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last poops

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last   poops

Saturday, 21 September 2024 | 04:30 AM

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Four thirty in the morning, and I find myself on the toilet.

It’s been weeks since I’ve decided not to buy beers or alcohol in general, I’ve been doing great, only drank a little glass of beer when asked, not exaggerating, not causing any problem whatsoever.

Yesterday I met my best friend, who desperately needed to talk, and we did. He took a pint and I ordered a Tonic (no Gin, can anybody imagine??)

Nice. Thing is, the chat went on, long on. He ordered another beer, and I followed, ending up with a litre beer in by stomach. Not a good beer.

Got back home for dinner, and everything was smooth… until now, woke up, belly aching, feeling weird… and now I’m on the toilet, swearing silently at my past-self, trying to push shit as hard as possible.

Fuck me.

Thursday, 19 September 2024 | 08:37 AM

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My bowels are a little touchy, if I don’t take it slow in the morning, they go constipated, protesting.

This morning every was going fine, until my girlfriend’s car had a problem while she was getting to work… I helped her immediately, brought her to her place, got back home and checked the car.

Could you possibly imagine? my bowels are cross. Constipated. Had to push for twenty minutes in order to take some shit!

Uh, btw… the car doesn’t move. Need a mechanic now :/

Sunday, 15 September 2024 | 08:34 AM

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One good thing about autumn is that it’s plenty of fallen leaves… these fallen leaves come really handy when I need to cover my diarrhoea left in the middle of the woods.

Yeah, fresh diarrhoea, just some minutes before arriving at the starting spot of our trek.

The downside of autumn, though, it’s the freezing breeze on my cheeks while plopping.

The hike can now begin!

Sunday, 15 September 2024 | 04:11 AM

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Yeah, great! My alarm is set for 5AM to go trekking, and I’m awake since 3:30, I guess my energies won’t be proper later… not because I slept too little, but because I will have used them all to do what I’ve been doing since I woke up, taking a shit.

It is not a normal shit, it’s squanchy and painful, and it has such a peculiar scent…bbq ribs. Peculiar, yet so familiar… I had them for dinner at the German restaurant.

I guess I should stop eating heavy stuff for dinner, it’s not for me… or at least not for my bowels…

Thursday, 12 September 2024 | 07:45 AM

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Doesn’t matter if I exercise more, every fucking time I have pizza for dinner, I am constipated in the morning.

Fuck!

I mean, it is obvious I need a shit, look at my belly!

Shit…

I’ll stay for a while sitting here on my toilet, let’s see if anything moves at all

Wednesday, 11 September 2024 | 08:22 AM

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Seems like my body absorbed everything I ate yesterday…

Probably it is also because I donated blood yesterday…

Wait a minute… a turd just got out… right while I was writing… weird… my bowels was feeling afraid uh?