the Shy Tird

I knew it! Diarrhoea yeaterday means no shit today!

An almost immediate reaction.

When ‘almost‘ saves your life.

Finished a job today at 2PM.

Needed a rapid lunch, because it takes a hour to get back home from there, and I was starving.

I opted for McDonalds. I hate it, I hate everything about it, but you know, sometimes junk food is exactly what you really need – and fuck it! It is tasty!

Btw, I ordered and the drive-thru, then started my route.

First I had a bit of Coke, then finished the fries while looking for a lay-by. Once I found one, I devoured my double-chicken burger.

Nice and tidy, even wiped my hands with I wet wipe, a must-have in my car-kit.

Got back on the road when I felt it. Deep inside me, but not so deep.

Shit.

It was shit.

Fast-forward. Back home. I’m on the toilet. Diarrhoea.

That’s my almost immediate reaction. I have to thank my body, and my mind for taking that 1-hour lag. It saved my life!

Btw every single time I have pasta for dinner I’m constipated the day after.

This morning I feel pardoned.

Thank you bowels

Today I’ve done a veeery smelly shit.

And it was veery satisfying!

8/10

I had bbq ribs for dinner. Fell asleep somewhere close 00:58 then back awake at 5:33.

Farts farts farts. Couldn’t sleep.

Got to the bathroom. Only after more than one hour a huge turd got out.

Is still feel bad.

I mean, everything is ok, but I can’t sleep. Feels like there’s something preventing it.

Must be some turd

Well. After eating chestnuts, farts is the main thing.

Then comes shit.

Too dull to even describe it!

Creepy night for me, couldn’t sleep. Acid mind.

Couldn’t shit before 11 AM.

Then made it.

The day become a little better then

Couldn’t take shit this morning.

For some reason 😟

Some two hours ago I spent almost one hour on the toilet. Took some serious shit, couldn’t sleep without it.

Now I feel I need more shit to be done.

I’m back on the toilet. Funny farts sounds get out of my bowels. No shit.

And yet, my shit still inside me feels better than me right now.

Had pizza for dinner.

Am a sinner.

Sleep troubled a bit.

Now I need some shit.

Had a terrible night.

Didn’t take any shit yesterday, had a barbecue and loads of beers. My bowels was very stressed during the night.

Luckily everything got out pretty easily right now

Pretty late for a shit.

In fact, am constipated

Happy Birthday to me! The sole and only King of shit!

Yeeey!

I am celebrating my sixth anniversary as The anonymous shit blogger with a huge turd.

One single pop.

I guess it’s been growing inside me for long.

You know what? It was just like the first tird which inspired this very blog.

A SHY TIRD!

Troubles taking a shit after a very long streak.

I ate herring for dinner, does it count?

It’s been two days, my shit is floating.

I mean, not the same for two days, it’s new every day…

This morning starts the third day.

The tird day, lol

7/10 btw. Good consistency

Btw my cat has got back to her habits… she must be feeling better than ever…

She takes toilet paper roll, throw it on the ground, play with it, she scratches it, she chews it.

So… We decided to move it in an unreachable place for her, above the mirror.

Thing is it is unreachable to me as well, at least while I’m taking a shit…

So what bappens now?

I always forget to take the paper roll with me so I end up walking clumsily, my cheeks open wide – plenty of dirt off course – to take the fucking paper roll.

Then, I wipe. Everything doesn’t end here, you know…

I forgot to take the paper roll back where she can’t reach it, SO SHE KEEPS DOING THE THING!

So when I find the roll next to me, it’s usually EMPTY.

Fuck it!!

Another shit.

Mh.

Cool.

This time it is lighter brown

Don’t know why, but these last few days my poop turned dark brown. I mean, it is almost black!

Weird

Forgot to report my morning shit.

What the fuck is happening to me?

The shitblog king?

Fuck

It was a very cool shit tbh.

Must be this fault…

My bowels feel better, me urge less to post.

Mh…

Could be..

My morning shit was too fast this morning I forgot to report it.

It was almost a 8/10

A lot of shit after my day drip spent just drinking wine.

Nice, but my prostate kinda don’t work

Japanese food for dinner.

Much shit done. But feels like there’s more left.

Mh…

Imma be out for a day trip today… well, let’s face it… unpredictability in the air….

Let’s see what the day will bring…

Shit?

A little trouble shitting.

But in the end I made it!

Coping with the constipation I had yesterday, in a much coped way!

Just constipation

Well. It’s pretty smelly in here.

It already was before me taking a shit, sure, gotta clean my cats’ litters, but…

You know, it’s even worse now…

A little constipated and I’m going to stay out for the whole day…

Wish it was one of those normal days I can stay home on my toilet working

Dunno. Just random shit

6/10

I’m out, I slept out. I went out, I drank, not much to be fair.

But, you know, shit was copious

Pure shit.

Oh no wait.

Farts