It was a delicious lunch.

My friends are on the sofa playing boardgames with my girlfriend.

I am on the toilet harvesting some shit. .-.

-Good morning my arse.

-💩

-I’m happy to see you too

It’s been a long and annoying night. Basically my metabolism simply stops if I don’t expertise or don’t any sport. That is the reason why my bowels self-fills with gas – a lot of gas – and my shit almost weight the very same as what I eat, my body is absorbing nothing at all.

Yesterday I had to celebrate with my best friend, we went to very good sushi, and we ended up eating more than we felt full.

Long story short, I haven’t slept, I’m full of crap, and my body is too weak to shit.

I spent the night waiting for the gas to get out. Just a few whistly farts got out, now a little extruded turd. I feel some more air inside me.

Uh! Look! The tird was a mousse! Lot of embedded gas! Now everything makes sense… let’s keep shitting and move on

Arsecrafting ethereal stuff

Farts

Did I say it was comfortable to have a shit as soon as I sit on the toilet?

Well I guess it was!

Much less comfortable it is to discover I still have a shitload of shit to shit, shit

Now the can is filled with it.

You know, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit in that very same moment is something very comfortable.

Even though I’m not even using my own crap as clay to shape some God statue to worship

I guess it’s time for my evening shit. I was looking forward to it for ages! And now everything I have is just a useless single turd?

Uh no… Here’s it’s twin!

Both useless tho

All right all right. Been sitting here for half an hour now, and I only count four tirds. Where’s all the rest???

Struggling a bit too much for some crap. Nothing nothing for fifteen minutes, then just a few crumbles

That’s a real blue monday 🙁

Et voilà la SHIT!

To be fair, I thought I was going to exploit more, after all yesterday I had no shit at all

At the end of the day I had no shit whatsoever 🙁

Saturday began with some DIY. Some physical work, movements, and stuff, made my body realise I had no shit at all.

I amused my girlfriend, who helped me thoroughly during the job, with LOADS OF FAARTS!

Nice. So nice. So now I am sitting here on the toilet but no shit gets out 🙁

Btw, every time my mom cooks Mexican tortillas, I end up shouting shitting in pain.

They’re actually really good, when one’s eating them, the day after though, you wish you never ate ‘em!

Gotta admit I am deeply sad for what Russia is doing right now.

I keep shitting, but instead I would very much rather doing it on top of his head.

Today it is especially sneaky