Author Archives: theshytird

Oops. Something slipped while peeing

Discharged

At the end of the day, something finally got out. Home and dry. Dry. Dry.

I’ve been sitting here for top long. Nothing NOTHING got ouuuttt. Though I feel it. It’s here!!

Pushing hard won’t help my arse expelling 😦

Very good. I reckon this is the best way to start my two-week holiday. I just hope I won’t be starting every day in this way. 🙄 God! I am sweating! I know it’s not that much related to my statement above, but it’s just to deliver the most complete picture of the present me.Continue reading “Friday, 6 August 2021 | 09:40 AM”

Having my morning breakfast today is violently difficult. I’ve got to prevent the volcano inside me from erupting before I reach the safe space. Gotta be fast…. …OKAY, GOTTA RUN! No time to finish these cereals.

Basically, I have been waiting until my bowels stop producing shit for some fifteen minutes. Gotta say I kinda had it coming. I had a bbq at some friends’, I started eating at 9 PM, I stopped at 2 AM never stopped. Now my belly hurts, and I’m embracing my biology’s will

If my brain was in my arse, it would certainly remind me to eat more fruit. 🙄

I was swiping on Instagram while taking a shit. I stumbled upon a calf with its mom’s shit on top of its head. Okay

An open windows in front of me, the sun warming my hip, shit protruding from my arsehole.

Very very very very smooooooooooth. I’m tempted to rub it on my cheeks

In one week I’ll be on vacation. Shitting in my toilet is nice, though I’m looking forward to knowing where will I shit during my camping holidays 😍

It’s summer, and my arse doesn’t respond as it should. The heat dries my shit, and my soul, and my shit, and my soul sweats.

None

Beach party till dawn. Couldn’t sleep after that. Could shit though. Couldn’t live now. Who am I? Is this a dream?

Why do we actually clean our toilet after we pooped in it? It’s such a stupid shit! It’s going to be dirty pretty soon! It’s such a selfless move! As I would never be happy at finding the scraps of someone else, why the fuck should I ever leave mine!?

It smells a looot! It’s wonderful, no matter how many times I sniffed my shit, it shocks me every single time!

Today some fresh approach to life. No breakfast, first thing in the morning, the bathroom thing. You know, washing and scenting for the society… that kind of thing. Anyway, I thought my body would have found it weird to have any kind of moment for shitting. I couldn’t be more wrong… A shitload of crapContinue reading “Thursday, 29 July 2021 | 07:48 AM”

Even if I sat for 25minutes on the toilet, there’s still fire hidden inside me. Such a shame

Basically as soon as my cheeks touched the whiteness of my throne, the shit started sprouting out of me. Such a technologically advanced body I have, and such nice accessories!

My poop was so inconsistent this morning I even forgot to mention it. What’s most regarding is what pain causes the air trapped inside my belly. Pretty common to me, yet still raw.

Here it COOOOOMES! Thanks a lot for the surprise, I was waiting for you! c’:

Yesterday I had quite a frenzy dinner, made of several steaks, two beers, chips. At least I dodged ice cream. Assuredly, haven’t slept more than a few hours. Digestion still ongoing. I can’t say I didn’t try… No shit got out this morning. Not even a fart! Now I am on the bus going toContinue reading “Monday, 26 July 2021 | 08:50 AM”

I spent the last couple of hours drinking litres and litres of water. I needed to clean my insides. During the same amount of time, I kept farting in turmoil, disgusting mayhem coming from my arse. I kept waiting and waiting for the water to take effect until eventually, THE BOMB EXPLODED! Ok. How doContinue reading “Sunday, 25 July 2021 | 05:39 PM”

Aaaaaaalll right this is going to hurt. I feel the devil inside me. Utter cream is getting down easily though. Nice and tidy, shit. Nice, a tidal of shit.

Literally had to pull it out manually.

Smoothie in the cup.

As I was saying, i transferred the office in my toilet. Eventually, it happened for real, the pencil fell inside the toilet, squashing itself in turds. Fun. Let’s go back to writing. I’ve got a new ink to try!

Since I cannot stay in the office, I brough my office here with me. That is to say, I am writing on my notebook. My pencil was almost joining the turds diving in the pool .-. This stink is kinda focusing