last   poops

Saturday, 29 May 2021 | 09:24 AM

Two pizzas a day makes something greatly rhyme with a day, but I can’t find any, because there ain’t no word for this shapeless brown blob laying at the bottom of my toilet.

Wednesday, 26 May 2021 | 06:55 AM

This one is hard to describe, but I’ll try.

I’ve been spreading my cheeks for five or six minutes, veery sloowwlyy the gravity force started to act on the stuff. It’s going down taking its time. Once it reaches my anus it deploys its blades, they sink in my skin, penetrating it. I push, it stings. I push, it pushes back.

I have to bail, using my muscles to take it back inside. I am fearful. How could I expel it now, if it breaks me apart. I decide to do it, no matter how painful it is. I push, hard, as hard as I can. It goes by, followed by two fat twins.

I am free.

Tuesday, 25 May 2021 | 04:46 PM

I guess I shall get used to leaving some shit at work. I am not talking about forgetting pencils on the desk, I mean actual stinky crap down the toilet!

Btw, The loo still has no windows.

Monday, 24 May 2021 | 07:02 AM

A new week begins. I am here on my toilet, and my brain goes storming.

I think I need some improvements on my toilet. Do you think that smooth china object is already perfect like this? You’re wrong!

The world is plenty of useless devices, sharing big data with the big brother up there. We shall protest, we shall rebel.

I shall invent the smart toilet, it could weigh our shit, testing its consistency, register the time and the streak each human produce. Even color could be at count.

If I only had the money, I’d do that. It’s fucking genius! It’s the most useful smart device that could ever exist!