the Shy Tird

Saturday, 30 May 2020 | 06:01 PM

💩💩💩💨 💩💩💨💩💨💩💨💨💩💨💨 / 💩💨💩💩💩💩💨💨💩💨💩💩💩/ 💨💩💨💩💩💨💩💩💨💩💨💨💩

… – .. -. -.- -.– / .-.. .. – – .-.. . / -.-. .-. .- .–.

Saturday, 30 May 2020 | 03:51 PM

If fart means LONG, and tird means SHORT, I could transmit messages in morse with my arse!

Saturday, 30 May 2020 | 09:49 AM

Dry stuff. You know what does this remind me?

Raisins.

Friday, 29 May 2020 | 07:56 AM

Hasty rush for the toilet.

I had to run briskly.

Now my anus is so angry with me…

Thursday, 28 May 2020 | 04:35 PM

This shit is acid.

Thursday, 28 May 2020 | 09:29 AM

I am trying to reset my routine, it’s so good to start the day with a relieving shit.

Empty bowels means happy days.

Wednesday, 27 May 2020 | 05:34 PM

Today’s crap is as hard as cobblestone.

It just made a hole in my toilet.

The floor is soaking wet. And that’s not normal water.

Tuesday, 26 May 2020 | 03:48 PM

You know clubs? I mean cavemen’s clubs.

The one kind Fred Flinstones uses.

Well I just arse-crafted one.

Tuesday, 26 May 2020 | 02:30 PM

I’m now looking very much forward to summer times. I love it when I can wander casually in the woods and have a shit in the nature.

Just like I did last summer. I was on a bot with friends, we stopped by a little arcipelago made of three pretty little island, more likely very big rocks with some vegetation on them.

Well, I dived for a swim, when suddenly I felt the urge to unload. So I swam to the closest cliff, climbed it goggles tied on my suit.

Once arrived to some vegetation I carefully stepped on some bushes, while hanging in mid-air I had one of the most satisfying shit ever.

The only cons has been wiping my arse with some roughy leaves…

Monday, 25 May 2020 | 10:23 AM

I love it when it lighten so smoothly. I don’t even feel like an execrable maroon thing came off me grasping for life.

This is a happy day!

Sunday, 24 May 2020 | 08:04 PM

Before-dinner blop.

Not the very best.

Sunday, 24 May 2020 | 10:11 AM

If expelling tirds meant getting rid of all the bad vibes I’d be Mahatma pooper

Saturday, 23 May 2020 | 10:57 AM

This was HUGE!

If I’d have to name every tird as a child, I would need a proper yearbook.

Pictures included.

Friday, 22 May 2020 | 02:40 PM

I just don’t know what’s to be told about this dull shit. It is just pathetic.

Thursday, 21 May 2020 | 02:49 PM

Here’s another one! Vleksncjskwnejfidns

Thursday, 21 May 2020 | 10:19 AM

Yesterday I spent the whole day not having a shit. Not a single drop.

I need a corkscrew now!

Tuesday, 19 May 2020 | 07:10 PM

Shit I’m late, why does my arse can’t help bothering me in these moments?

Al least it made it easy. Just a single tird. Though looooooong.

Tuesday, 19 April 2020 | 02:26 PM

Ear plugs on, all the lights switched off, just tucked in bed. All set for a great nap.

Knock knock!

…fuck. It’s my bum. He needs a shit.

Monday, 18 May 2020 | 11:19 AM

New emoji!!!

: ) 3———————

Guess what it is

Monday, 18 May 2020 | 09:56 AM

Blobs sprouting from my – let’s make it SFW – hole.

I don’t have a garden

Sunday 17 May 2020 | 05:15 PM

This shit’s not even worth talking about

Sunday, 17 May 2020 | 11:43 AM

Nooooo, that’s so sticky!

Saturday, 16 May 2020 | 11:51 PM

After some ice cream and some board game with the family, I got angry, the milky ice cream kicked in.

AND I SHAT ON THE BOARD!

I WIIIN!

Saturday, 16 May 2020 | 04:15 PM

Floating in mid-air still hanging from my arse…

Below it the green-ish smelly pond…

That’s the shit of the jungle!

Friday, 15 May 2020 | 02:31 PM

Scorching arse means firing comets.

Friday, 15 May 2020 | 10:23 AM

A pointy tird has just stang me.

It was venomous.

Thursday, 14 May 2020 | 05:33 PM

Fly high my little fella.

I just thrusted the long crap just extruded from my window.

Thursday, 14 May 2020 | 02:56 PM

That one is nice and quiet.

It’s like my arse has a silencer.

Thursday, 14 May 2020 | 11:28 AM

I reckon it’s time for me to start back reporting about my poop sessions.

Yesterday I had a poke bowl for lunch, avocado in it was unripe, too watery, raw fish wasn’t that fresh I believe. I had no dinner whatsoever.

Now I am having a pretty conventional shitty shitty. It doesn’t float. Does not smell bad.

So what?

Wednesday, 13 May 2020 | 11:06 AM

This shitty blog is getting out of my hands.

I keep pooping and pooping, and slowly I feel my arse gaining power on myself.

I’m not the same person anymore…