Author Archives: theshytird

It’s so pleasing when I wake up in the morning and the turds are ready to pour out. Makes my day start great

No nothing at all.

A lottle reprisal shit. Utter shapeless. Yup.

Drinking in the middle of the week is something I clearly can’t afford. People drink to drive away stress, although I get more stressed as soon as the alcohol effect finishes, leaving me with stress indeed. Wide awake at five o’clock in the morning, with a very bothersome need of shitting a very strong shit.Continue reading “Wednesday, 23 February 2022 | 06:01 AM”

More or less fifteen little tirds pile in the poop of my toilet right now. Not much stinking. Somehow goodlooking.

A new work-week begins. It feels like my anus is not ready yet

WOOOOO! Excalibur is here! A very huge long turd just laid its way inside the toilet. It must be 5-inch long, its brown skin is almost perfect, no wrinkles in it. It looks legit fresh. I shall drink red wine bottles more often! Fucking incredible!!

Living together with my girlfriend reached another level. I am now developing new turds sitting on the toilet, while she’s putting her make up on. So nice. So proud of us. Luckily my shit doesn’t stink

I hate working on a Saturday morning… nevertheless I finally finished, hence I could SHIIIIT! Very soft and tidy

A very airy shit. Perhaps my bowels is trying to message me in morse! What does ‘💨💨💨💨 💨 💨💩💨💨 💨💩💩💨’ mean??

Aaaall right! Thaaat’s shit! It got out in such a simple waaay! Making it look like easy, indeed it was! Now it’ early in the morning and I am already burden-free! Very very nice! Let this fantastic day start!

Very satisfying soft shit once got back home after a very long day

This morning my shit was happy to be freed. I wasn’t.

A little strip of squanch. Very soft

Now that’s the third say of shitting in the darkness I’m quite getting used to it. The candles light the room dimly. It’s so relaxing and stimulating in a cozy way! Everyone should shit in the morning, it makes you get the day right! It’s just difficult to remove this stain from the white marbleContinue reading “Tuesday, 15 February 2022 | 07:23 AM”

I’ve been sitting on my toilet for some thirty minutes now. I’ve got candles everywhere on my bathroom to light it- you know, I’m still out of energy supply. Btw, some abruption eventually got out and I feel very relieved! My arse is so shy in the morning 😦

A little turmoil on a Sunday morning. Let’s picture this moment, Saturday night, me alone in my new house, my gf on vacation, no electricity, candles everywhere. I invited a friend of mine for a late dinner, I made lamb curry. It was Spatial. Delicous. It was so good I could still taste it rightContinue reading “Sunday, 13 February 2022 | 07:10 AM”

Still trying to have a shit. But it seems totally impossible. BUT I FEEEL IT PUSHING INSIDE!!

Nice, no electricity in the house, but I still need a shit. Let’s do it in the darkness!

Trying to have a quick shit But it’s shy

My belly self-produces GAS, if I could only export it I’d be rich. Or at least I wouldn’t have to pay the bills. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Been sitting here for some minutes already. Nnothing at all got out!

Fucking heeeell! Was rushing of the office trying get home as soon as possible to have an abrupt shit, when my colleagues just started a random conversation about Morocco. Yeah yeah great, I’d love to travel there, but I fucking need a shit! Then I finally got home and I clogged the toilet with anContinue reading “Wednesday, 9 February 2022 | 06:15 PM”

Sweet old shit in the morning

Yet some moreee

So now that I basically live a 5-minute walk from the office, I am now going home to have a quick shit, to be back to work in 15 minutes. How cool is this?

C’mon! Go away! You’re the only floating here! Go away! Like all of your brothers!

Sheeeet! I was holding as strong as possible while reviewing with my boss. ‘Guy’s I gotta go now’, and he went out. FINALLY SOME GOOOOOD SHEEET HEEERE!

Some eerie farts blur the lights

Uhhh! Such a great day to have a shit! Finally back to sqwashy-normal!