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Sunday, 8 December 2019 | 08:42 AM

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Sunday, 8 December 2019 | 08:42 AM

Yesterday for dinner, I experimented.

Basmati rice and a made up sauce composed of: chickpea, garlic, milk, Turkish spices.

I must say it was a bit dry. Good taste though.

Yet, I niff a new kind of smell here!

Amazing discovery.

Saturday, 7 December 2019 | 10:03 AM

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Saturday, 7 December 2019 | 10:03 AM

It is weird, you know… I am taking this shy tird thing quite seriously now.

Let’s say I am constantly looking forward to my next shat just because I want to write here.

I know, writing a post each and every time I am taking a poo is a stupid rule. I imposed on myself, yet it seems to be working!

What’s so weird then? Most of my morning shat happen like this: I sit, I handle my phone, I open the app and start typing the post. It really often happens I need to finish some other things before I can start, and here’s the funny fact: I hold my tird till I can actually start writing my post. I kinda feel like I must retain my feelings in order to channel them inside this very odd blog.

Friday, 6 December 2019 | 08:41 AM

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Friday, 6 December 2019 | 08:41 AM

I am so proud of announcing the great return of the shy tird.

I sat on the throne, then I had to wait for it! It’s been long time, you know! I am moved.

Then it started peering out very slowly… and it came out!

Thursday, 5 December 2019 | 08:05 AM

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Thursday, 5 December 2019 | 08:05 AM

Every single time I eat pizza for dinner I go through a painful aftermath. Why does it have to be like this?

Why does my colon wake myself up reminding me its suffering? How come life hurts this much? It is just a pizza!

I get breakfast. Then I am doomed to an outrush of bad feelings coming out of my arse.

Icing on the cake was the powerful headache I have since I woke up. Was it necessary though? Come on!

Wednesday, 4 December 2019 | 07:42 AM

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Wednesday, 4 December 2019 | 07:42 AM

An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

That’s true! And it gives you enough fibre so you can easily every day! No struggle!

A shat a day keeps the doctor away!

…And all the other people from the loo you just used.

Tuesday, 3 December 2019 | 07:23 AM

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Tuesday, 3 December 2019 | 07:23 AM

Life’s plenty of hurdles. Mine is being awakened by cramps, having breakfast with them, bear them during the day, get asleep.

That doesn’t happen every day. No. Just Randomly!

Though, that’s my burden – literally – and I have got to face it!

Having a shat it’s fairly painful. Pretty often.

We’re not into this world just to lament, though.

Life’s hard, life’s full of hurdles. You’ve got to face it!

Monday, 2 December 2019 | 07:13 AM

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Monday, 2 December 2019 | 07:13 AM

Finally I get myself up back to my (not) favourite time!

This time my mindset’s not ready for life, not my eyes, not even my anus! Which miserably feels raped by not-so-shy tirds I got to urge them out.

This way though, Monday could begin.

Sunday, 1 December 2019 | 12:00 PM

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Sunday, 1 December 2019 | 12:00 PM

I was relaxed, working on my computer when suddenly intestinal cramping came. Worst and worst, I could not even run.
You know, I don’t believe in any of that karma stuff, yet sometimes I smell a rat.

From the stink I dare say that rat died two years ago, and they used to make my kebab.

Sunday, 1 December 2019 | 10:08 AM

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Sunday, 1 December 2019 | 10:08 AM

Yesterday I had a doner kebab for dinner, despite my recent tendencies towards reducing meat, I wanted it so badly!

Once I sinned, there was no way for redemption, so I went for the jalapeño chilis and a lot of spicy sauce.

I woke up, prepared myself my usual milk and corn flakes, then I had to run for the loo.

My bowels was hurting intensely. Now my anus burns, but I am clear again!

Hence my advent calendar could now smoothly begin.