Author Archives: theshytird

Monday, 8 June 2020 | 09:34 AM Talking about meteors… this one’s on fire!

Monday, 8 June 2020 | 07:52 AM If I shat on ants, would they see meteors?

Sunday, 7 June 2020 | 04:49 PM I feel like I had no shit in a week. My shats are becoming weak. I reached the peak, A tird resembling a beak.

Saturday, 6 June 2020 | 12:08 PM I’d like to shoot a time lapse of one of my shit bathing in the sun. I wonder how long would it take to disappear completely.

Friday, 5 June 2020 | 04:39 PM I keep saying the only human action that has never evolved throughout all our history ever since, is shitting.

Friday, 5 June 2020 | 10:17 AM This was so intense I almost fainted, now my head hurts.

Thursday, 4 June 2020 | 02:31 PM Keep your eyes on my anus expanding, releasing brownish matter, and contracting. Use your imagination.

Wednesday, 3 June 2020 | 04:07 PM If I was a rabbit I’d collect my little pearly tirds to make a necklace for my girlfriend.

Wednesday, 3 June 2020 | 11:17 AM I’m losing my grip, gotta get some anal training.

Tuesday, 2 June 2020 | 09:29 AM Let’s face it. Taking a poop is our dumbest bug.

Sunday, 31 May 2020 | 12:52 PM Stiff.

Saturday, 30 May 2020 | 06:01 PM 💩💩💩💨 💩💩💨💩💨💩💨💨💩💨💨 / 💩💨💩💩💩💩💨💨💩💨💩💩💩/ 💨💩💨💩💩💨💩💩💨💩💨💨💩 … – .. -. -.- -.– / .-.. .. – – .-.. . / -.-. .-. .- .–.

Saturday, 30 May 2020 | 03:51 PM If fart means LONG, and tird means SHORT, I could transmit messages in morse with my arse!

Saturday, 30 May 2020 | 09:49 AM Dry stuff. You know what does this remind me? Raisins.

Friday, 29 May 2020 | 07:56 AM Hasty rush for the toilet. I had to run briskly. Now my anus is so angry with me…

Thursday, 28 May 2020 | 04:35 PM This shit is acid.

Thursday, 28 May 2020 | 09:29 AM I am trying to reset my routine, it’s so good to start the day with a relieving shit. Empty bowels means happy days.

Wednesday, 27 May 2020 | 05:34 PM Today’s crap is as hard as cobblestone. It just made a hole in my toilet. The floor is soaking wet. And that’s not normal water.

Tuesday, 26 May 2020 | 03:48 PM You know clubs? I mean cavemen’s clubs. The one kind Fred Flinstones uses. Well I just arse-crafted one.

Tuesday, 26 May 2020 | 02:30 PM I’m now looking very much forward to summer times. I love it when I can wander casually in the woods and have a shit in the nature. Just like I did last summer. I was on a bot with friends, we stopped by a little arcipelago made ofContinue reading “Tuesday, 26 May 2020 | 02:30 PM”

Monday, 25 May 2020 | 10:23 AM I love it when it lighten so smoothly. I don’t even feel like an execrable maroon thing came off me grasping for life. This is a happy day!

Sunday, 24 May 2020 | 08:04 PM Before-dinner blop. Not the very best.

Sunday, 24 May 2020 | 10:11 AM If expelling tirds meant getting rid of all the bad vibes I’d be Mahatma pooper

Saturday, 23 May 2020 | 10:57 AM This was HUGE! If I’d have to name every tird as a child, I would need a proper yearbook. Pictures included.

Friday, 22 May 2020 | 02:40 PM I just don’t know what’s to be told about this dull shit. It is just pathetic.

Thursday, 21 May 2020 | 02:49 PM Here’s another one! Vleksncjskwnejfidns

Thursday, 21 May 2020 | 10:19 AM Yesterday I spent the whole day not having a shit. Not a single drop. I need a corkscrew now!

Tuesday, 19 May 2020 | 07:10 PM Shit I’m late, why does my arse can’t help bothering me in these moments? Al least it made it easy. Just a single tird. Though looooooong.

Tuesday, 19 April 2020 | 02:26 PM Ear plugs on, all the lights switched off, just tucked in bed. All set for a great nap. Knock knock! …fuck. It’s my bum. He needs a shit.

Monday, 18 May 2020 | 11:19 AM New emoji!!! : ) 3——————— Guess what it is