Author Archives: theshytird

I thought what I experienced this morning was enough. I could not be more wrong. I was working smoothly when a call from within reached me abruptly. I am now defecating what seems like lava, at my office toilet, which has no windows, just an old under-performing vent. 😐 In the meanwhile, my bowels feelContinue reading “Friday, 8 October 2021 | 01:10 PM”

It is way too early to be awake already. Here’s what’s happened. There’s this friend of mine who raps, he’s been telling me he does ever since I knew him. Whole these years I never happened to have listened to him. Yesterday he made kind of a debut with his crossover band, Thursday is notContinue reading “Friday, 8 October 2021 | 05:40 AM”

I’ve got to say what’s just happened doesn’t happen very often. It never occurred before to me indeed. I was about to leave the office when I realised I might have needed a shit, so I sat on the toilet. I stretched for a while, but nothing seemed to get out apart from some randomContinue reading “Thursday, 7 October 2021 | 04:54 PM”

Yesterday I had pizza for dinner, and I am the kind of person who orders it once a month. I thought I would have had a good solid Tird for shitting this morning, but it didn’t happen 🙁 Only a few droplets, such a shame!

Even if I spent 40 minutes trying, no turd got out. Not even a shy one 🙁

In the morning pooping often does not come easily, nevertheless I don’t haste, I grab my hammer and I build this shit BRICK BY BRICK!

Gotta admit I thought I had more to shit today.. yesterday I took it for relaxing, the most relaxed one was my digestive system, I barely ate. I did no poop. I rested Now it kinda feels something has piled up inside me..

Since I emptied myself less than 4 hours ago, I don’t have anything to do here, sitting on the toil- OH WAIT! Here’s a little thing. A crazy little thing called tird My belly hurts, btw…

Fucking back home. Crap from my arse becomes PAIN. Cannot describe it better.

Okay, long story short, I’ve just left a party in the middle of nowhere. I spent the whole week abstaining from alcohol. Tomorrow I’ve got to work pretty early. I have just left the place. I mean, I drove for like 100 meters, then I had to pull over, DIARRHOEA coming. Now I am writing,Continue reading “Saturday, 2 October 2021 | 02:52 AM”

Gotta share this, I spent the day learning how to print in 3D with earth. Aka mud. Aka it looks like you basically print with shit. I mean, there’s this brownish stuff being extruded. It’s dirt. It fucking shit! Fun day.

There’s nothing else I did apart from open my eyes and sitting on the toilet this morning. Normally it doesn’t work. I mean, nothing works, my body don’t. Nevertheless I am shitting with no troubles. Yeah, I know, this post doesn’t tell much. But think about it, it’s one kind of a goal to reach!

Just a little nugget at work, my boss invited me an ice cream, you know…

There are basically two kind of people, those who have a shit-routine, and those who have not. I am both. I take a shit every day at around 7:30AM. Whenever I feel like I need it, I do that. It’s not 7:40 in the morning right now, ain’t it? Still pretty smelly though! 🤢

I produced a good amount of shit already, and yet I fee like it is just the tip of the iceberg… I’m late though, I guess I’ll figure it out during the day! 😖

Ok, get up, c’mon! My session lasted quite longer than usual, now my arse is toilet-shaped

What can I say? I ate loads of bread this morning. I simply clogged my body. Now I am at the toilet. Everything’s still… still. Still, I wait. Still.

After a 6-day no-alchool-streak, I drank some beer yesterday. IMMEDIATELY my shit recognises the poisonous substance, and rebels. Squashy

Sometimes I enjoy so much my weekend I could forget doing shit. Sometimes shit happens. Sometimes shit happens not to happen. I guess it’s life… shitty life!

Even if there’s my girlfriend right next to me, and there’s shit getting out of my arse, ir now seems normal. Awesome

On monday I began my alchool-free-period, dunno yet how long will it be. So far I’ve been good, so I thought I wouldn’t have had problems with my bowels. Well, I was wrong. It feels like there’s a nuclear reactor inside my belly. ☢️

Flaming meatball shitball

After a long struggle, I am finally able to have some shit. It’s not much, but it is what it is! Mark D+

Third day without alcohol. My shit it’s starting to feel healthier. And duller But also creamier!

Lost in toughts mud

It’s sort of the only joy of today. A brown nugget out of me. Will it be a metaphor of all of my pains and anxieties? Expelled in the form of shit.

This morning feels so jazzy… Everything around is still dressed in dark, only a thread of golden light filters through the window, it’s dawn. Summer feels gone, my feet on the pale tiles starting getting cold. Sure enough, this jazz album I am listening to gives it all more sense. Inside this bucolic picture, IContinue reading “Tuesday, 21 September 2021 | 06:02 AM”

I have been waiting the whole day for this. My bosses are finally out. I can SQUEEZE MY SHIT OUUUUUUT! GET OUT LITTLE PIECES OF MUD! My day has been pretty harsh today, until now. X

My week begins badly. Still looking forward to the day I’d be able to share scents

I ate toooo much for the whole week, now my bowels rebel.