Author Archives: theshytird

That was an odd crap, it started with ‘nope, I think I won’t take a shit today’. But I felt pretty burdened. Many farts came then. I sit and produced a huge mass. Then just blobby fluid. Now I feel great!

It’s the biggest shit I’ve done in months. I mean, I don’t even understand where could everything be stored inside my belly. Must be at least half a kilo of shit

To be fair, I wasn’t expecting another shit right now… but it’s fine. Taking a shit is always something good! Even if this one is very airy 💨💨💨

Just a little shitty to free some space for lunch

I’ve been awake for two hours now, my pushy bowels wanted some place to drop their messages asap, but I gave ’em my toilet only now. My bowels are now content. I am not that satisfied though, I wished it could have been more shit, but it’s just an old tird. Just for the specialContinue reading “Friday, 9 September 2022 | 06:45 AM”

Just woke up. My bowels two minutes right after me. A bomb is dropped. My arsehole stings. She sings. Who’s she? My soul.

Yeeeeaaah, just extrude some shiiiit yeeeaahhhh!!!

A long series of turds made me realised I forgot to report my morning shit. I didn’t do it because it was way to fast than expected. And pretty fluid…

Thus some turds came out…

Oh no! Too early for a shit this morning! It’ll burden me the whole day, I a sure of this! 😡

There’s something quick I must drop before going to the gym. Ok. Done. I am now ready

Soooooft and tendeer splaaash!

Even if this crap was pretty decent, I still feel unsatisfied. Gotta get back to my old habits, shitting in the morning gives me real Chocolate

Yesterday I had Indian food for dinner. I thought my arsehole would have taken it worse than it is now, but ok! Good for me! It doesn’t even smell! NIIIICE

Squeezed entirely in 1.34seconds

G: I took a crap at the office for the first time today G: moments of panic. The turd wouldn’t flush down. L: Performance Anxiety? G: Nope G: The flush couldn’t dump it L: How did you get away with it? G: I pushed the turd down with the toilet brush G: Helped by theContinue reading “A normal day on my friend’s group chat”

Apparently I was a little constipated previously. There was more shit to come. Here I am, deploying it

Ok, enough holding it, stop pretending you don’t need to have a shit. You do! Stop ignoring me!!! Couldn’t resist to those lovely words my bowels said

Still holding my shit inside

Some shit was apparently hidden inside me. I was feeling it coming one fart at the time. They got shorter and stinkier, then SOLID

A huge Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster just took the spotlight in my bathroom. It crowds the pool with such a cockiness, that any other turd is now afraid to get out. I feel fine though, it was worth three meals

A loooooooooong fart and the day begins

I am almost getting back to my routine. I just need to have a shit before eight though. My arse is a little cross at this time of the day, need it more relaxed! Turds are dry prunes now

Mu turds just sank. Byebye

Some babies. Brownies

I was actually waiting for this moment today. Since I took a shit late in the early morning, before going to bed, then nothing after I woke up. Well, it came then! And it was wonderful! 2 heavy stones out!

Two little turds, nice to be there at this time of the day. I think I can go to sleep now.

Just woken up by my bowels. ‘Hey mate! There’s a parcel to be delivered!’ Here’s where I am now, at the post office, long queue… Lol, nope! There’s no such thing as long queues here! I’m in the toilet, and there’s a queue of shit piling up behind me

Yeaaah, why not? Some more shiit! It is getting worser and worser…. There’s something green embedded inside What the hell could it be!?🤔

Certainly a bug. I mean, there’s something wrong in this crap, it’s a muffin made of 1/2-inch-long puffy turds, all stuck together. Everything got down the slope without falling apart