Saturday, 17 June 2023 | 08:12 AM

It’s so hot already, and the dawn wakes me up sooner than I would like, especially on a Saturday!

I’m on the toilet, as always, this morning’s shit came so urgently, I didn’t even have time for breakfast!

Today’s daily prompt was about describing one of my favourite moments, and I couldn’t help but describing the one I was living right now.

I love taking a shit!

The moment I’m experiencing while writing

Describe one of your favorite moments.

Yesterday I got out having dinner with friends, then we took something to drink at my favourite plaza. Plain and simple, I wasn’t used to it anymore, I am overwhelmed by work.

I took hummus for dinner, accompanied with beer, followed by a Moscow Mule.

At five in the morning the first lights in the sky woke me up, and I received the first hint of the moment I am now living: A vigorous fart.

Some minutes ago my girlfriend woke me up nicely and smiling, full of life and love, we had sex yesterday night, before falling asleep, but this is another story…

Well, as I come wide awake, I had to rush to the bathroom, hummus was calling. I climbed my Squatty Potty, and I pushed a little. The very same hummus I ate yesterday came back from my arsehole, same consistency, very different color, pretty smellier, much satisfying.

Imma go have breakfast now! The weekend begins!

A lunch to be remembered

What notable things happened today?

Ever since we fell in love, my girlfriend told me all about her delightful BBQ ribs. How everybody who ever tasted loved ’em.

Finally she prepared it. Today was the day, at lunch. She bought some ice-cold beer to serve it with, and she set the table.

Lunch was utterly unbelievable, tasteful, joyful, plenty of flavour. I was about to approach the last rib she handed me happily, we were chatting and laughing, when I said softly ‘I’m shitting my pants off!’. Then I disappeared in the bathroom.

Yeah.

My lunch was tasty. Those ribs are truly unforgettable.

Monday, 12 June 2023 | 08:41 AM

Ever since we took a cat, we put her litter next to our toilet. I can’t understand who does this decision benefit more…

She shits every time we take one, hers smells bad and distracts me from mine.

At the same time, she doesn’t make it anywhere else…

Dunno, this matter gives me constipation…

Saturday, 10 June 2023 | 09:26 AM

Yesterday I improvised a weird lunch, rice with lardons, courgettes, onions, carrots.

I don’t know why, but my girlfriend had diarrhoea the whole evening. Weird, because it’s me suffering the whole time! This time NOTHING AT ALL.

I was a little afraid of the shit from this morning, but I gotta admit it’s fairly normal.

Some luck!

Friday, 9 June 2023 | 08:12 AM

Here’s the most recent story with my bowels as protagonist.

The day before yesterday, I had a dinner with friends, some prepared a space cake, of which I ate three pieces. The last time I ate three pieces as well, and I felt almost nothing, this time I felt the most stoned I’ve ever felt. Paranoid, bed trips, lucid nightmares, and in the morning I couldn’t stand nor walk. I had to skip work, and go back to sleep.

I tried to take a shit, but I was constipated. The day went on surviving, then I drank some beers for another party of an other group of friends, and I went to sleep.

At 1AM I woke up burning inside, my stomach was aching in acid. It kept me awake for a couple of hours, then I woke up in the morning knowing where would have I ended up.

On the toilet, right where I am sitting now.

I am now recovering what I had to shit yesterday, with some bonuses. Reeky bad bonuses.