Even if my body was still bloating, I slept fairly good, the problem now is, I woke up early as usual to go running, but I am now stuck on the throne. Crap seems endless, farts as well, my schedule is fucked. My arse is relaxed. The shit, is still shit.

Finally, my bowels are deflating, with a little help though…

You should see me, I’m on the sofa doing the candle position to make gravity activate my stupid lazy intestines. Every once in a while a fart pops, then the pain goes on.

I wonder how long will it last…

I had pasta for lunch and, FUUCK I’m bloating! Seriously, I feel like half the mass of my body is now Gas! It’s terrible!

And it doesn’t even get out! I’m about to take a needle and blow myself off

At first I thought my body wasn’t going to make it this time, that I would have had to get out with no shit done. I sat down, I immediately started pushing, I pushed hard and hard and hard, as hard as I could, even if I am still very drowsy. WROOOOOOOOSH.

Everything went off at light speed. Now the toilet is filled with brown energy. CRAPPPPOWEEEER!

My day can now begin.

After this morning’s naughty moves, my bowels keeps quiet.

Is it the calm before the storm?

Hey yo! Now you can read my shits, daily, on Telegraaaaam!

Joi the channel: https://t.me/theshytird

This morning I decided not to have a poop right before my running session, I was afraid that I may end up taking a crap somewhere behind a bush, but I was lucky. Insted I spent the first two-kilometre stretch alternating steps and farts. It was a bumpy workout!

Now I am comfortably sitting on my toilet, and I feel eve luckier, with such a yucky shit, it would have been a very dirty workout.

And the shit keep getting out!

My girlfriend preparing Tzatziki, me taking a shit. She needs a feedback on its flavour but I am already deploying crap. Never mind… I said, our relationship has already reached higher peaks, it’s fine.

She immediately came to me with a spoonful of the white sauce and put it in my mouth. I’ve got to say some garlic was missing, but that wasn’t easy to spot, my nose was already filled with my crap’s smell.

I was just finished writing it, when she came back with another spoon, I tasted it, and it was better, the smell of my poop probably enriched it now.

I feel a little dizzy, I shall be sleeping right now, but instead I am here on my toilet trying to push evil out. I am not sure wether there might actually be some evil inside me or not, but the matter of the fact is that I feel my insides burning and twisting.

Ok, after a few minutes spent pushing and hard breathing like a mom giving birth, there’s some monster getting out. It is amorphous and very ugly, and I am feeling a little more better jolt after jolt, piece by piece deployed.

Long story short I had my favourite ramen in town with my friend, we had a walk and then we urged back to my place. We need shit.

I came back home finding my girlfriend having a happy hour with some random friends, nice.

Now I am staining my own toilet, my friend is socialising outside, and I, well am having the time of my life. Can’t grant for the next person who’ll enter in the bathroom

Yesterday I must have eaten something too healthy. I only produced three turds, they are two balls and one stick, I get a floating sad face in the water. SIGNS??

Went home early. Gotta go to a funeral. I have some minutes to hang wet clothes, but the propeller inside me denies it. NO, YOU GOTTA SHIT NOW! So I followed its desire, placing a mess inside the toilet

Oh fuck it! I should have said NO to that bloody beer! It was 10:30PM and I was drinking red wine since 7PM, ‘what’s wrong with a Beer?’, I thought. I actually knew this already, I would have ended up regretting that moment. I woke myself up at 6 ‘o clock, and I spent the last thirty minutes waiting for all the shit to push out. It’s a nightmare! I think I already know what kind of disease I have, but I really don’t want it official. Let’s keep silent pooping. Smelly-reeky-painful-shocking pooping.

I (h)ate lasagna for lunch.

Precisely two hours later, I am sitting on the office’s toilet praying for it to finish soon. I smells horribly, it is cramping, it is shattered.

Nice loose crap, nice nice nice