the Shy Tird

As I said. Yes! There still was something waiting for me, thiner, longer, smoother!

A real piece of shit!

Yesterday I exaggerated. One beer after another. It was even painful to drink most of them, because my belly was still hurting after lung, a giant panini clogged my stomach. So after many drinks, it got to 2:00AM and I went to sleep.

After I woke myself up, I still felt my belly as a balloon. Nothing good. So I had breakfast and that gave me some movements inside.

I went for the toilet and pulled off some pseudo-normal shit. I mean a normal one with a normal-diet-day history.

But inside me there’s more. Much much more. The beer has surely became dense brown juice, and in the near future will fight for a place outside. I must be patience and wait, knowing there’s some harsh surprise hover around for me

Fucking street food. This panini was huuuuge. My belly is going to explode soon for sure.

Better uncork the valve. PLOF, a turd has happened

I had to push really hard for just two stupid stones

I guess it’s too early. Even just one hour difference makes my bowels unusable

Twirled turd, my poop is so absurd.

How so? Well, it is brown stuff getting out of my arse! When you really think about it, seems incredible!

Yesterday I spent the day having a lot and a lot of beer. Not many reasons for that, I just missed my friends, and needed to celebrate

The celebration isn’t over, I see some new friends laying at the bottom of my toilet, they are freaking huge though, yes, it’s wiser to have them as friends .-.

I don’t want to be some enemy, they’d crush me 😰

It’s the beginning of the week, and I harvested fruits of the tree I planted yesterday.

I had a couple of drinks after a 2-week-stop, beer, and a pizza for a late dinner, hence my bowels are pleased to let me know everything went through pretty easily.

But I guess it is more like a warning, sort of like ‘Buddy I can handle this, but please, don’t stress it too much’.

Mmh, seems like a challenge has been placed here…

Beans for lunch,

Ice cream as snack,

I pile up a stack.

I get it, have a shit and post about it is the only thing that makes me happy being alone.

Alone with a ball of turd in the pocket. I mean, in my bowels. I mean, it is now in the toilet.

I’ll flush it down now.

A turd gets out after a few long farts.

Immediate reaction to Burrata

That’s a level-8 shit, definitely. It amassed seamlessly in a little tidy spiral, it’s smooth as smoothie, it has crunchy stuff in it, it stinks at point, sticks a little but not too much on the sides. It is mostly perfect.

Why then level 8 instead of 9? Because the levels above 8 are just for exceptional craps. This is no exceptional one, it is surely special, beyond normality, but still in the normal Range.

Ok so, for a shit like this I suffer a lot for not having a proper system to store it. I mean industrial fridges, chem-tech jars, a charting system. I’d love to make my shit-cantine.

Must do.

Ahhhh, finally a shit worth its name!!!

This is it, a swamp made of floating huge rolls, it is kind of a cauldron recipe, little stinky… but don’t misjudge their repulsive appearance! They have a tender heart!

Amazing! While writing there still is some more sauce to be added to the collection!

I was sure there was something more to come! I mean, it’s just a couple of bucks, but that’s fine!

I hope I can be rewarded for my shit one day…

Oh nice, I spent yesterday evening trying to squeeze out every gassy slot inside my bowels, and now they seem gone.

I mean, I used the TV remote as a chisel and I pushed it hard on my belly. It didn’t work at all, but it is nice to feel relieved in the morning at least.

In the meanwhile, only a turd in the hole. I think there’s more to come… I had pizza for dinner, eheh

Two hours after several scoops of ice cream, I take a huge shit.

What’s taking so long though? I’d pretty much like to pop put these kind of revolvers in the morning. Not like twelve hours later! C’mon bowels, I know you’re better than this!!

Patience got rewarded. A grenade was thrown.

Uhm, when I wake myself up in the morning, even before I open my eyes, I fart, loads and loads of farts. Just like a did today. After such a wonderful concert I expect some good poop for me!

I had breakfast, then came here. Still nothing. It is so disappointing 😦

Right, after a bowlful of creamy ice cream my arse is finally ready to pop!

I spent the whole day whistle-farting, I knew there must come to something solid!

Meh, poor boy. Born already dead.

I mean this turd is so dried out it has no vitality at all!

Some unexpected turds came out my arse right after a few push-ups.

Don’t worry, I went sitting on the toilet for that!

They were pretty consistent, very hydrated. It was a real pleasure to meet ‘em!

Okay, perhaps now something can get expelled. It’s not much, but I think it’s fine.

My week begins in constipation. Pretty simple, there’s just a little pebble of poop inside my toilet this morning

A very lonely turd

Well, judging by the look of my poop, I guess I shall try to have a normal diet. It’s like I just puked from my arse

And a lot more has cooome!

Fuck I am burning. The sun is hitting me. Nevertheless, the temperature within my anus is magma-like

Ok, this is a consistent crap. It is three-four inch-long, it is light brown, it flakes apart on its tail, it feels as a shit should be. Badass.

Guess who’s been so fool to eat dinner at a Chinese restaurant?

Yes, ME!

Now my popping bowels are just the icing on the cake of my insomnia!

My routine is again destroyed. My shit goes out whenever it decides. All right, I guess…

I see some white spots on my turds today, some crumbles! :3