the Shy Tird

Monday, 8 June 2020 | 09:34 AM

Talking about meteors… this one’s on fire!

Monday, 8 June 2020 | 07:52 AM

If I shat on ants, would they see meteors?

Sunday, 7 June 2020 | 04:49 PM

I feel like I had no shit in a week.

My shats are becoming weak.

I reached the peak,

A tird resembling a beak.

Saturday, 6 June 2020 | 12:08 PM

I’d like to shoot a time lapse of one of my shit bathing in the sun.

I wonder how long would it take to disappear completely.

Friday, 5 June 2020 | 04:39 PM

I keep saying the only human action that has never evolved throughout all our history ever since, is shitting.

Friday, 5 June 2020 | 10:17 AM

This was so intense I almost fainted, now my head hurts.

Thursday, 4 June 2020 | 02:31 PM

Keep your eyes on my anus expanding, releasing brownish matter, and contracting.

Use your imagination.

Wednesday, 3 June 2020 | 04:07 PM

If I was a rabbit I’d collect my little pearly tirds to make a necklace for my girlfriend.

Wednesday, 3 June 2020 | 11:17 AM

I’m losing my grip, gotta get some anal training.

Tuesday, 2 June 2020 | 09:29 AM

Let’s face it. Taking a poop is our dumbest bug.

Sunday, 31 May 2020 | 12:52 PM

Stiff.

Saturday, 30 May 2020 | 06:01 PM

💩💩💩💨 💩💩💨💩💨💩💨💨💩💨💨 / 💩💨💩💩💩💩💨💨💩💨💩💩💩/ 💨💩💨💩💩💨💩💩💨💩💨💨💩

… – .. -. -.- -.– / .-.. .. – – .-.. . / -.-. .-. .- .–.

Saturday, 30 May 2020 | 03:51 PM

If fart means LONG, and tird means SHORT, I could transmit messages in morse with my arse!

Saturday, 30 May 2020 | 09:49 AM

Dry stuff. You know what does this remind me?

Raisins.

Friday, 29 May 2020 | 07:56 AM

Hasty rush for the toilet.

I had to run briskly.

Now my anus is so angry with me…

Thursday, 28 May 2020 | 04:35 PM

This shit is acid.

Thursday, 28 May 2020 | 09:29 AM

I am trying to reset my routine, it’s so good to start the day with a relieving shit.

Empty bowels means happy days.

Wednesday, 27 May 2020 | 05:34 PM

Today’s crap is as hard as cobblestone.

It just made a hole in my toilet.

The floor is soaking wet. And that’s not normal water.

Tuesday, 26 May 2020 | 03:48 PM

You know clubs? I mean cavemen’s clubs.

The one kind Fred Flinstones uses.

Well I just arse-crafted one.

Tuesday, 26 May 2020 | 02:30 PM

I’m now looking very much forward to summer times. I love it when I can wander casually in the woods and have a shit in the nature.

Just like I did last summer. I was on a bot with friends, we stopped by a little arcipelago made of three pretty little island, more likely very big rocks with some vegetation on them.

Well, I dived for a swim, when suddenly I felt the urge to unload. So I swam to the closest cliff, climbed it goggles tied on my suit.

Once arrived to some vegetation I carefully stepped on some bushes, while hanging in mid-air I had one of the most satisfying shit ever.

The only cons has been wiping my arse with some roughy leaves…

Monday, 25 May 2020 | 10:23 AM

I love it when it lighten so smoothly. I don’t even feel like an execrable maroon thing came off me grasping for life.

This is a happy day!

Sunday, 24 May 2020 | 08:04 PM

Before-dinner blop.

Not the very best.

Sunday, 24 May 2020 | 10:11 AM

If expelling tirds meant getting rid of all the bad vibes I’d be Mahatma pooper

Saturday, 23 May 2020 | 10:57 AM

This was HUGE!

If I’d have to name every tird as a child, I would need a proper yearbook.

Pictures included.

Friday, 22 May 2020 | 02:40 PM

I just don’t know what’s to be told about this dull shit. It is just pathetic.

Thursday, 21 May 2020 | 02:49 PM

Here’s another one! Vleksncjskwnejfidns

Thursday, 21 May 2020 | 10:19 AM

Yesterday I spent the whole day not having a shit. Not a single drop.

I need a corkscrew now!

Tuesday, 19 May 2020 | 07:10 PM

Shit I’m late, why does my arse can’t help bothering me in these moments?

Al least it made it easy. Just a single tird. Though looooooong.

Tuesday, 19 April 2020 | 02:26 PM

Ear plugs on, all the lights switched off, just tucked in bed. All set for a great nap.

Knock knock!

…fuck. It’s my bum. He needs a shit.

Monday, 18 May 2020 | 11:19 AM

New emoji!!!

: ) 3———————

Guess what it is