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last poops

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last   poops

Wednesday, 20 March 2024 | 08:42 AM

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You know, when you drink beer and the day after you’re all cluttered, well, I’ve decided to have dinner with milk and cereal after my two pints, I thought it might protect and stabilise my tummy.

Hell yeah, it worked! I slept fairly nice, and I have no stomach aching!

Although, once on the toilet, as I am now writing from…. the real pain came…

Luckily it ended rapidly, let me just flush off all of this rubbish!

Monday, 18 March 2024 | 08:27 AM

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I hate it when I spend the whole night farting, real bad stuff, then in the morning there’s nothing left to shit.

Whatthefuck!? I mean, it’s right there! It’a self-clear!

Saturday, 16 March 2024 | 08:28 AM

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To take a shit the day after a pizza, is getting mire and more difficult.

You know, at first I feel constipated, even farts find their way out hardly, then some loose shit gets on, but very slowly, then stop, I’m not able to continue…

All the day goes along with farts and my stomach hurting, but at one point, farts frequency increases dramatically, and I find myself sitting on my toilet, for the final movement.

Thus it has an end.

Thursday, 14 March 2024 | 08:21 AM

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I had to do a lot of house chores this morning, dishes, fold the dry robes, laundry, clean cat’s litter, everything before having a relaxed shit!

As soon as I sat, I got devoured by my toilet, shat all at once.

The airport bathroom

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As I passed the security check, I rushed to the closest bathroom, as I desperately need a poo!

I trust every arrow they put, following them to my craved destination, I tidily put my luggage one on top of the other, and I lower my trousers.

Here I am. Yeah, I can finally push everything out at once. Doesn’t matter if farts come out, nobody will see me again, everybody departing as far as they booked their flight to.

Here I am. Giving life to monsters, relaxed as ever, as I am pretty much early this time, thinking I am finally coming back, come back to my girlfriend, to my cat, I miss them…

Here I am. Relaxed, thinking about home, when a cascade of water just wet my entire bottoms. WHAT THE FUCK! I spring off the toilet, crossly surprised.

Here I am. Sitting on the looping-self-flushing toilet. Now sitting just on my left cheek, trying to avoid any other flushdrop reaching my arsehole…

After 15 minutes I feel tired, and I sit back normally, now thinking, well, it’s not that bad, after all, it’s a douche-embedded toilet!

So I get off the bathroom, head to the boarding, sitting on my seat… as we take off I can’t stop wondering ‘woah, I forgot to wipe!’

A letter to my 100yo self

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Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

As you’re now crossing the century milestone, just look back. Do you see it?

It’s still the same as it has always been: your shit resting at the bottom of the toilet.

Hopingly, you’re at your own house, probably not even writing blog posts anymore, only giving inputs directly from your brain to some sort of design.

Anyways, do you see it? It’s been a long past, and you fucking made it. You’re still taking a shit. Probably at this stage is through a hose inside your anus, but it ain’t matter. You now discovered the meaning of life.

Taking a shit.

Farewell, and don’t you dare forgetting the window closed now! God’s sake!

Sunday, 10 March 2024 | 06:30 AM

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Btw, still on the toilet. It’s now getting late, but I need to fulfil my main chore here, otherwise I will find myself in agony, trying to stop a diarrhoea at some close point in time, like, I would say, as I go to the terminal to catch my flight, or perhaps on the train to the airport, yeah… yeah…

Right here seems more comfortable, as I am at a friend of mine, and I keep taking bad and turds which smell A LOOOOT

Sunday, 10 March 2024 | 06:06 AM

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Waaay too early in the morning, I have a flight to catch.

But the thing is, I slept for maybe two hours, and now I have no strength at all for having a real shit. Only little farts keep sounding