Tuesday, 24 March 2020 | 09:57 AM

Some mornings I am so in need of expelling slags that I’ve got to urge for that!

…and when I do that I’m frankly scared my anus could break outstretched as it is. Luckily it has never happened (yet!)

Well, I’m just having one of these mornings, okay? As I felt my anus clinging back off, I nodded, shocked at glancing at this massive 6-inch (at least!) excalibur laying idly on the slope. Fuck me! That was huge!

Monday, 23 March 2020 | 09:00 PM

I just discovered multiplayer online escape rooms on steam. This is the end.

Monday, 23 March 2020 | 09:57 AM

I recently created my official instagram account, now I’m starting to have some feedback:

I’m chatting with some random guy asking me why did I even start in the first place… LEGIT!

I am so excited!

Sunday, 22 March 2020 | 11:03 PM

Last shat of the day.

But it was the first as well!

Shut up!

PLUP

Sunday, 22 March 2020 |11:27 AM

I’m sitting here on my toilet thinking, it’s bad what is now happening all over the world.

Even my great hero of all times Tom Hanks got infected! This is harsh…

I’ll write him a letter! Hold on Tom! Don’t stop being this cheerful!

Friday, 20 March 2020 | 11:38 PM

I’ve been sitting on the toilet for like 5 minutes now! I’ve been having this tird peeking out my arse…. uh! It just detached! YAY!

Friday, 20 March 2020 | 09:42 AM

Day by day, I am more and more convinced of the fact that this quarantine is making me lose control of my sphincter.

I’m having too many sessions!

Friday, 20 March 2020 | 08:14 AM

‘I love the smell of napalm in the morning’

Thursday, 19 March 2020 | 07:55 PM

Even if I turned to a gluten-free diet, my arse burns.

Yet, I feel relieved. Self-accomplished. 😌

Thursday, 19 March 2020 | 03:23 PM

Lunch: Potatoes potatoes potatoes broccoli potatoes cheese potatoes.

Two hours later: 💩

Thursday, 19 March 2020 | 10:01 AM

The combination of sitting here and listening to Fontaines DC’s Big, reminds me of being a child.

I used to sit on the toilet with my cheeks on the potty training seat, my legs couldn’t reach the floor – not yet -, and I used to think ‘I never want to grow up! I experience so much freedom in taking a poo with my legs all stretched out!’

Such a mature thought! Isn’t it?

Wednesday, 18 March 2020 | 08:07 PM

Working from home means I can shit as many times as I want.

Wednesday, 18 March 2020 | 05:49 PM

During this hard times, better get going…

Better hard shitting!

Wednesday, 18 March 2020 | 01:14 PM

One single shot … could kill them all!

Wednesday, 18 March 2020 | 10:56 AM

Stuck in a brick-and-mortar cage, I found myself luckier than those tirds, being flushed down the sewer.