Thursday, 1 September 2022 | 08:11 AM

A huge Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster just took the spotlight in my bathroom. It crowds the pool with such a cockiness, that any other turd is now afraid to get out. I feel fine though, it was worth three meals

Wednesday, 31 August 2022 | 10:55 AM

I am almost getting back to my routine. I just need to have a shit before eight though. My arse is a little cross at this time of the day, need it more relaxed! Turds are dry prunes now