the Shy Tird

My arsehole producing shit makes the best job ever. It is very good at it. It even works on the weekends. Nice. Very nice. I should give it a raise!

Trouble shitting today. I guess it’s because I’m out of my routine

Well could be!

There’s only a shy little tird watching me, head right on top of the water surface.

Yes, as a matter of fact, there was more. There is now in my toilet more or less the same amount of shit there was ten minutes ago. And I flushed it down, you know. It kind of re-spawned. Where the hell does it come from? I haven’t eaten double!

Now my body is self-producing faeces, I guess…

No, seriously I feel like I unlocked some kind of bonus and now I doubled up the reward. If I only shat gold…

The Omen was correct, now the pool is crowded with chilling tirds, sitting all around in a very hazy water.

Sure they are happy now, finally freed from a dark and claustrophobic place such as the intestines.

There’s a bit more coming though, I feel it. Or perhaps my anus is just a little itchy because of that spicy hamburger I had for dinner 🤔

Ominous bowels burden.

The good the bad and the ugly are inside the shell.

The good is a HUGE turd taking all the spot, nothing to say, it is the winner, the bigger, the better, the stronger

the BAD boy stays a little out, seeking revenge from the good

The UGLY is small and underdeveloped, it’s not even whole, it is split in bits, it stays behind the big one in order to seek protection.

This movie I watched inside the toilet made me start the day in a good mood.

I woke up this morning with this insane idea of falling back to sleep, but something was awake already, something prevented me from falling back into Morpheus’ arms.

There’s a bomb ticking inside me, going to explode, gotta be dropped.

Don’t know why though, I didn’t eat anything terrible, I guess it is just my stress negatively affecting my corporal functions.

I am sad

I have a turd still attached to my arsehole.

Oh, right, it fell.

The end.

As I thought, every bit of shit was still inside me.

Now it is outside. Having a party in the pool altogether.

The deafening sound of silence interrupted by an incisive splash. It is a shy tird in the hole! And nothing more. Everything else is just phantom crap

I’ve just felt abused by my own bowels. My arsehole was very not ready to accept anything to step through it. Nevertheless my intestines decided to go at their own pace.

I’ve been raped. Now I cry.

Eerie movements inside my intestines….

You’ve waited enough time! Meatballs are ready now! Breakfast is served!

I wouldn’t recommend ‘em though, put some sauce on it, it’ll adjust the pointy flavour.

Jokes aside, guys, my turds are perfectly shaped meatballs. Size is perfect, consistence is great… If I were selling my shit in jars, this would be one of a kind, pretty rare!

This poop is nothing great. It is one of those which stays hidden inside, sacrificing few bits to stay concealed. I only got rid of these pieces, yet still waiting for the core.

When my body has not recovered enough, and it is not yet wide awake, it cannot make the whole shit in the morning in only one session.

It often happens I finish my session wiping my arsehole with some toilet paper, I clean my butt, and I go have a day start.

So what happens is, I put my shoes on, tie my shoelaces, and my arse gives me the first call, then I am turning the key in the front door locket, and my arse gives me the second call. I don’t even wait for a third one, because I know the third one means a Turd one!

This is precisely what happened this morning, and now I am taking my reprisal shit.

It feels like I shouldn’t have woken up this morning, my arse won’t even start. I mean, there’s stuff inside, but there’s not enough energy to pull it off. And it is also way too clean…

Brisk reprisal

My eyes just want to stay shut, but my anus wants to stay broad. It has to put all the pirates outboard.

Since yesterday I had sushi, now raw fish can go back swimming in the ocean.

After a sushi dinner anything is gas related. I am stuffed with air

It is the first morning in a while I can’t really take a crap as soon as I wake up. That’s a little odd, but I guess it’s just a matter of patience and it will come…

Two minutes later

Yeh, here it is. It’s always so liberating, me still drowsy, dream-like-thinking, and some shit getting out. Also poetic!

It’s not easy to describe what’s up with my anus this morning. Tu put it simply: spiciness.

I had a spicy dinner, and now my hole is fully fired. Idk, I probably like this kind of feeling. I can’t be sure she will enjoy being the room as soon as my girlfriend wakes up…

This stuff lean in the air! It’s fucking pollution!

Reprisal

My night was harsh. Couldn’t get why, mostly anxiety I guess.

NOPE, it was because of those fried pastry-filled-mozzarella-thinghyies I had for lunch. As soon as I woke up I created a little pile of shit. It’s more like a miniature Mountain.

Trust me, it’s like when you use a shovel and you move fresh soil into s new pile. Exactly the same.N

ow, about my health…. still questioning

It’s three thirty in the morning, I can’t sleep, but I can soundly fart. I go have some proper ones in the bathroom.

All righty, it actually happened what I felt was going to. It’s happening pretty often, to be fair. And I am glad it happened.

Simply, I was about to get out for my morning jog, when the shit I felt was still inside me knock-knocked. Who’s there?

‘WHROOOOM’! That was immediate!

Today I am having troubles pooping. I mean, it’s not constipation, but I feel like there’s something left inside after each push.

Well, guess it’s something normal…

Maybe it’s caused by the fact I had some nightmares not long ago, or maybe is because I am very sad this morning. Or maybe, maybe it’s just random. Let me wipe this thing off and get the day started…

A Softy

Live from the white throne. I’ve just had breakfast and I was headed to the shower, the toilet was in between, so I decided to take some advantage of it.

I achieved almost nothing. I’ve just stained the slope with the littlest turd ever. POINTLESS.

The beginning of the day means deflating, i.e. MANY FAAARTS. And a huge piece of crap after me, i.e. A BIG TURD.

That doesn’t make me awake, though

I have a freaking serious gas problem. I’m constantly bloating. I am serious. My bowels are highly problematic. And flammable I believe…

So now, I’d pretty much like to sleep, BUT, this internal air I’ve got stored within me is very discomfortable. It stresses me out!

Ok ok… GOTTA RELAAAAX.