I frankly don’t know how to express my joy.
It is the first time in a very long while I am taking the classical shit.
It’s composed of three distinct tirds. They are all very compact, twisted just a little, dark brown, in between of smoothness and roughness, just the right amount of lumps.
If I had a photographic studio I’d frame the picture of the year. It is simply too much. Too much beauty before my very eyes. I am moved. I start crying.
…or just maybe… I am crying because of its burning smell.
Tirds like chalk
They wrote something on the slope of my WC.
It’s ‘fuck you’
Last week, I achieved my week-day sobriety, balanced by some beers both on Saturday and Sunday.
Nice. I feel more powerful now.
Or at least will once I deployed all the rubbish still inside me.
Yesterday I randomised my nutrition.
Normal breakfast (guaranteed), then I ate two carrots and an apple from 10AM to 5PM
At 5PM I started feeling a bit hungry, so I ate a red steak. 3 beers after that, and some pizza for dinner (9PM).
My arse doesn’t understand what happened. Indeed it just 2-minute farts, and 1-kg turd, and repeat.
Yesterday I had to skip dinner. I bough some roasted potatoes on my launch brake and I finished processing ‘em at 11:00PM.
Now everything tat went in, must come out!
But it’s a massacre.
Not an international phenomenon yet. Yet, I consider myself The shitfluencer.
And the funny thing is my shit is nothing different from the others’
Almost forgetting to have a writing here!
I started a new job this week. Until I set myself up, I won’t have regular shits, I tend to forget to write about them, I am sleeping a lot.
Btw, the one lying at the bottom of my toilet cannot be defined as a tird. It has no shape, it sticked on my arse’s skin, it’s pale brown.
At least my belly doesn’t hurt! …wait a minute…😖
I was just having a little pee and a huge turd got out!🤯
First of all, I need breakfast, then I need it to sediment inside me.
After up to twenty minutes I am ready to expel.
Here I am consecrate this new day with a resounding shat!