Nice and easy shit today

My breakfast:

Peanut butter spread on bread, with dry figs and blueberry marmalade.

In 5 minutes I was on the toilet.

Nice

Forgot to mention that huge shit I needed to take yesterday before lunch.

I was helping organising this huge conference, needed to bring a printable from point A to point B.

I was feeling my bowels not stable enough, so – thinking forward, I understood I needed to take a shit. I went to the toilet but NOTHING.

–

I had just started my car when I felt it. I had to park as close as the offices as possible and rush to the directors toilet. She was not there, because she was at the conference at that moment. SO THE PLACE WAS ALL FOR ME.

And you know what I do in these situation.

I TAKE LOOSE STAINING SHIT. Unhealthy stinky dung.

Then, I felt better. Finished my chore and got back to the conference.

–

The day finished late, after a super fine gala diner. Ate wonderfully, drank as well.

Got back home at midnight thirty, my stomach still full.

Finally, it’s now early in the morning, what shall I do?

First have some breakfast, then squat the loo.

Shit all over.

Nice.

Genius move: to drink three pints on an empty stomach. Yeah. This morning my eyelids don’t work.

YOU KNOW WHAT WORKS THOUGH?

My intestines

Been awake for 4 hours already. Early work to do.

Btw, I felt some turds piling up ever since.

But only now I feel wide awake to do so.

DONE!

Let’s go back to sleep now

So if I eat fruit mid-morning, salad for lunch, and a hamburger for dinner I can take great shit in the morning?

NICE!

So, another shit for today.

No. Today was not a great day for a poop

Finally. Yesterday I ate veggies.

Today shit.

NICE AND EASY!

Why can’t I do that every day???

Aaaaaa goooood sheeeet

Somewhat constipated.

Eventually took a shit: one nugget.

2/10 shit today.

AND.

No nothing, my day’s not worth living now 😡

Chilli for lunch, premium kebab for dinner.

Yesterday was a great day!

Now, constipation all along

Maybe – only maybe – I didn’t thought it thoroughly when I ate chili for lunch…

I still have some meetings in the afternoon …..

And I’m now on the toilet…:

Today I made a fair amount of poop

At first I was constipated. In fact I spent the first two hours of my morning routine just full of shit.

Now, finally, after one hour at my workdesk I feel it.

My workdesk now moves for some of minutes on the toilet.

My day can actually begin, now!