Author Archives: theshytird

A new week begins. What’s going to happen? Will I be able not to drink any alchool? These questions are very related to my stinky crap laying in the toilet pool. Well, let’s see… My anus is ready!

Yesterday was a delightful day for climbing! So I went out early in the morning… but I could go further than 400 meters because I had to come back home, I forgot something. What I forgot was I drank 2 litres of beer the day before, so I had another diarrhoea attack. It’s a pityContinue reading “Sunday, 14 March 2021 | 10:37 AM”

Yesterday I had something like five pints of beer. Now I’d like to be rewarded five points to gryffindor because of the great magic that just got out of my body. I mean, it’s effect can’t be caused by anything apart from a great spell of magic! It hurts, it’s stingy, it’s broad! …and it’sContinue reading “Saturday, 13 March 2021 | 07:36 AM”

My girlfriend told me funny stories about her shit. I think she’s going to join me on this blog, as an occasiona co-author. Nobody cares, and my arse is booming. The air gaping my tirds is more compressed than soft air guns

I should have taken my crap earlier. I hold it too long, now I am going to miss it 😦 I’m too attached 😥

All right, another dull shit. It’s going to be a dull post. That’s the kind of post I gotta right just because I have to keep up my streak. Plenty of love for my crap.

As soon as my cheeks spread on the toilet, a long, glum Tird got out of me. Yesterday was dull. Today is dull. Tomorrow will be a dull day. That’s life though! Some weeks are so uneventful, some others are full of crap! I’m hoping for a rainy day 💭

Rush in the bash

All right this is a terrible post. Have you ever made a dough? Some dough of any kind, flour, water, eggs. Well, I have. Seems like I could be eating arse-made pasta for lunch…

I had to postpone my morning shit. Now a huge snake pf shit is clogging my toilet.

All in all it was Just a shit in the loo Actually, more than that. Since it makes my bum explode

On the phone with my girlfriend, my shit really smells, me trying not to make bas noises. Tho’ who cares?

A little sausage made of poop

I am sitting on the toilet sharing the loo with my girlfriend. It feels weird…. Anyhow, I managed to let something out. So proud of my relationship 😌

An unexpected tird just came abruptly out

I need to find a name for this kind of shit. It looks like lava, it burns when expelled, it smells rancid. What shall its name be? 🤔 And it also stains my toilet, before hiding in the pool… Volcano could be appropriate, but I shall continuing researching for a more appropriate name.

I had to postpone my morning chat until now. My computer doesn’t work. And I am panicking.

I gotta recover from an entire week of vacation, and I do it in my best way, s(h)itting on my toilet, with my laptop on my lap. It’s not that easy though. I must remember to wipe my arse with the one hand I am not using for my trackpad.

Being me is not easy at all. What I just dropped inside my toilet is 5 inches long at least. It originates from a great journey. Everything began yesterday, lunchtime. Home-made pizza. It made me fart for the rest of the day, and the night. And the -well- NOW! I slept less than 5 hours,Continue reading “Sunday, 28 February 2021 | 06:45 AM”

Shitting something interesting every day is a bit harsh. But my crap doesn’t care. It keeps crawling inside-out me. Btw Even I can’t understand what am I talking about. Still, it’s more difficult to catch what my arse is trying to tell me.

This week is been sort of overwhelming, still my crap gets easily squeezed out of me.

Today I’ve been very naughty. Skipped job, went climbing, much beer. Now some shit. ‘Some’… Well, can’t say I told the real truth. It’s more than some. It’s all I ate (and drank) in two days. Catastrophe.

Smooth. I can’t tell more details.

Today’s a great day. My best friend graduates in medicine. Nice. I really hope I’m going to shit in his bathroom, since I had no time to do it properly this morning. Just a few random droplets got out. Can’t be the whole thing!

Hence, here I am, on the usual white throne. Now that I am focusing on my podcast, I am starting to write the post in order to be read. A slight change is good. What could never change is the roughness of my crap, the brown stuff getting out of me is jagged today!

I am not writing from my usual spot – not yet -, I am still laying on my sofa. I just want to say a couple of things. First, my first words in the morning at farts, though they never come from my mouth. Secondly, I am going to make a weekly podcast out ofContinue reading “Tuesday, 23 February 2021 | 08:37 AM”

I am sitting here waiting for some serious matter to come. Nope. Two hours wasted

Seldom my shit reflects my mood. This time I am deeply thoughtful (in a negative way), while my crap has a strong sour smell, and it’s squashy. I take shit seriously, as a reminder of my life.

Guys, this tird was freaking huge. really. It was awesome. I nearly came.

I am not sure, but I believe my morning floating droplets are saying that’s a good day for farting