This evening I’m struggling to install cracked software on my friend’s new Macbook.

Since I still had no shit today, I am asphyxiating him with my terrible-stink-climaxing farts.

I took the chance to reveal to him this very personal blog. He was too involved.

Yesterday I completely forgot to set my alarm for this morning. my today’s first words ‘NO! Shit!”

This meant I barely found the time to have a rapid shower, but had no time whatsoever to have a shit. I am scared now, I feel burdened, I ate a lot yesterday, loats of meat, pasta, even ice scream!!

What really gives me true fear is, there is no window in at my work’s toilet 🙃. And I am not alone here…

All right then! let’s go back to farts work!

I shat this morning but I forgot to jot it down.

right, who really cares?

Btw now I am hungry

I am so tired I can’t even squeeze myself to shit.

You can stay inside today, mate!

Another one for the masses

I’ve been writing on this blog for a while now, I’ve been taking shits since I was born, and yet I still get surprised by this kind of turds.

I filled the cup with soft rods, pretty light brown. They look so smooth and healthy. I feel like a God who has just created creatures.

People = shit

It’s so fun being a first timer!

I’ve just inaugurated a new toilet with my very first shit at work!

So self-realising! Such a day to be remembered!

Now. How do I get rid of this tedious reek? There’s no window here! 😕

Back again on the insomnia. If it does not let ME sleep, it doesn’t allow my bowels to rest too.

So here I am waiting for… what?

UH! I heard something poppin!

Tryin’ Having a quicky, but it’s hard.

Read it again and again. It gets more and more sense

Midday shit. Nothing so great about it.

Yet, it’s FUCKING MIDDAY SHIT!!

Cringy post

I really don’t know what was on my mind when I decided to have some pretty huge sandwiches for lunch.

Now a pretty huge brownie is waiting for me to find a toilet.

I haven’t slept the best way. So now My stomach is not ready to deploy.

Nevertheless, I decided to sit spreading my cheeks, hold it still, and contract my abdomen.

It worked. BRILLIANT! I was only able to produce some sort of curly maggots 2-inches long. I mean, they are very narrow and light brown colored.

I have to say, I don’t feel self-accomplished at all! 🙁

I think I found some balance. Not eating too badly, having many fruits and veggies. Do loads of sport… It nourishes me. It regularizes my bowels for sure.

Still… I feel like I know it. I just need to skip my routine for just one day, and my turds will start passing to the dark side.

DART TURD is coming, I kinda feel it!💀

PS this one wasn’t bad enough, but the yesterday’s curry was hiding inside it hideously

I frankly don’t know how to express my joy.

It is the first time in a very long while I am taking the classical shit.

It’s composed of three distinct tirds. They are all very compact, twisted just a little, dark brown, in between of smoothness and roughness, just the right amount of lumps.

If I had a photographic studio I’d frame the picture of the year. It is simply too much. Too much beauty before my very eyes. I am moved. I start crying.

…or just maybe… I am crying because of its burning smell.

Tirds like chalk

They wrote something on the slope of my WC.

It’s ‘fuck you’

🙁