the Shy Tird

Monday, 23 March 2020 | 09:00 PM

I just discovered multiplayer online escape rooms on steam. This is the end.

Monday, 23 March 2020 | 09:57 AM

I recently created my official instagram account, now I’m starting to have some feedback:

I’m chatting with some random guy asking me why did I even start in the first place… LEGIT!

I am so excited!

Sunday, 22 March 2020 | 11:03 PM

Last shat of the day.

But it was the first as well!

Shut up!

PLUP

Sunday, 22 March 2020 |11:27 AM

I’m sitting here on my toilet thinking, it’s bad what is now happening all over the world.

Even my great hero of all times Tom Hanks got infected! This is harsh…

I’ll write him a letter! Hold on Tom! Don’t stop being this cheerful!

Friday, 20 March 2020 | 11:38 PM

I’ve been sitting on the toilet for like 5 minutes now! I’ve been having this tird peeking out my arse…. uh! It just detached! YAY!

Friday, 20 March 2020 | 09:42 AM

Day by day, I am more and more convinced of the fact that this quarantine is making me lose control of my sphincter.

I’m having too many sessions!

Friday, 20 March 2020 | 08:14 AM

‘I love the smell of napalm in the morning’

Thursday, 19 March 2020 | 07:55 PM

Even if I turned to a gluten-free diet, my arse burns.

Yet, I feel relieved. Self-accomplished. 😌

Thursday, 19 March 2020 | 03:23 PM

Lunch: Potatoes potatoes potatoes broccoli potatoes cheese potatoes.

Two hours later: 💩

Thursday, 19 March 2020 | 10:01 AM

The combination of sitting here and listening to Fontaines DC’s Big, reminds me of being a child.

I used to sit on the toilet with my cheeks on the potty training seat, my legs couldn’t reach the floor – not yet -, and I used to think ‘I never want to grow up! I experience so much freedom in taking a poo with my legs all stretched out!’

Such a mature thought! Isn’t it?

Wednesday, 18 March 2020 | 08:07 PM

Working from home means I can shit as many times as I want.

Wednesday, 18 March 2020 | 05:49 PM

During this hard times, better get going…

Better hard shitting!

Wednesday, 18 March 2020 | 01:14 PM

One single shot … could kill them all!

Wednesday, 18 March 2020 | 10:56 AM

Stuck in a brick-and-mortar cage, I found myself luckier than those tirds, being flushed down the sewer.

Tuesday, 17 March 2020 | 11:09 AM

I feel like these home-times are more relaxed.

My anus is pleased for that!

Tuesday, 17 March 2020 | 09:42 AM

Morning shit during quarantine is kind of special: I usually rush for it, then leave it there, work and life tearing us apart…

Luckily not going out anymore I can stay close to my poo! Love it! It loves me back. I feel it!

Monday, 16 March 2020 | 09:02 AM

Tonight what I dreamt was weird, I mean weirder than usual!

I kinda tested a new kind of vaccine for COVID-19. I was doing that by taking a fresh tird from a toilet (I did it bare-handed) – it had just been shat by an infected patient.

Now, though I haven’t found a cure, I find a bit concerning that the entire dream felt completely natural. Even grabbing that piece of crap…

Sunday, 15 March 2020 | 03:14 PM

Herring are forage fish.

Considered food since at least 3000 BC, it is served numerous ways, and many recipes are used: eaten raw, pickled, and many others.

I prefer them when fermented. They are so flavory!

Additionally, being blue fish, it is plenty of Omega-3 which is good for your health!

Unluckily, as a life-saver, it may also cause some repentine diarrhea, which is one of the most common adverse effects of fish oil, alongside other digestive symptoms such as flatulence.

Oh, Hello life!

Sunday, 15 March 2020 | 09:50 AM

Let’s begin this impending from-home day with a solid shit!

Saturday, 14 March 2020 | 09:25 PM

Yeah, why not body?

Let’s shit another time today!!

Saturday, 14 March 2020 | 06:26 PM

Still thinking I shit too much…

I’d better… let it goo.. LET IT GOOOO!!

Saturday, 14 March 2020 | 03:56 PM

Ain’t nothing is real. Shit is.

Saturday, 14 March 2020 | 09:48 AM

The world’s condition might look bleak, but I trust in humankind. It behoves everybody to stay home and defeat this bloody virus!

About that: I created a funny (☝🏼but smart) graphic art to encourage people to stay home.

Friday, 13 March 2020 | 08:53 PM

Being home 24h-a-day means taking a poo quite too many times a day.

Quarantined shit.

Friday, 13 March 2020 | 02:52 PM

Shit’s rushing out briskly

Friday, 13 March 2020 | 10:08 AM

A big acorn has just been ejected by my arse. I reckon Chip ‘n’ Dale would find it worth collecting it!

Uh! Here’s another one! I should consider planting ‘em…🤔

Thursday, 12 March 2020 | 11:42 PM

Apart from the fact you can literally see nobody, staying home in order to tackle coronavirus is not that bad…

I could Netflix Party with my girlfriend I cannot see because I’m locked-down in my house…

…and, In the meanwhile I can have a pretty chill shat without her knowing that, she won’t complain about the smell for sure!

Thursday, 12 March 2020 | 07:48 PM

Blimey! I spent the whole day designing graphics for my shitty website!

I was so focused I ignored my bowels needs for hours.

☝🏼BUT(T) everything went good eventually. SMOOTH!

Thursday, 12 March 2020 | 02:20 PM

Tales of pooping during Covid-19 times.

Shit still smells.

Wednesday, 11 March 2020 | 10:12 AM

Even if coronavirus is rapidly spreading from China to Italy soon to all-over-the-world, my today’s shat is a happy shat!
My idea of a Kama Sutra for poop is on!

I found out somebody ten years ago went further to the future and copy my idea publishing a book already, but I DO NOT CARE!

My book will be different, I won’t copy. Everything will be original! All the shats will be MORE SATISFYING!

Let’s work on it then!