Author Archives: theshytird

I had the first dose of Pfizer vaccine. Nice. I needed a shit during the whole process. But I’m still constipated because of my circumcision. My body has just decided not to care anymore. Let’s shit. Fine.

A single Nugget

I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT! IT GOT OUT!

All righty. I prepared myself for the war today. I ate pasta, pizza, kebab in the last few days. Had no shit whatsoever yet. So I just had a huge cup of ginger tea. It should stimulate me. I deadly hope so. I’ve been sitting on the toilet for twenty minutes now. Nothing yet. Let’sContinue reading “Saturday, 12 June 2021 | 01:16 PM”

The day is reaching the end, and I still can’t shit. I AIN’T SHIT NO SHIT

Now, I ate a kebab for lunch. C’moon! Let me expeeeeeeeeel!

Another day spent with anything getting out of me. I am sitting on the white throne, I am trying… Nothing. And some cramps are starting to present in my belly

Even today, no shit happened to exit. The problem is I am dying in pain, and I can’t afford to push my anus at the moment.

I am worried. I felt no urge to have a shit today. None at all.

I’ve never thought I would have ended up reporting something like this when I first opened this blog. This morning I had my circumcision. The surgery itself hasn’t been painful. Holding my farts during the whole operation was tough, though. I now need two weeks to recover, but – I’m thinking – in the meanwhile,Continue reading “Tuesday, 8 June 2021 | 07:12 PM”

I am at the clinic waiting for a surgery. Apart from the anxiety, I desperately need a shit. Fuck fuck fuck, I am scared of exploding right in the middle of the operation. It would be pretty cringy

Arguably the most pathetic shit ever. It doesn’t even fly.

The day passed by, why haven’t I taken a shit today?! An exclamation point has just appeared inside my toilet. It is brown. Trust me. It’s my gut expressing its feelings through crap. ❗️

There’s still time to flush a pretty tird tonight

Shitty slowly emitting. Slowly falling. Slowly sinking.

Eruption

Artwork in white! Yes! The day starts great! But it smells VERY badly. Cool.

Yesterday I ate only some basmati rice with carrots. Nothing else. My anus is now dry as the desert. Famine on it. I am not sure if any tird got out from me. 🧐

I had a huge dinner and got back at 3:30AM I haven’t had such a night in a very loooong time. My anus now burns. He’s not used to it.

Brbrbrbrbr is the sound. No hard to imagine, isn’t it?

I am too sleepy to make a good job. I even forgot to wipe off

Squeeze. Fart. Squeeze. Tird.

Two pizzas a day makes something greatly rhyme with a day, but I can’t find any, because there ain’t no word for this shapeless brown blob laying at the bottom of my toilet.

Squashy

Now I am taking a shit at my UNI. I ate ricotta for lunch. I am looking forward to the moment when I could share this marvelous smell to the world

I produced some kind of sauce, obviously not good to eat. Yet, satisfying enough to get rid of. It is A LOT

This one is hard to describe, but I’ll try. I’ve been spreading my cheeks for five or six minutes, veery sloowwlyy the gravity force started to act on the stuff. It’s going down taking its time. Once it reaches my anus it deploys its blades, they sink in my skin, penetrating it. I push, itContinue reading “Wednesday, 26 May 2021 | 06:55 AM”

I guess I shall get used to leaving some shit at work. I am not talking about forgetting pencils on the desk, I mean actual stinky crap down the toilet! Btw, The loo still has no windows.

It never happens, though today my crap left as soon as My cheeks touched the marble. It does give me good vibez. A great new day begins!

End of the meeting, the end of suffering. A train of shit coming out hastily.