I haven’t slept the best way. So now My stomach is not ready to deploy.

Nevertheless, I decided to sit spreading my cheeks, hold it still, and contract my abdomen.

It worked. BRILLIANT! I was only able to produce some sort of curly maggots 2-inches long. I mean, they are very narrow and light brown colored.

I have to say, I don’t feel self-accomplished at all! 🙁

I think I found some balance. Not eating too badly, having many fruits and veggies. Do loads of sport… It nourishes me. It regularizes my bowels for sure.

Still… I feel like I know it. I just need to skip my routine for just one day, and my turds will start passing to the dark side.

DART TURD is coming, I kinda feel it!💀

PS this one wasn’t bad enough, but the yesterday’s curry was hiding inside it hideously

I frankly don’t know how to express my joy.

It is the first time in a very long while I am taking the classical shit.

It’s composed of three distinct tirds. They are all very compact, twisted just a little, dark brown, in between of smoothness and roughness, just the right amount of lumps.

If I had a photographic studio I’d frame the picture of the year. It is simply too much. Too much beauty before my very eyes. I am moved. I start crying.

…or just maybe… I am crying because of its burning smell.

Tirds like chalk

They wrote something on the slope of my WC.

It’s ‘fuck you’

🙁

Done!

Last week, I achieved my week-day sobriety, balanced by some beers both on Saturday and Sunday.

Nice. I feel more powerful now.

Or at least will once I deployed all the rubbish still inside me.

Yesterday I randomised my nutrition.

Normal breakfast (guaranteed), then I ate two carrots and an apple from 10AM to 5PM

At 5PM I started feeling a bit hungry, so I ate a red steak. 3 beers after that, and some pizza for dinner (9PM).

My arse doesn’t understand what happened. Indeed it just 2-minute farts, and 1-kg turd, and repeat.

Yesterday I had to skip dinner. I bough some roasted potatoes on my launch brake and I finished processing ‘em at 11:00PM.

Now everything tat went in, must come out!

But it’s a massacre.

Not an international phenomenon yet. Yet, I consider myself The shitfluencer.

And the funny thing is my shit is nothing different from the others’

Almost forgetting to have a writing here!

I started a new job this week. Until I set myself up, I won’t have regular shits, I tend to forget to write about them, I am sleeping a lot.

Btw, the one lying at the bottom of my toilet cannot be defined as a tird. It has no shape, it sticked on my arse’s skin, it’s pale brown.

At least my belly doesn’t hurt! …wait a minute…😖

I was just having a little pee and a huge turd got out!🤯

First of all, I need breakfast, then I need it to sediment inside me.

After up to twenty minutes I am ready to expel.

Here I am consecrate this new day with a resounding shat!

I love singing on my toilet.

While I am shitting.

While I’m on an online meeting.

While I’m writing this post.

Yesterday I cooked myself some Basmati rice with tomato and courgette. My shit this morning has no scent at all.

Unexpected eruption.