Wednesday, 22 January 2020 | 08:37 PM

Have you ever tried pooping with al the lights turned off, intentionally?

Don’t do it. It’s dumb.

Wednesday, 22 January 2020 | 04:17 PM

That was close!
Something peeked out.

Wednesday, 22 January 2020 | 01:31 PM

There are days like this: me working on my laptop from closet.

Tuesday, 21 January 2020 | 10:50 PM

It’s been more than three months now since I started to dedicate more time and thoughts to my shats.

You know, I really love my introspective poops now; I’ve always had some, that’s for sure, though now these moments are even better.

Cheers to contemplative shats!

Now. Please arse, make me finish this one. I’ve got stuff to do!

Tuesday, 22 January 2020 | 09:31 AM

Let’s just begin this lacky-sleep day with a few pops!

Tuesday, 21 January 2020 | 01:43 AM

I just realised an entire day just passed without me taking a shit.

I am still working non stop since when I woke up this morning.

It’s so weird the way stress affects my body. I just farted all day long.

Sunday, 19 January 2020 | 10:16 PM

Thank god it’s sunday! The very end of the week, the beginning of a new one.

Let’s see, what did I accomplish in the last seven days?

Well, for sure I discovered the best accompaniment for my loo sessions: relaxed shat music.

Sunday, 19 January 2020 | 02:14 AM

According to Worldometer 7,8 millions people are currently living on our planet earth.

We, as a single species, poop every day. Healthline even conducted an interesting survey about it. According to their article we can assume an average shat weights around 1/2 pound.

Now. Let’s say every one of us poops once a day. It would mean we, as humans, produce 3.9 millions pounds of crap every single day. It’s about 1.7 thousand of tons a day!

It’s insane! It’s so much waste! If only we could sell it we’d all be rich!

Actually, who’s going to buy it, anyway?

I can’t stop thinking about my girlfriend. This long-distant relationship it’s harsh, but I love her so much!

It may sound degrading, thinking about my girl while I’m pooping, but it is not.

After all she saw me sitting on her toilet right the very first day we dated.

What is this, if it’s not love?

Saturday, 18 January 2020 | 09:49 PM

I spent all last night and all day working.

I just realised this is the first moment after a way long time I can rest for a moment.

Sometimes shats are pretty relaxing and thoughtful.

This one though it’s a bit disturbed by the fact I am actually pooping! And this one’s tough

Saturday, 18 January 2020 | 12:45 PM

Still can’t understand why noon is twelve pm. I think I smell a rat here.

Ah, no! It’s just me

Friday, 17 January 2020 | 06:50 PM

Yes, that’s a reprise. A slimy reprise.

Lentils.

Friday, 17 January 2020 | 06:33 PM

I was looking forward to making this shit.

was running out of farts, and everybody knows what it means.

Lentils never again.

Friday, 17 January 2020 | 08:35 AM

It’s ever since I finished my last, this reprise calls.

I can’t keep eating lentils. But I like them so much!

Friday, 17 January 2020 | 07:25 AM

Such a lovely intestine I have! I spent the night collecting farts while sleeping.

I can’t say I slept badly, I just woke up a bit earlier than I expected!

On the other hand I lived the most adventurous dream ever: at first I went in Copenaghen for the official roll-out of one of my best friends’ roller coaster. It was more like a huge wheel (350 feet high) onto we orbited so stupidly fast I lost control and smashed pretty far away from it.

I ended up in a place such far I can’t say it was in Denmark anymore. I just know I was at another friend of mine’s place. In the real world money is not a problem for him at all all right? But in this spectacular dream he bought a new Audi prototype kinda resembling a rollercoaster-spacecraft-launching-vessel – you know, the kind of stuff Elon Musk invests 4 million dollars on. I was inside it with a few other friends, at launch I was excited – I like speedy things! – though I startled as soon as we departed. It was out of control!

Needless to say I ended up in a new Sci-Fi scenario (I’m really considering a career into Cinema – my brain appears to be good at non-sense scripts): this time I was with scientists on a platform built under the sea, we were testing odd swimming suits that looked like spacesuits, and the head of the operation was my former professor at University. I can’t really recall how the dream ended, but I’m quite sure the suit stopped working right after we dived.

Even if I died tonight, and I am now concerned about my roller-coaster drift, the dream was terrific!

By the way, all this time I was telling my tales I am still pooping. Just saying