According to what I felt inside me yesterday, I shall have loads of shit to expel, piled up for days. Nevertheless, I only pooped some dry tirds, idle pieces of shit. Not satisfying at all.

I am having some issues today. No shit in the morning (even if I sat there for 45 minutes). Loads of farts. A lot is gone already, some are still inside, punching me within.

I’ve just realised I am not eating fruit these days. I noticed from my clogged shit. I mean it is in its way out, I feel it in my inner anus, but it just doesn’t want to get out

Back on the technical stuff.

Since I feel crap hidden inside me, I am trying to stimulate it out using this technique of mine (which I don’t think I invented), it consists of stretching my anus in and out alternately. After a few movements, the bowels shall activate, and burst it all out.

This time is taking longer than usual, I fee it coming, at the same time is getting late, at the same time I can’t start my day with such a burden within my body!

Well well well, here we go again. I had some beers and I slept less than I firmly need to get through with my day. My belly’s weighted, my shit is still inside. I am constipated.

There’s this friend of mine who’s getting abroad, one year in Peru. Very nice indeed! Whatever was the reason to drink though, even if the nobler one, I have to cope with the fact that I simply cannot afford it. My body doesn’t take it. I shall really stop drinking, even if it’s unfair. Why can people have fun and I cannot?!

I opened this blog to tell about my shit habits, not my dull life! I would rather tell my shit it’s staining all over my toilet now! I want a normal life!

End of this stupid outburst.

Finally, a place to stay stain.

My friend leaves for one year in South America, and I had to use his home toilet for a stone shit. I mean, it really feels like I’ve just shat a big pebble.

I feel better now btw…

Now that I digested lunch it’s getting harder and harder to hold my farts at work.

But I guess I gotta wait…

My anus is not as determined though

A little constipation to start the week. Not a good sign.

I don’t remember to have had any shit today…

Been trying unsuccessfully. I get it! Gotta fill up the tank first! Yesterday’s diarrhoea emptied it all…

AGAIN.

Transitioning to liquidity this time…

I thought what I experienced this morning was enough. I could not be more wrong.

I was working smoothly when a call from within reached me abruptly. I am now defecating what seems like lava, at my office toilet, which has no windows, just an old under-performing vent. 😐

In the meanwhile, my bowels feel more tangled than wires behind TVs. Oh, and it hurts!

It is way too early to be awake already. Here’s what’s happened.

There’s this friend of mine who raps, he’s been telling me he does ever since I knew him. Whole these years I never happened to have listened to him. Yesterday he made kind of a debut with his crossover band, Thursday is not exactly the best day for a gig but I simply couldn’t miss his show.

So I went to the gym, I got out and I had a kebab, I got to the party and a friend of mine handed me a zoot, cool. Yes, it was a bit cool. I was freezing my arse off, I wasn’t prepared for such a strong wind. BTW, while smoking I felt my belly hurting, ‘oh shit, it’s coming!’. I successfully tried to make it pass. Then I kept drinking my three beers.

It was all very nice. There was even a mosh-pit, which I sling myself into every time possible. I slept bitterly, waking up every two hours for a wee, then at 5 o’clock my belly couldn’t procrastinate over, and here I am, painfully piling crap inside my toilet.

Painfully. It hurts. Everybody’s sleeping still, I can’t thrash things around me, not even yell in pain. It does have to stay inside me, pain at least! Shit is very much outside. Very much indeed, it’s so abundant it loaded my toilet above the water.

That said, Let the weekend begin!

I’ve got to say what’s just happened doesn’t happen very often. It never occurred before to me indeed.

I was about to leave the office when I realised I might have needed a shit, so I sat on the toilet. I stretched for a while, but nothing seemed to get out apart from some random air. Well, after ten minutes I bailed.

What was utter surprise it’s the little turd I saw floating mid-water once I turned around to flush it.

It made my day

Yesterday I had pizza for dinner, and I am the kind of person who orders it once a month. I thought I would have had a good solid Tird for shitting this morning, but it didn’t happen 🙁

Only a few droplets, such a shame!