gluten abuse turned out constipation. This morning it switched into loose mode.
Nice!
Are you a leader or a follower?
I am certainly a leader. I’m trustworthy and I lead without being bossy. I am the leader of my shit kingdom! I win while I loose shit.
Ouch.
I am in Bologna for a few days, host at my friend’s. I don’t know if it’s ‘coz this ain’t my toilet, or because I ate pizza for dinner, but ain’t no shit this morning here!
Everything is still hidden inside my bowels. FUCK. I mean, it hurts! 😦
Let’s wait patiently until something happens!
List your top 5 favorite fruits.
5. Figs. Just try and eat ten figs straight from the tree in mid-summer. You won’t regret it, but you’ll be light as a feather afterwards!
4. Orange. You gotta stay strong and healthy for being able to push as hard as possible!
3. Lemon. Like orange, but I prefer it. And it’s pretty useful to be abused during hateful diarrhoeas!
2. Kiwi. Overall, the best poop creator. Nice acid flavour
1. Apple. Fibres and sugar, for a great consistency. An apple a day leaves the doctor away! And gets the toilet on time!
As it was expected, I am taking a shit at the airport. There’s no safe flight for me if I don’t take a poo before departure.
Thing now is, gate closes in ten minutes, and I am still sitting here waiting for the last turd!
Will I make it on time?
Some luck. I deployed some turds right before getting out.
Let’s flyyyyy! ✈️
This morning I woke up a little before usual, 5:30AM. I have a flight to catch!
The problem is, as always, I’d need to be more awake in order for my bowels to do their job…
Instead am here, idling, wasting time on my toilet. I am sure it’s due to come, SHIT!
Just a turdy after lunchy
My lunch break
I recently moved to s new house, it is the most silent home I’ve ever been, there’s no roads nearby, only open fields. Birds sing in the morning, cats stepping at the door, the nature right in front of us.
Yesterday we planted some vegetable garden in our little ground-floor-balcony, which entrance is direct from the bathroom.
Taking a shit with such a view is awesome
Yesterday I had dinner at 10:30 PM, it was really too late for that fish specialty my girlfriend’s great auntie prepared for us, too late for such a heavy meal.
In fact, I had nightmares the whole night, and now I am deploying what’s left of those shitty dreams I had. They also smell a lot.
Monday starts greatly….
I was calmly taking my morning shit, when my girlfriend shouted I NEEED IT NOW!
She’s lactose intollerant….
Such a shitty great family, we are!
What does freedom mean to you?
To shit outdoor
I am in the middle of lunch with my girlfriend and my parents. It is the first time they meet.
I shall be there, supporting my girlfriend, she is a little nervous of this precious moment, how can I blame her?
Instead, I had to rush to the bathroom, why on earth didn’t I stop my mom when she told me show would have prepared Mexican food?
I am castaway in the poop seea
First time on a new toilet!
I am moving in a new house, everything is yet to be adjusted, get tidier, cleaned, but an official move begins with the first official shit session on the new toilet.
And yeah, I am proud to announce I am taking a shit now, right from my new throne! Hail to the king of shit! Hail to the new palace!
Cheers! A full full-filling session! I filled the toilet up to the brim.
What public figure do you disagree with the most?
Donald Crap
Luckily I am home-working today, I spent the last three hours farting loudly, and now I just need a shit.
Uhm… I am not feeling really good…..
Eventually I managed to exit from the bathroom, I had breakfast, yes, and pretty suddenly I just had to enter back in.
Again, I am writing from my toilet. I don’t even understand what I ate exactly to get this kind of perturbation… dunno, luckily I am home-working today, and the toilet is right next to my workstation 😎
The wine I bought for dinner was really good, but apparently it doesn’t matter how good something is, if it’s not natural, I feel the aftermath.
I woke up this morning with a mild headache, and a superfast need for a shit. I’d really like to have breakfast with my girlfriend first, but I am stuck here, like always, on the toilet.
What is your career plan?
Phase 0. Founded my blog. A simple format, a post every time I take a shit.
Been doing this for almost four years now, but I gotta grow my community! I also have to diversify. That’s why, for instance, I am doing something else on my instagram, poop-tools reviews, fun poop facts, Healthy Bowels advices, random stuff. But I am certainly not done! I tried a podcast, and some graphic design diffusion, but the path is yet too short, the road is uncertain, and it is exciting.
I don’t know yet what will the next step be, I actually have some secret ideas, but I want to become THE shitblogger, THE shit-fluencer. A brilliant shitty career.
Peace.
What was the last live performance you saw?
Some days ago, when I was taking a shit in front of a mirror.
I guess I’m not the only one looking at what my poop looks like right after having it done.
I just did this very thing, and everything seems firm, healthy. It’s quite necessary to understand ourselves, to look after pur health. This is the way.
From great poop comes great responsibility
This morning, shitting is been easier. Must be because I drank no alcohol yesterday, ate no bad stuff, only be a good boy.
My bowels are happy., and my day can now begin.
What are your favorite brands and why?
Since I have a poop blog I must report what my favourite makers are.
Kleenex is my top one, cleaning paper, tissues, wipes, simply the best, trustworthy brand I rely on.
Followed by Squatty Potty, which I discovered only recently. I think they do an accurate job designing poop stools.
With a Squatty Potty, and some Kleenex, you’re sure to survive to whatever shit sttack!
the Shy Tird 