the Shy Tird

A single Nugget

I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT! IT GOT OUT!

All righty. I prepared myself for the war today. I ate pasta, pizza, kebab in the last few days. Had no shit whatsoever yet. So I just had a huge cup of ginger tea. It should stimulate me. I deadly hope so.

I’ve been sitting on the toilet for twenty minutes now. Nothing yet. Let’s wait…

The day is reaching the end, and I still can’t shit.

I AIN’T SHIT NO SHIT

Now, I ate a kebab for lunch. C’moon! Let me expeeeeeeeeel!

Another day spent with anything getting out of me.

I am sitting on the white throne, I am trying…

Nothing.

And some cramps are starting to present in my belly

Even today, no shit happened to exit.

The problem is I am dying in pain, and I can’t afford to push my anus at the moment.

I am worried. I felt no urge to have a shit today.

None at all.

I’ve never thought I would have ended up reporting something like this when I first opened this blog.

This morning I had my circumcision. The surgery itself hasn’t been painful. Holding my farts during the whole operation was tough, though.

I now need two weeks to recover, but – I’m thinking – in the meanwhile, I’m gonna need to shit!

Fuck. I am scared. Why couldn’t they cut it once I was born? Now everything is so much complicated…

Anyway. This is my first shit after the surgery. I spent the last three hours working at my laptop, trying hard to concentrate while the pain was climaxing my dick.

Well. Now I emptied from the rubbish, the pain is gone. So after all, it was just crap’s fault!

I am at the clinic waiting for a surgery. Apart from the anxiety, I desperately need a shit.

Fuck fuck fuck, I am scared of exploding right in the middle of the operation. It would be pretty cringy

Arguably the most pathetic shit ever. It doesn’t even fly.

The day passed by, why haven’t I taken a shit today?!

An exclamation point has just appeared inside my toilet. It is brown.

Trust me. It’s my gut expressing its feelings through crap.

❗️

There’s still time to flush a pretty tird tonight

Shitty slowly emitting. Slowly falling.

Slowly sinking.

Eruption

Artwork in white!

Yes! The day starts great!

But it smells VERY badly.

Cool.

Yesterday I ate only some basmati rice with carrots. Nothing else.

My anus is now dry as the desert. Famine on it.

I am not sure if any tird got out from me. 🧐

I had a huge dinner and got back at 3:30AM

I haven’t had such a night in a very loooong time.

My anus now burns. He’s not used to it.

Brbrbrbrbr is the sound.

No hard to imagine, isn’t it?

I am too sleepy to make a good job. I even forgot to wipe off

Squeeze.

Fart.

Squeeze.

Tird.

Two pizzas a day makes something greatly rhyme with a day, but I can’t find any, because there ain’t no word for this shapeless brown blob laying at the bottom of my toilet.

Squashy

Now I am taking a shit at my UNI. I ate ricotta for lunch.

I am looking forward to the moment when I could share this marvelous smell to the world

I produced some kind of sauce, obviously not good to eat. Yet, satisfying enough to get rid of.

It is A LOT

This one is hard to describe, but I’ll try.

I’ve been spreading my cheeks for five or six minutes, veery sloowwlyy the gravity force started to act on the stuff. It’s going down taking its time. Once it reaches my anus it deploys its blades, they sink in my skin, penetrating it. I push, it stings. I push, it pushes back.

I have to bail, using my muscles to take it back inside. I am fearful. How could I expel it now, if it breaks me apart. I decide to do it, no matter how painful it is. I push, hard, as hard as I can. It goes by, followed by two fat twins.

I am free.

I guess I shall get used to leaving some shit at work. I am not talking about forgetting pencils on the desk, I mean actual stinky crap down the toilet!

Btw, The loo still has no windows.

It never happens, though today my crap left as soon as My cheeks touched the marble.

It does give me good vibez. A great new day begins!

End of the meeting, the end of suffering.

A train of shit coming out hastily.

Waiting for an online meeting to start.

Farting very much.

C’mooon! I NEED A SHIT!